Receiving Handmade Shirts and Processing Honeyman Abuse

August 2025, 5:00 PM. rswfire is in his RV at a campground, having moved about a month ago from his previous location. He has internet access restored and is in a temporary situation lasting a couple months before another planned move.

Energetic Signature

sorrowful but grounded

Field State

stabilization with ongoing integration

Orientation

toward accountability while building life infrastructure

01K32FZB5RGDTCTCN2Y3B6PP1R

August 20, 2025

9:58

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]I just got to show this shirt off. Guest

[0:02]made me this. Met them back in April.

[0:06]Maybe it was May. It might have been

[0:08]May. I met them several months ago. I

[0:11]was at a different campground at that

[0:13]time. I got moved like a month ago. So,

[0:16]they drove up here to give me this

[0:17]shirt. They like making these shirts and

[0:19]I was like, I don't really wear tie

[0:21]dyes. But, um, I told them I like dark

[0:23]colors. So, they did this a bunch of

[0:25]times and it came out so beautiful. I

[0:27]absolutely love this. They actually made

[0:30]me two. So, I'll show off the second

[0:31]one, too, cuz I like them both. This

[0:33]one's got more reds in it and stuff.

[0:35]It's like a little brighter, but this

[0:37]one is very dark. And

[0:40]actually going to wear these now. I feel

[0:42]kind of like a hippie. But I just had to

[0:44]show them off. I can share this with

[0:46]them and say thank you. Amazing. Just

[0:49]truly awesome of you. And my first new

[0:53]shirt in

[0:54]like a year and a half. I haven't bought

[0:56]clothes. I bought some clothes right

[0:58]before I moved into my RV and let you

[1:00]know I haven't since. So, really cool.

[1:05]I popped my bed, so my keys were laying

[1:07]on there. I had a queen-sized air

[1:09]mattress and that popped today. It's

[1:12]just a little tiny hole, but I'm not

[1:14]sure how to fix it. So, I got out my

[1:15]little twinssized one. Just put that up.

[1:18]It's actually not a terrible thing cuz

[1:20]it'll make it a little bit easier to use

[1:22]my laptop now that I can't use the

[1:23]desktop. It's a little bit messy in

[1:26]here, but I guess I'll give a bit of a

[1:27]tour of my life right now. So, I built

[1:30]this desk. That's the air mattress down

[1:33]there. I built this desk and you can see

[1:35]that I never refined it. Like I um I

[1:38]would like to, you know, sand it down

[1:40]and um paint it or dye it. What's the

[1:44]word for this? Stain it. I'd like to

[1:46]stain it, make it look nice if I kept it

[1:47]if I had, you know, if I was able to

[1:49]keep this RV, too. I mean, this is

[1:50]unknown. So, um, but there's my desktop

[1:54]up there. No GPU, so it doesn't work.

[1:56]Um, till I get another one.

[1:59]Um, it's okay though. Got a laptop can

[2:02]still work, you know.

[2:05]Um, let's see what else. Now that I got

[2:08]internet again, my little Alexa device

[2:10]over here. This thing right there. So

[2:12]important. I play my music, you know,

[2:14]when I'm in here. And I really miss that

[2:17]thing.

[2:19]I wear headphones a lot and I go through

[2:22]a bunch of them. I go through them, you

[2:24]know, every couple months I have to get

[2:25]another pair of them because they just

[2:27]break it down so fast because I listen

[2:29]to music so much. And well,

[2:34]turned out that this thing I just got

[2:35]another pair, but it turned out this

[2:37]piece here um it's a um an adapter I

[2:41]think. I don't know what you would call

[2:42]it, but it converts it from an aux to a

[2:45]USBC. I think that's the problem. one of

[2:48]them is not working. So, um, the USBC

[2:53]headphones are a lot more expensive. You

[2:55]know, I don't have a lot of money, so I

[2:56]go cheap and I've been buying these

[2:58]little $5 headphones for quite a while

[3:01]now.

[3:03]Um,

[3:06]so it's like 5:00. Um,

[3:12]I'm in kind of a strange mood. I

[3:16]feel sorrowful a little bit, I guess,

[3:18]might be the word. I'm not sure. I I'm

[3:21]not very good at describing emotions,

[3:23]but this one I'm feeling in my chest and

[3:26]I hadn't for quite a long time. So, just

[3:30]kind of sitting with that. Very capable

[3:32]of doing that. My emotions are never

[3:34]turned off my whole life. I'm fully

[3:36]integrated. Like I say, no

[3:37]compartmentalization. So, emotions are

[3:40]none. This one feels like remorse.

[3:45]Today I posted something in a Facebook

[3:47]group um a local one about what happened

[3:50]to me at Honeyman. Um to bring attention

[3:54]to it locally.

[3:56]Um

[4:00]because I feel that like at this point

[4:01]maybe this is the only way um anything

[4:04]happens.

[4:06]There has to be accountability

[4:09]because I was abused. This is the

[4:11]correct word for what happened to me

[4:13]over two months. I was abused

[4:16]and not

[4:19]indirectly, deliberately targeted

[4:23]by two people

[4:26]who should not be in their positions

[4:28]because they they've shown their

[4:30]character. They've shown what kind of

[4:32]people they are.

[4:34]And I know that it wasn't just me

[4:35]because

[4:37]as soon as they threw me out,

[4:41]man, it it felt like every single

[4:43]volunteer that I ran into over the next

[4:45]couple weeks had a story about them. So,

[4:48]it's not isolated. This is who they are,

[4:51]which means the institution knows this

[4:54]and is protecting them anyways. And I

[4:57]still can't believe that the volunteer

[5:00]coordinator

[5:02]swept this aside the way she did because

[5:05]she came from a university where she was

[5:07]a DEI coordinator, which meant

[5:10]protecting people just like me

[5:14]and she took whatever she learned from

[5:16]there and weaponized it against me in

[5:18]her new role. And I can't think of a

[5:22]more unethical,

[5:24]deeply problematic thing because it

[5:26]means she knows better.

[5:29]And I know that she knows better because

[5:30]during my call with her

[5:34]when I told her that Ryan had told me to

[5:36]eat class, she was shocked. I heard it

[5:38]in her voice. She complet she quickly

[5:40]contained it and went right back to the

[5:43]script. But there was a moment where she

[5:46]was a human being with me. And that's

[5:48]the problem that I had with Honeyman

[5:50]over two months is that they never

[5:52]interacted with me like a human being.

[5:57]Not Alison, not Lisa, the director, none

[6:01]of them. Because they're all calculating

[6:05]whatever it is they calculate instead of

[6:08]just approaching a human being like a

[6:10]human being.

[6:13]So, I just I feel a little bit

[6:14]remorseful

[6:16]because it

[6:18]I shouldn't be this way

[6:22]because there's no way for Alice and

[6:24]Lisa not to know that what happened to

[6:26]me was abuse. They have to know. The

[6:29]pattern is too clear.

[6:31]I documented it and I and I gave it to

[6:34]them

[6:37]without any pressure, without asking for

[6:39]anything

[6:41]and they still ignored it. And

[6:51]that's

[6:54]that's where I run out of words.

[6:59]But I can't can't focus on this all the

[7:02]time. I have a life that I'm building,

[7:05]you know, but I also can't ignore it

[7:08]because there are other people being

[7:10]harmed.

[7:17]And that's on you, Lisa.

[7:20]You need to act like a leader.

[7:30]There's a lot I need to do. I'm in a

[7:32]transitional stage in my life.

[7:37]I think my archive is is fairly

[7:39]complete. It's in a good state where I

[7:42]can just let it sit for a while.

[7:49]This is how I think about it now. But I

[7:53]I'm not saying that, you know, I

[7:57]or feel this way tomorrow. I don't know

[7:59]because I'm still metabolizing what

[8:01]happened to me because what happened to

[8:02]me was abuse

[8:06]and that abuse has been extended into

[8:10]other fields into

[8:13]into the silencing and

[8:18]the lack of accountability.

[8:24]That's not something you just get over.

[8:26]That's something you process. That's

[8:28]something you metabolize.

[8:32]But I will, you know,

[8:36]it's a beautiful day out here.

[8:40]We're in a pretty good um situation

[8:43]right now.

[8:46]I'm only here for a couple months and

[8:47]then I'll be heading somewhere else.

[8:51]Um maybe I'll talk about it then.

[8:55]Um

[8:57]I'm not ready to yet.

[8:59]Completely different situation in a

[9:01]couple months.

[9:03]For a couple months though I have

[9:06]interesting an interesting um situation.

[9:12]Maybe one day I can talk about it.

[9:14]That's

[9:15]the same problem that I had when I was

[9:17]at honeymoon. It's, you know, where you

[9:20]draw the line can can't really talk

[9:22]about your life as freely. That's it's

[9:25]hard for me because I don't

[9:26]compartmentalize.

[9:28]I want to be authentic. I want to share

[9:30]my life authentically.

[9:33]Um,

[9:39]but this is who I always been. This is

[9:41]how I've always been.

[9:43]Same honeyman. I understood the rules

[9:47]and I didn't break them.

[9:52][Music]

[9:54]Anyway, thank you for the shirts.

Summary

rswfire shows off two custom tie-dye shirts made by a guest who drove to his campground to deliver them - his first new clothing in a year and a half. He gives a brief tour of his RV setup, noting his queen air mattress popped and he switched to a twin, his desktop computer lacks a GPU, and he goes through cheap headphones frequently. He describes feeling sorrowful and remorseful after posting about his Honeyman experience in a local Facebook group to bring attention to what he identifies as deliberate abuse by two staff members over two months. He explains that multiple volunteers shared similar stories about these individuals after his removal, indicating a pattern the institution protects. He specifically criticizes the volunteer coordinator who came from a DEI background but weaponized that knowledge against him. rswfire states his archive is complete and he's in a transitional phase, planning to move somewhere else in a couple months to a situation he cannot yet discuss publicly.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission holds dual architecture: gratitude-based community bonding through gift reception alongside continued metabolization of institutional abuse. The field demonstrates capacity for simultaneous appreciation and accountability processing without compartmentalization, maintaining coherent integration across emotional registers.

Dominant Language

abusehuman beingmetabolizingaccountabilityauthenticcompartmentalizepatterndocumented

Symbolic Elements

giftthresholdtransitiondocumentation

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
integrated
•
processing
•
sovereign

Subsystems

•
emotional
•
relational
•
ethical
•
infrastructural

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration