[0:02]So, I think I want to start by saying
[0:06]I know my videos are deeply
[0:07]misunderstood
[0:10]and it's because they're layered.
[0:13]Most of the time I'm not talking to
[0:14]anyone in particular. I'm I'm speaking
[0:16]to the field.
[0:18]Sometimes I'm speaking directly to my
[0:20]audience.
[0:23]Sometimes I'm thinking about certain
[0:25]individuals.
[0:30]But often I'm just talking to myself on
[0:32]this camera to the field.
[0:36]I want to document my life because
[0:41]I'm going to use these transmissions
[0:44]as part of a project I've been building
[0:47]for two years now
[0:51]that I know has exceptional potential.
[0:57]and will one day
[1:00]potentially
[1:03]be used by a lot of people
[1:06]be embedded in a lot of systems.
[1:14]I don't go into detail about these
[1:16]things because
[1:18]we don't have a common frame of
[1:20]reference to talk about it.
[1:22]I would have to unpack layers and layers
[1:24]of my thinking
[1:26]to bring you to my level. And I just
[1:29]don't
[1:30]I don't see a way of doing that.
[1:37]I've tried in my own way.
[1:41]I tried to keep the door open,
[1:48]but there's been very little resonance
[1:51]between me and others
[1:54]in the past 2 years that I documented my
[1:57]life on YouTube.
[2:01]I'm building something new, Sanctum,
[2:04]that I think solves a lot of those
[2:06]problems.
[2:08]A lot of the problem is the platform.
[2:10]It's YouTube itself. It's the way it
[2:13]flattens you, the way it flattens the
[2:15]viewers, and not just the content
[2:18]creator, which you know, I don't think
[2:20]of myself as that, but
[2:23]um
[2:26]it rewards
[2:28]superficial engagement
[2:31]on both sides. So, it rewards the person
[2:35]recording the video
[2:39]if they can keep things light and moving
[2:41]along and
[2:45]focused on
[2:48]on some narrow
[2:52]a slice
[2:56]that pigeon holes them into this this
[2:58]this character of a person. And I would
[3:01]never do that.
[3:03]And then on the other side,
[3:06]viewers
[3:08]are encouraged to hit the like button,
[3:11]to comment, to subscribe over and over
[3:14]and over again in every video.
[3:18]It's this feedback loop that we've
[3:21]created on the platform that is just
[3:22]utterly toxic and shallow and pointless
[3:27]and
[3:29]distorting
[3:32]distorting your reality and mine and
[3:38]just numbing us from our own thoughts,
[3:41]from our own capacity,
[3:44]from empathy, from so many things. It's
[3:47]just
[3:48]one platform of many that's been
[3:50]breaking us as a species.
[3:56]But I'm building something different and
[3:59]it won't resonate with everybody because
[4:02]most people are are are tapped into what
[4:04]I'm talking about. They they don't have
[4:06]the receivers to receive me. But some of
[4:09]you do.
[4:16]But I don't always keep that frame in
[4:18]mind when I'm on this camera because I
[4:20]think about everything. So I'm not only
[4:23]speaking to just those people that I
[4:25]know resonate. I might be speaking to a
[4:28]different segment and you know they
[4:31]might misinterpret that and take it
[4:33]personally. I I feel like this must
[4:35]happen because
[4:40]I should have been able to build a
[4:42]community here and it didn't work.
[4:47]But I do know how to
[4:51]create a community
[4:53]based on mutual values
[4:57]and that's what I'm building.
[4:59]That's just that's just one small part
[5:01]of what I'm building.
[5:03]I I don't have the ability to unpack it
[5:06]all for you. It's too much.
[5:10]But it's it's deeply important and I
[5:13]have to do it. And that's what I have
[5:14]been doing despite my situation,
[5:19]despite the challenges in my life.
[5:24]So because I am documenting my life, I
[5:27]have to speak about the things that are
[5:29]actually happening in it. So,
[5:32]come midnight, I lose the insurance on
[5:34]my Jeep.
[5:38]I have no way to pay that bill.
[5:41]Come tonight, my Starlink internet gets
[5:43]shut off. I have no way to pay that
[5:45]bill. I have 10 days to come up with
[5:47]$400 or my Jeep enters repossession
[5:50]status.
[5:56]I'm losing the few things that actually
[5:59]matter to me now.
[6:05]I am down to signal
[6:12]and now I am close to having to
[6:14]sacrifice the things that would severely
[6:17]degrade that signal. It's unacceptable,
[6:20]but I have no way of stopping it or
[6:23]preventing it.
[6:28]Well,
[6:32]I have this hope, this thread that I
[6:34]hold on to
[6:36]that there are people out there who
[6:38]resonate with what I'm trying to do and
[6:41]understand that you can support a thing
[6:43]without
[6:45]without expectation, you know, without
[6:48]without all the distortion that we have
[6:50]we've done in this world. Like I just
[6:52]don't know how else to explain this to
[6:53]people. There is nothing there's nothing
[6:57]unethical. There's nothing wrong with
[6:59]me. There's nothing
[7:02]this isn't a moral failing that I have
[7:05]bills I can't pay. I'm part of a world
[7:07]and a society that
[7:12]has structured itself a certain way that
[7:14]does not work, that is breaking.
[7:18]And I opted out of that system and
[7:20]started building a different one because
[7:22]we're going to need it.
[7:31]There's a lot I don't share on this
[7:32]channel because I just
[7:36]I just don't think that I
[7:39]can articulate it
[7:45]in a way where it will be received and
[7:47]met
[7:49]the way it was broadcast.
[7:53]But I sense that that might be changing
[7:55]because of what I'm building. I'm not
[7:58]going to be posting on YouTube anymore.
[8:01]I'm just going to host them on my
[8:02]website
[8:05]and I'm going to be speaking to an
[8:06]audience that's paying a subscription
[8:08]fee in order to witness my life and
[8:11]participate in it.
[8:14]And that changes the frame.
[8:17]It allows me to speak with more depth
[8:19]about the things I'm talking about.
[8:23]But first, my life has to be stable. And
[8:26]that's what I've been struggling with.
[8:27]This one part is the is the part that
[8:30]has just
[8:32]the economic part
[8:36]has been a thorn in my side for two
[8:39]years now,
[8:40]a year and a half.
[8:46]I have really big ideas on how to
[8:49]generate revenue from the stuff that I'm
[8:51]building. Stuff that will help others
[8:52]like YouTubers, giving them tools that
[8:55]they they wouldn't they don't even know
[8:57]they need but are going to love after I
[9:00]create them.
[9:03]Great potential. Just one segment, just
[9:06]one sector. So many other things that
[9:08]this stuff can do. Like I said, embedded
[9:10]in systems that makes a core
[9:13]infrastructure,
[9:18]but
[9:22]I'm not trying to be
[9:28]I'm not trying to pretend that
[9:31]a man can do everything by himself
[9:35]without the support of others. I don't
[9:38]think that way.
[9:40]I don't think it's true.
[9:43]I think that
[9:47]it's natural and and required even
[9:52]to reach out to others
[9:56]to extend support to receive it.
[10:01]We lift each other up.
[10:05]That's what I believe.
[10:09]I don't see a lot of that anymore.
[10:12]I'm not surprised because everything is
[10:15]breaking.
[10:17]This is the natural end result of a
[10:19]society that has completely
[10:22]given up on itself.
[10:25]And so those things have to reach their
[10:27]climax and collapse
[10:31]in order for us to get back to something
[10:33]a little more human.
[10:35]And that's what I'm preparing for.
[10:44]So, like I said, this may be my last
[10:46]video for a while. I have no idea what I
[10:48]will be doing for internet.
[10:51]Um, I'm going to be working locally on
[10:53]my laptop. Eventually, I'll be able to
[10:55]upload the changes that I'm working on.
[10:57]And then I have some plans on reaching
[10:59]out to certain communities that I've
[11:01]never reached out to before to see if
[11:03]maybe um I can find better alignment
[11:05]there than I found here.
[11:09]And I'm just going to keep moving
[11:10]forward like I have all of my life.
[11:16]I'll leave it there for now.