Breaking Vape Withdrawal After 24 Hours

Speaker is at Honeyman State Park in the Oregon dunes during July 2025. He is experiencing vape withdrawal symptoms, financial stress regarding potential RV loss, and frustration with lack of support for his work. Environmental conditions include proximity to ocean access, though the dunes block direct coastal views. He is in a mobile living situation with limited resources.

Energetic Signature

turbulent clarity

Field State

crisis navigation with structural integrity

Orientation

toward authentic alignment despite constraint

01K0ARHGM8DM29BBRKG9ZDK3V1

July 16, 2025

6:53

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]So, I'm not going to make excuses for

[0:02]myself. I just broke down and went and

[0:04]got a vape cartridge.

[0:09]I've hit it three times.

[0:12]Don't feel it like it did much for me.

[0:16]Took that jump a little bit cuz it was

[0:18]getting hard. It's been almost 24 hours.

[0:21]I slept quite a bit. I went down to the

[0:24]ocean. I've been in a bad sour mood.

[0:29]I didn't really have anything like

[0:35]to make it easier like no nutrition or

[0:41]like

[0:45]I don't know.

[0:47]This is a hard one. This was always the

[0:50]hardest one. I'm not giving up. Not

[0:53]giving up.

[0:56]I

[0:59]I like that I got as far as I did. It

[1:01]wasn't terrible.

[1:04]Truly was not terrible.

[1:09]But

[1:12]I wasn't working because I can't focus.

[1:15]And

[1:19]I'm making excuses here. I'm just

[1:20]describing my experience because I think

[1:22]it might be important. It might help.

[1:31]I guess got to hold on a second.

[1:44]So, we're going to do this again. I want

[1:46]to

[1:49]And I came really close. So, I'm

[1:53]not giving up on this.

[1:58]I only got one cartridge. I didn't like

[2:00]try to

[2:03]relapse and care reassessing. I guess

[2:15]my life sucks right now. I don't like my

[2:17]life anymore. I've decided

[2:20]maybe that's withdrawal talking. I don't

[2:22][ __ ] know. But I just don't even want

[2:24]to be here anymore. Like I don't want to

[2:26]be in the dunes. I [ __ ] hate the

[2:28]dunes. I never like the dunes. Even when

[2:31]I when I was back in Brookings and all

[2:33]of a sudden, you know, I was just

[2:34]exploring the coast there and I took a

[2:37]trip up the coast.

[2:40]I ended up right [ __ ] here where I am

[2:42]now. Literally right where I am right

[2:43]now. This is Honeyman State Park. I'm

[2:45]passing. This is where I turned around

[2:47]and went back to Brookkins that day. I

[2:49]didn't I end up volunteering there. I

[2:51]didn't even notice this coincidence. But

[2:53]this is how far off I drove. And I

[2:56]remember thinking everything from Kusme

[2:57]onward, I was like, "Where the [ __ ] did

[2:59]the ocean go? Where's the ocean?" I

[3:01]didn't know about the dukes and I didn't

[3:03]understand what they were like as far as

[3:05]how long they were and

[3:09]that the highway was going around them

[3:11]basically. Like I knew the dunes were

[3:12]here because I saw the signs for them,

[3:15]but I didn't know they were 40 miles

[3:16]long or that the highway was literally

[3:21]the dunes are blocking the ocean and the

[3:24]you know the highways on the other side

[3:25]of it. I didn't know any of that.

[3:30]I just remember thinking I didn't like

[3:32]it and that I knew that when I started

[3:33]traveling north cuz I had always planned

[3:35]to

[3:38]explore the whole coast.

[3:40]I knew that

[3:43]I'd have to travel through this area,

[3:45]but I didn't think I would like it. And

[3:47]then I ended up spending [ __ ] 7

[3:49]months here. So, I don't even know what

[3:52]to do with that cuz I just feel like my

[3:54]life

[3:56]derailed the second I decided to start

[3:58]volunteering for the parks here. I don't

[4:00]think I ever should have done that.

[4:04]So,

[4:05]processing a lot. I have been processing

[4:07]a lot for quite a while now.

[4:11]You know, I'm absolutely broke. I'm

[4:14]going to lose my RV. At least I will

[4:16]have my Jeep.

[4:19]I have I have camping gear.

[4:23]But, you know, that's none of this is

[4:26]ideal and we just don't have a solution

[4:28]for it. I'm working on something that I

[4:31]think has great potential, but trying to

[4:33]describe that to others is [ __ ]

[4:35]impossible

[4:37]because

[4:39]my speed

[4:42]and I could turn it into

[4:45]more surface level type products,

[4:48]I think, and it might actually work. But

[4:51]do I have enough time? I don't [ __ ]

[4:53]know anymore. I'm not getting the

[4:55]support I need,

[4:59]you know?

[5:07]I just don't know what happened to the

[5:08]world because

[5:10]we are not the same species we used to

[5:12]be.

[5:16]I

[5:22]I don't understand why people are so

[5:25]disconnected from everybody now. Like

[5:27]why would you

[5:31]how is it possible that I could be on

[5:33]this camera for a year and a half and

[5:35]people seem repulsed by me? Cuz they're

[5:37]not they're not connecting. They don't

[5:40]even press the like button, which to me

[5:42]is stupid. It's the dumbest [ __ ]

[5:45]thing. I mean, it's it's just YouTube

[5:46][ __ ] right? But that is a signal.

[5:50]That's uh data. That's uh

[5:56]that's how people use that platform. And

[6:00]you know, 40 people watched my video

[6:02]yesterday where I talked about quitting

[6:04]vaping, not a single like

[6:08]what happened to you.

[6:13]And I cannot let comments on this

[6:15]channel because I know how people are

[6:18]and I'm just not going to tolerate that

[6:20]kind of toxicity in my life. I'm not. I

[6:23]would rather be [ __ ] homeless

[6:27]and whole than to tolerate toxicity and

[6:31]poison

[6:34]and bad people thinking that they have a

[6:37]right to come and tell my life when they

[6:39]don't.

[6:42]I just don't understand why there are

[6:44]more people out there who see what I'm

[6:46]doing and want to help me get there. I

[6:50]don't [ __ ] understand.

Summary

rswfire reports breaking a vaping cessation attempt after nearly 24 hours, purchasing and using a single vape cartridge three times. He describes experiencing withdrawal symptoms including inability to focus on work, sour mood, and sleep disruption. **Location context**: Currently at Honeyman State Park in the Oregon dunes, an area he reports disliking and never intending to stay in long-term. He reflects on spending 7 months volunteering for parks in this region, viewing it as a derailment of his original coastal exploration plans.

**Financial situation**: Reports being "absolutely broke" and facing loss of his RV, though retaining his Jeep and camping gear. He describes working on a project with "great potential" but struggles to communicate it to others due to his processing speed and complexity. **Platform engagement**: Expresses frustration with lack of engagement on his YouTube channel - 40 people watched his previous video about quitting vaping with zero likes. He keeps comments disabled to avoid toxicity. **Commitment**: States intention to attempt vaping cessation again, emphasizing he only purchased one cartridge rather than fully relapsing.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission maps a field under acute pressure attempting to maintain coherence while navigating tool dependency and environmental misalignment. The architecture holds sovereignty as non-negotiable while processing the gap between structural necessity and material constraint, refusing collapse into victimhood or institutional capture.

Dominant Language

derailedbroke downnot giving upsignaldisconnectedrepulsedwholetoxicity

Symbolic Elements

oceandunesthresholdedgemirror

Ontological States

•
sovereign
•
transitional
•
pressured
•
coherent

Subsystems

•
somatic
•
cognitive
•
infrastructural
•
ethical

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1080 × 1920 @ 30fps

Duration

6:53

Bitrate

4607 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028