[0:00]good morning YouTube so I've been going
[0:03]through my old
[0:04]videos updating the metadata on them
[0:07]using using Cloud the AI to help me with
[0:09]that cuz I kind of came up with this
[0:11]format a template that I really like
[0:13]that kind of charts my progress over
[0:15]time and chose the patterns and the
[0:17]things that I'm trying to teach other
[0:19]people all of it so you might want to
[0:22]check that out maybe it was it's very
[0:25]interesting to me to look at the start
[0:28]of my journey cuz
[0:33]man I mean who I am is is so much there
[0:37]like I do say a lot how I've changed and
[0:39]all that but it's it's still me you know
[0:42]I'm just learning to find my voice
[0:45]and embrace who I am without letting
[0:48]other people try to to Bud in and and
[0:50]you know tell me what my truth should be
[0:52]all of that you know it's just an
[0:54]awesome thing to watch I actually really
[0:56]enjoyed watching it I also have a
[0:58]playlist for my Journey from Kentucky to
[1:01]Oregon cuzz I think that's one of the
[1:02]most important parts of my channel is
[1:05]that month I spent getting
[1:07]here because I had finally done all the
[1:10]work I needed to do in order
[1:12]to feel ready and then I didn't and I
[1:16]had a amazing
[1:18]time I mean there's just so much I saw
[1:21]so many cool things along the way I
[1:23]experienced so much like I think that is
[1:25]one of the most transformative parts of
[1:27]my journey and
[1:28]even I'm saying that knowing how much
[1:31]organ itself changed me you know so I
[1:34]don't know I guess I really like my
[1:36]channel I never really understood why
[1:38]people don't seem to watch it I truly
[1:40]don't get it because I think there's so
[1:42]much there that's worth watching that's
[1:44]entertaining that's that provides wisdom
[1:46]to people that keeps them engaged like
[1:48]so many things I don't understand
[1:52]why my channel never really picked up
[1:55]why I got so much abuse from
[1:58]people why I couldn't just have a good
[2:00]experience on here sharing my life with
[2:02]others why everyone just had to try to
[2:04]tear it down all the
[2:05]time or they couldn't just accept me for
[2:08]who I am you know which just caused me
[2:10]all kinds
[2:12]of caused me to have a reaction to it
[2:15]because I get on this camera and I think
[2:17]about what I'm going to have to deal
[2:18]with as a result from just posting a
[2:21]video like I just you know I have to be
[2:23]thinking
[2:25]about what to you know what I what just
[2:29]I don't know how to put that into words
[2:30]right now I kind of stumming over my
[2:32]words there I don't
[2:34]care here's the bottom line I'm going
[2:36]through a transition right
[2:38]now couple of days from now I move hour
[2:41]and a half north in my next part of
[2:43]Oregon coast where I'm going to be
[2:45]volunteering on a campground for up to
[2:47]three months where I'm going to be
[2:49]integrating work back into my life where
[2:51]just a whole bunch of stuff is changing
[2:53]like this is just the next evolution of
[2:55]my channel and I don't want it to be the
[2:58]same way as in the past I don't don't
[3:00]like being angry I don't like being
[3:02]feeling defensive I don't like any of
[3:05]that and so I decided you know what I'll
[3:06]try to get my channel monetized and then
[3:08]I'll just pay all everything and I still
[3:10]feel that way because I don't want to
[3:12]deal with the randomness of YouTube at
[3:15]the same
[3:16]time you know I'm not trying to totally
[3:19]limit my growth and I'm not trying to
[3:22]prevent people from being able to watch
[3:24]my journey from being able to witness it
[3:26]it's a very hard balance to find and I'm
[3:28]still working through that and if you're
[3:30]here and you actually like me and you
[3:33]you know you like what you're seeing I'm
[3:35]leaving comments open on my latest
[3:37]videos I'm giving you guys a chance to
[3:39]interact with
[3:43]me at the end of the day
[3:46]though you know
[3:51]I I love my journey I don't need other
[3:54]people to love it
[3:55]also I just don't I hope you do though
[4:00]Happy New Year