Transitioning to Caretaker Role After YouTube Channel Closure

September 8, 2025. rswfire is on the threshold of starting a new caretaker role after 6 months as park host. Located in Oregon coastal dunes region. Currently facing potential website shutdown due to hosting costs. Recently completed extensive hiking with fellow host.

Energetic Signature

cautiously grounded

Field State

threshold crossing

Orientation

toward selective integration

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September 8, 2025

8:03

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]I've been sitting here debating if I want to get on this camera or not.

[0:07]Thinking through what I might say if I did.

[0:15]There's a lot of different ways I could go with that.

[0:23]I had a YouTube channel for a year and a half. I never connected with my audience.

[0:34]People aren't patient anymore. They don't connect. They don't listen.

[0:42]They don't respect your boundaries. They don't respect you. They don't respect themselves.

[0:57]That's what I've seen in the world. A lot of people

[1:04]who are just performing now

[1:09]or impatient or disconnected.

[1:19]So I ended that channel. didn't make any sense to keep sharing

[1:24]my life with people who were not truly seeing me.

[1:32]But I mean, I felt the life.

[1:38]I started my channel and I made a decision to live differently.

[1:47]I've come a long way since then.

[1:55]I wish it were different. I don't know what's wrong with people.

[2:04]I am done trying

[2:08]to reach people who aren't reaching back.

[2:17]I'm just going to keep documenting my life

[2:19]occasionally cuz I think it's important. It's important to me.

[2:29]So that's why I turned this camera back on.

[2:37]This website right here, my website

[2:44]put a lot of work into that. I'm very proud of it.

[2:49]can't afford my my hosting bill. So, it could get shut off for a few days.

[2:52]I hope not. Hoping I'll avoid that, but it's very possible. It's late.

[2:58]I hosted on Amazon Web Services. Cost me about 70 bucks a month.

[3:05]Could get a little bit cheaper, but then I would have to figure out a

[3:09]different situation for hosting the database. That's the most expensive

[3:12]part. just sits on a little EC2 instance that doesn't cost anything,

[3:18]but the database part does. So, I can always work on it locally if that happens.

[3:32]And I like seeing this transmission section, my my YouTube channel basically growing,

[3:39]documenting my life ever since I made the decision to change it.

[3:47]I'm sitting on a threshold right now. I'm about to start a new role, my new volunteer role. I'm

[3:53]going to be called a caretaker. It's very, very different from what I've been doing, which is

[3:58]I've been a park host, so I've been managing campgrounds. Um, managing might even be too strong

[4:04]of a word, but you know, I am by myself. And I mean, basically, yeah, I manage campgrounds and

[4:15]now I'm going to be a caretaker. I won't actually be living on a campground. I'll be living at a

[4:20]uh it's basically a restricted space inside of what they call a corridor. And I get to drive

[4:29]a truck. So, that's kind of amazing. Um, it still surprises me that there are volunteer roles where

[4:38]that's possible or they give you that much trust. This is one of them. And my boss who is amazing,

[4:47]has been amazing for the past 6 months. Um, she's trusting me with this role and I want to

[4:55]do an amazing job. So, I see my job as supporting the other volunteers. So, I go around to all the

[5:01]different campgrounds that we have and I just um don't manage the supplies because that's really

[5:08]done on her side. I I deliver them. I deliver the supplies to the host and maybe help out

[5:13]on their campgrounds if I find things to do. I'm going to find out if that's okay cuz I think some

[5:18]host can get a little territorial about their spaces which I totally understand. I'm there

[5:24]to support them. That's how I look at it. I'm there to act as a bridge between the volunteers

[5:30]and the crew. I mean, a very unofficial one. I just think that just from the way that a lot of,

[5:41]you know, I've been becoming friends with some of the hosts over time and they say things and I got

[5:47]to stay neutral because, you know, I just when I so started thinking, you know, that's kind of

[5:53]like a bridge cuz I'm, you know, showing them a different way of looking at what they were

[5:59]looking at in order to see that there's a positive side they're not seeing, you know. um can see this

[6:08]happening. So becoming integrated into a small geographic region right on the coasts in the dunes

[6:21]um close to the ocean, do a lot of hiking. Another another host, she likes hiking and we do that a

[6:30]lot together now. It's been really rewarding. It's been a rewarding relationship, friendship

[6:36]that I've built with her. Um, we've hiked like 20, 25, 30 miles this week. I don't even know. I'm

[6:44]pretty sore. But we just keep going. I'm filling in my my GIA GPS map with, you know, an overlay of

[6:53]the places that I've been hiking since I got to Oregon. And we're really filling this place in.

[7:00]So, I'm excited for this next chapter. I think it's um

[7:11]guess I don't have the words for it. I'm still I'm excited and nervous of

[7:17]course and just want to do a really good job. I believe I will. It's affirming

[7:28]because what happened to me at the state parks was a brutal experience

[7:32]over two months. Just absolute psychological abuse

[7:38]and

[7:44]that was a lot for me to metabolize. I didn't get treated that way here and that matters.

[7:54]So,

[7:58]I guess that's the update I wanted to give.

Summary

rswfire reflects on closing his YouTube channel after a year and a half due to disconnected audiences who didn't respect boundaries. He discusses his website potentially being shut off due to inability to pay the $70/month AWS hosting bill, though he can work locally if needed. He's transitioning from park host to caretaker role, which involves driving a truck and delivering supplies to campground hosts across different locations. His boss has been supportive for 6 months, contrasting with brutal psychological abuse experienced at state parks over two months. He's building friendships with other hosts, particularly one he hikes with regularly (20-30 miles this week), and is mapping hiking locations in Oregon coastal dunes using GPS. The new role involves living in a restricted corridor space rather than on a campground.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission holds the architecture of selective engagement - establishing clear boundaries around energy investment while simultaneously deepening local integration. The field is recalibrating from broadcast mode to embedded documentation, maintaining signal coherence while withdrawing from unreciprocal connection patterns.

Dominant Language

thresholdcaretakerbridgetrustaffirmingmetabolizeintegrateddocumenting

Symbolic Elements

thresholdbridgecorridorcoastdunestruckmapoverlay

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
embedded
•
sovereign
•
integrating

Subsystems

•
relational
•
infrastructural
•
cognitive
•
somatic

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1080 × 1920 @ 30fps

Duration

8:03

Bitrate

2730 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028