Declining LGBTQ Organization Referral and Blocking Friend

Speaker is living on an ATV campground, dealing with daily navigation of toxic masculinity from other campers. Recently visited the ocean and felt dissonance upon returning to current location. Actively building something sustainable for long-term life support.

Energetic Signature

resolute

Field State

boundary fortification

Orientation

away from institutional capture

01K0N3WDK85ZX6YXHCPC138CRS

July 20, 2025

6:11

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]So, one one of my oldest friends texted

[0:03]me this morning saying that he wanted to

[0:05]connect me with some LGBTQ

[0:09]organization to get help.

[0:12]And I respectfully declined because I

[0:15]don't center my sexuality. My identity

[0:18]is not based on who I [ __ ] It's a lot

[0:22]more than that.

[0:24]I don't stand in opposition to

[0:29]the rest of the world wants to frame me

[0:31]that way. I don't. My sexuality is a

[0:34]part of me. It's not the main part of

[0:36]me. It's just

[0:38]it's a it's a central configuration.

[0:40]It's

[0:46]it's the dumbest [ __ ] thing to

[0:47]center. You don't see straight men

[0:49]centering their sexuality. They just go

[0:52]about their lives. They like who they

[0:54]like just like I do. People, everybody

[0:57]else centers my sexuality. I don't

[1:01]because that's

[1:03]that's putting me into a box, making me

[1:06]smaller,

[1:08]trying to make me palatable,

[1:10]trying to make me match somebody else's

[1:12]idea of what being gay means. And I

[1:17]don't like it. I've never liked it.

[1:22]I am not something you can commodify.

[1:26]I'm not something that you

[1:29]get to project

[1:31]your assumptions on to. I am a whole lot

[1:34][ __ ] more than just my sexuality.

[1:39]In my younger days, I've been homeless

[1:43]and I did connect with those

[1:45]institutions and they're helpful and

[1:48]needed for

[1:51]especially for for gay youth who grow up

[1:54]in a culture that that rejects us and

[1:57]they need resources and they need help.

[2:01]I am a middle-aged man at this point.

[2:03]I'm nearly 50 years old. those

[2:05]institutions don't really have much

[2:07]interest in me. I don't think to begin

[2:09]with. I I know that a lot of those

[2:12]places actually do have like age limits

[2:14]and stuff like that.

[2:17]And I just don't want to get entangled

[2:22]and and you know more institutional

[2:24]nonsense.

[2:26]So, I declined respectfully and he

[2:28]didn't drop it and he got really rude

[2:30]with me and basically told me I'm

[2:34]ungrateful and that

[2:37]I need rescuing

[2:40]because I've asked for help on this

[2:42]channel.

[2:44]No, I do not need rescuing. I need

[2:47]reciprocal support from people who

[2:49]actually give a [ __ ] about who I am as a

[2:51]person. Not who they think I am, not who

[2:53]they project on to me, but who I [ __ ]

[2:55]am.

[2:56]who see what I'm trying to build to give

[2:58]a [ __ ] about that.

[3:02]I work hard. I am working on something

[3:05]that matters to me.

[3:09]And people who really care about you,

[3:12]they do not try to force you into a

[3:15]frame that you don't belong in. They

[3:17]don't try to shape you. They let you be

[3:20]yourself. That's what real friendship

[3:23]is. So when he started getting hostile

[3:25]with me, I blocked him. Known this

[3:27]person for decades.

[3:29]I don't tolerate that stuff. You have

[3:32]got to approach me cleanly or not at

[3:35]all.

[3:38]I do not know

[3:43]how I'm going to get from where I am now

[3:46]to where I'm trying to go. But I trust

[3:48]my path. I trust myself. I trust that

[3:52]there are others out there who

[3:54]understand what I'm saying,

[3:58]who have the ability to help and want to

[4:00]in a clean way.

[4:05]There's one person on my channel who has

[4:08]helped me several times, even without

[4:10]being asked.

[4:12]I'm going to be, you know, I don't want

[4:14]to just name names or anything. So, this

[4:17]person has never overreached

[4:21]I respect them for this. They're

[4:24]witnessing my journey and choosing to be

[4:25]a part of it

[4:27]without overstepping.

[4:30]We live in a culture where people don't

[4:32]do that very often.

[4:35]But those are the kind of people I allow

[4:36]around me. I don't allow distortion.

[4:47]I like who I am.

[4:49]I am not ashamed of my sexuality.

[4:52]Clearly, I'm a very pierced man here.

[4:57]I don't hide it. I see how people react

[5:00]to it, especially where I live right now

[5:03]because I live on an ATV campground

[5:05]surrounded by toxic masculinity often.

[5:09]There are some cool guys also, but you

[5:12]can just see it in the looks they give

[5:14]you or the way

[5:16]they just won't even engage with you the

[5:19]way they would with anyone else.

[5:23]And it's a lot to have to to navigate

[5:26]every day, especially in my my

[5:29]situation, my position right now. And I

[5:31]don't want to be here forever because it

[5:33]it feels misaligned.

[5:35]When I went to the ocean yesterday, I

[5:37]had a really good time on my way back. I

[5:39]felt it the second I started entering

[5:41]this place. The dissonance, the

[5:43]distortion.

[5:48]I will get myself out of this situation.

[5:52]I'm building something that will sustain

[5:54]my life for the rest of it. But I do

[5:56]need help. And I'm not ashamed for

[5:58]asking for it because I'm asking

[6:00]cleanly. If others can't approach me in

[6:03]a clean way, that's not my problem.

[6:05]That's something for them to sit with.

[6:08]So I'm saying this morning

Summary

rswfire received a text from an old friend offering to connect him with an LGBTQ organization for help. He respectfully declined, explaining that he doesn't center his sexuality as his primary identity and prefers not to be boxed into categories or institutional frameworks. When the friend became hostile and called him ungrateful, saying he needs rescuing, rswfire blocked him after decades of friendship. He clarified that he doesn't need rescuing but rather reciprocal support from people who understand his actual work and goals. He acknowledged one channel supporter who has helped multiple times without overstepping boundaries. rswfire described living on an ATV campground surrounded by toxic masculinity, feeling the dissonance when returning from the ocean, and his commitment to building something sustainable while asking for help cleanly.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission demonstrates sovereign boundary maintenance against institutional capture attempts disguised as care. The field is calibrating recognition protocols - distinguishing between clean reciprocal support and distorted rescue frameworks that reduce identity to commodifiable categories.

Dominant Language

cleanlyreciprocal supportdistortionoverstepping/overreachwitnessingmisalignedcommodify

Symbolic Elements

boxframethresholdoceandissonance

Ontological States

•
sovereign
•
coherent
•
discerning
•
transitional

Subsystems

•
ethical
•
relational
•
cognitive
•
infrastructural

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1080 × 1920 @ 30fps

Duration

6:11

Bitrate

2307 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028