[0:01]So, I'm just sitting up here on my
[0:04]roof. Been up here for a while, just
[0:08]cleaning it. And then I sat down and
[0:09]just started watching the sunset and all
[0:11]the people, all the ATVs coming and
[0:13]going through the gate. This is an
[0:16]awesome place to just exist and
[0:20]be. It took me like six months to get up
[0:23]here. You know, it's still a little bit
[0:25]scary, but I think I've had a lot of
[0:27]practice at this cuz like when I was at
[0:29]Cape
[0:30]Blanco, standing on the
[0:33]edge, that cliff, looking at the
[0:36]ocean, I learned to be one with it, to
[0:40]just exist in that moment. I'm doing
[0:42]that
[0:43]now. This might become a practice for me
[0:46]because really like this.
[0:52]There's a lot of activity here this
[0:53]weekend. It's Saturday
[0:57]night. Everyone's pretty much out on the
[1:00]dunes if they have ATVs, I think. But
[1:02]the sun is already set, so dusk is
[1:08]coming.
[1:10]Um, a lot of kids around playing, riding
[1:13]their bikes around the
[1:17]loop, people just existing, doing their
[1:21]thing.
[1:22]It's
[1:27]cool. I've changed so much since I
[1:29]started this journey.
[1:32]I I started out
[1:36]like sometimes afraid to leave my RV and
[1:39]do things outside because I didn't want
[1:41]people seeing me, you know,
[1:45]and I was afraid to be witnessed even
[1:48]though I had a YouTube channel.
[1:51]It kind of gave me courage though.
[1:53]Taught me to
[1:56]just taught me to just embrace every
[1:58]part of
[2:04]myself. I don't know why because nobody
[2:06]really liked me on my
[2:08]channel. It's constantly getting
[2:11]advice, constant like trolling and crap.
[2:15]But I just pushed back against all of
[2:18]it. I didn't accept any of it. And I
[2:21]shed all the the society had
[2:23]tried to put on me. And here I am now
[2:25]sitting on my
[2:28]roof, at peace with my
[2:31]life,
[2:33]truly loving what I've created for
[2:36]myself, excited about where it's going.
[2:42]Even though I think we're in for some
[2:44]hard
[2:46]times, I know I'm ready for
[2:49]it. I know I'll still find moments of
[2:53]joy, moments of peace like this
[3:00]one. Cuz I did the work. I did the very
[3:03]hard
[3:06]work of crafting myself into somebody
[3:09]who could survive it.
[3:15]And then I let my heart open up when it
[3:17]was
[3:19]time. Reintegrated that part of myself
[3:25]too. And now it's open. It's open to
[3:28]connection, friendships,
[3:30]lovers,
[3:36]whatever. I have a very good life.
[3:42]Truly I do.