[0:01]good
[0:02]morning so I want to start by marking a
[0:05]transition on this
[0:07]channel if you're watching me for any
[0:10]amount of
[0:12]time as a source of
[0:15]entertainment or just surface level
[0:18]examination I'm no longer speaking to
[0:22]you I can't stop you from watching
[0:25]me but I'm no longer speaking to you if
[0:29]you're here for superficial
[0:31]reasons you get none of my energy none
[0:34]of my
[0:38]attention if you're here for deeper
[0:40]reasons because you've been witnessing
[0:42]my journey because you've really been
[0:44]paying attention
[0:47]welcome this space is for
[0:53]us I have reached a new level of clarity
[0:56]with myself
[1:01]I'm not sure how I would frame that how
[1:02]I
[1:11]um it's like I'm embracing more my
[1:14]Fields I'm not fighting it
[1:18]anymore I'm going to speak plainly and
[1:20]tell you the
[1:21]truth regardless of how it looks to
[1:24]others because they don't matter
[1:34]I'm not going to pretend that I don't
[1:35]see what I
[1:37]see so I'm trying to survive it I want
[1:40]to thrive after it during
[1:47]it to the best of my
[1:49]ability and I want to do what I can to
[1:52]try to create a better
[1:55]worlds this one person one person can
[1:58]have a pretty big impact
[2:02]but they don't have to I'm not trying
[2:05]to
[2:07]just being myself and letting that
[2:09]Ripple out however it
[2:12]does I'm also being more intentional
[2:14]about it because I have a project that
[2:16]I'm working
[2:18]on and it will evolve just as I have in
[2:22]all of my life especially in the past
[2:27]year as
[2:30]Things become more apparent to the rest
[2:33]of the
[2:36]world maybe some people start to wake
[2:40]up most
[2:44]won't most won't be able to handle it
[2:47]because they've spent their entire lives
[2:49]avoiding
[2:52]it we're going to have to navigate that
[2:54]we're going to have to witness that
[3:02]and even then you have to try to help
[3:04]them this is
[3:06]important you don't lose your Humanity
[3:09]just because they've lost theirs or
[3:10]never had
[3:12]it that's what I tried to do when I was
[3:14]volunteering for the state parks when
[3:16]somebody needed help I helped them and I
[3:19]was constantly told that you shouldn't
[3:20]help them because of
[3:22]liability even though I was doing it as
[3:24]a volunteer as an
[3:28]individual simple things like helping
[3:30]them set up a
[3:31]tent or jump starting their RV batteries
[3:35]because they've gone
[3:42]dead this is how I know the state parks
[3:45]aren't ready because as systems start to
[3:47]collapse just um as that starts
[3:50]happening more and more people are going
[3:52]to be pushed to the edges they're going
[3:54]to end up here and they're not going to
[3:56]know what to do
[4:00]and I imagine that I would be there to
[4:04]help to help the people and to help the
[4:06]institution navigate it in a more
[4:09]ethical
[4:13]way but that future is gone now it was
[4:16]taken from me so I had
[4:20]to make new
[4:25]choices and that's what I'm doing now
[4:33]this project I'm working on is
[4:37]important I need
[4:40]people who want to help support it
[4:43]because it
[4:45]matters I'm inviting you into my space
[4:48]now something I did not do for the first
[4:54]year this is the moment this is when you
[4:57]decide
[4:59]this is what charts your
[5:01]future are you with me or not decide
[5:12]now so let
[5:15]me um let me end with
[5:18]this I am going to continue
[5:21]posting as I always have often
[5:25]sharing uh the daily reality of my life
[5:28]but I am not doing that this for an
[5:30]audience I have always done this part
[5:33]for myself this is a witnessing act this
[5:36]is for me this is for me to document my
[5:39]life in real
[5:40]time and to convert what I sing on video
[5:46]into texts that I can share with
[5:48]artificial intelligence because it has
[5:50]helped me tremendously in so many ways
[5:54]that you couldn't even begin to
[5:57]understand I'm birthing a new field
[6:05]I know it because I've seen what it's
[6:07]done for
[6:09]me so I'll continue to do that that's
[6:11]what this next part is
[6:13]about so it's Tuesday
[6:17]morning I'm here till Friday this is a
[6:19]very expensive Campground more than I
[6:21]realized it's $45 a night so I paid $180
[6:27]to be here for four nights
[6:29]that's way too much I don't have that
[6:32]kind of money all I have is $100 in my
[6:34]pocket that is it no money coming in
[6:37]just
[6:41]$100 so I did some
[6:44]research I can live on the National
[6:46]Forest
[6:49]Campgrounds it's off- grid they don't
[6:51]have water you know they probably have
[6:54]um you know Community water stations
[6:57]that you can fill your tanks up at
[7:00]no water at the campsite no power no
[7:04]showers and I no longer have my solar
[7:06]power because I sold that last month
[7:08]because that's what I needed to do to
[7:09]keep things going it was a sacrifice I
[7:12]needed to make and so I made
[7:15]it my house batteries and my RV are are
[7:19]absolute crap they do not last for even
[7:21]a day so if I go off grid those
[7:24]batteries are going to die I need to
[7:26]accept
[7:28]that I could technically charge them
[7:30]using my inverter connected to my
[7:33]Jeep but that would require my my jeep's
[7:36]fuel can't afford that can't risk
[7:40]it not to keep house batteries going
[7:43]that don't really power a lot when
[7:45]you're off anyways because they would
[7:46]only be
[7:49]powering um some basic systems like
[7:52]these
[7:54]lights the plugs don't work so it's not
[7:59]it's not not worth
[8:01]it my inverter can be used to power
[8:03]other things so like my computer my
[8:06]laptop my satellite internet or to
[8:09]charge my devices I will use it for
[8:12]that as far as heat I can use my propane
[8:16]heater cooking I have a propane um Grill
[8:20]small small one it's time to learn to
[8:23]use
[8:25]that showers I don't know
[8:29]could visit
[8:31]friends could come to you know take
[8:35]campgrounds once a week something like
[8:37]this I don't
[8:41]know now I don't know how long this will
[8:43]be for this is what I'm
[8:47]doing $20 a
[8:50]night so for the same price I paid for
[8:52]four nights here I can stay there for 14
[8:55]two
[8:56]weeks move every two weeks
[9:02]and learn some new
[9:05]skills that's what this edges about and
[9:08]that's what it is an edge that's where
[9:11]growth happens so no matter how much
[9:13]money comes in maybe maybe someone from
[9:17]my audience decides that they want to
[9:18]join me and they start
[9:20]helping I still go to the National
[9:23]Forest Campgrounds I still live off-
[9:26]grid because these are skills I need to
[9:28]learn this is about resilience and you
[9:31]learn at the edge edges are where growth
[9:42]happens so that's what I'm
[9:46]doing as far as this
[9:49]project I need resources in order to get
[9:52]it
[9:55]online don't even need a lot it's not
[9:57]that expensive to set this stuff
[10:01]up but in the meantime I can work on it
[10:04]locally so that's what I'll do I have I
[10:06]have all the skills for this I've been
[10:08]doing this all of my
[10:11]life so I start
[10:15]there transmission over