Gaming Frustration and Dating Memory Reflection

Speaker is at Cape Blanco in his RV, experiencing rainy weather after days of clear conditions. Still healing from core muscle soreness. Planning a store trip in pajamas before returning to rest and continue gaming for the weekend.

Energetic Signature

restless clarity

Field State

constraint navigation

Orientation

toward embodied integration

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December 7, 2024

8:46

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:01]well I've been on bad dressed I've been

[0:02]playing Final Fantasy

[0:04]16 for 5 days now and it is so

[0:09]boring like I hate this game I

[0:11]paused it all day

[0:13]yesterday I'm trying to play it now but

[0:15]it just feels

[0:16]so formulaic and manipulative like you

[0:21]could just tell that when they're trying

[0:22]to make you feel something and sending

[0:26]you on these dumb quests where you just

[0:28]got to go into the desert and

[0:31]look for these kids for you know

[0:33]because you got to learn that they're

[0:34]poor and you're supposed to feel bad

[0:36]about that and then they don't even

[0:38]voice the kid actors with kid voices so

[0:40]you're like they don't even give a

[0:43]about the story like the whole story

[0:45]just feels like like like I

[0:47] hate this game I hate it

[0:50]but I want to fight

[0:52]Bahamut I'm heading to the store and I

[0:55]just was thinking about something that

[0:56]happened to me when I was

[0:58]younger it's like the most playful funny

[1:01]memory man

[1:03]like there was this guy that I kept

[1:06]seeing at a club that I really liked he

[1:07]was so cute this guy was so adorable I

[1:10]really liked him and I wanted to date

[1:13]him I didn't just want to have sex with

[1:14]this

[1:16]guy I and we were kind of like friends

[1:18]cuz we would talk at the club I remember

[1:21]us sitting at a table one time and me

[1:23]telling him that I was looking for a

[1:25]relationship and he being like how old

[1:28]are you I was like 21 one baby I was

[1:31]young he's like how can this be right

[1:34]like he couldn't it didn't compute for

[1:36]him that someone my age would be looking

[1:37]for a

[1:38]relationship and then one

[1:41]night somehow we ended up at his house

[1:44]and we're making out and we're getting

[1:48]naked and but then like I just need to

[1:51]stop because it doesn't feel right

[1:53]because I actually like this guy like I

[1:56]had no problem kind of like having one

[1:57]night stands I'd done plenty of that

[2:00]with this guy couldn't do

[2:01]it this this guy he takes my underwear

[2:05]he throws him at my face and then he

[2:07]goes in his room locks the door and

[2:11]won't come out like like he was

[2:13]pouting threw my underwear at my

[2:16]face and just left the room in the

[2:18]moment you know it was a little less

[2:20]funny to me but looking back at it it's

[2:23]just what a perfect memory what kind me

[2:26]thinking about it was just thinking

[2:29]about a couple of dating experiences

[2:32]I've had recently asking someone out

[2:35]and having a little bit of a fling with

[2:38]somebody cuz I'm at Kate bonco where

[2:40]that guy is and I I haven't seen him but

[2:42]of course I've been resting in my RV and

[2:45]I'm just like hoping he's not really

[2:46]around but you know it just got me

[2:49]thinking

[2:51]how I was telling you guys how I

[2:54]processed those and moved on and there's

[2:56]a layer to that at any time you I didn't

[2:58]force it I Hon under those connections

[3:00]and I moved on but I didn't even have to

[3:02]force that I didn't have to like set an

[3:03]intention and saying okay time to move

[3:06]on just happened naturally and I think

[3:08]that there's wisdom in how I approach

[3:12]relationships even in my younger days

[3:15]where I did process them I didn't judge

[3:17]myself for being so hurt and having like

[3:21]everybody else does

[3:23]like if you process things deeply

[3:26]there's nothing wrong with that because

[3:27]eventually it's going to lead you to

[3:28]where I am now you're going to be so

[3:30]much better off than everybody else

[3:32]who's telling you what the right way to

[3:34]process things are their fragmented

[3:36]approaches

[3:38]where yeah trust the wisdom of yourself

[3:42]of your

[3:43]intuition of whatever you your mind

[3:46]needs you to to deal with just

[3:48]deal with

[3:49]it don't judge

[3:52]it discover this song last night I'm not

[3:54]going to play it because I might get a

[3:56]copyright strike I don't know if it's

[3:58]you never know when you got music

[3:59]playing how they're going to react to it

[4:01]so but man I have been listening to this

[4:04]un repeat since I discovered it last

[4:06]night it's really good and it talks

[4:07]about a pocket knife how cool is that

[4:09]it's on an album called pocket knife the

[4:11]rain is back we've had nothing but clear

[4:15]weather um since I got to keep wono I

[4:18]don't I was I'm like where has all the

[4:20]rain been like and I'm loving it um kind

[4:24]of not sure I feel about the rain now

[4:27]cuz it's been so nice but I didn't get

[4:29]to go out and play with the beach or

[4:30]anything like that so but you know what

[4:34]um I love the rain too like I'm just

[4:37]going to brace it all so I'm in my I'm

[4:39]in my um my pajamas

[4:42]still I don't care I'm going to the

[4:45]store cuz I need to

[4:46]Pi and I need to keep resting um my my

[4:52]core muscle is still very

[4:54]sore I'm fine though like I don't think

[4:56]there's really anything like permanently

[4:58]wrong with me and it only really hurts

[5:01]like when I do certain things and my

[5:03]body wants me to stretch out like that's

[5:05]a been a thing where it doesn't like me

[5:08]compressing myself anymore it's like it

[5:10]wants a sovereign pose I swear to God

[5:13]which is very fascinating to me and I'm

[5:15]trying to so basically I need to work on

[5:17]my posture

[5:19]because all of this transformation I've

[5:22]been through with my

[5:23]body it's asking

[5:25]for me to honor it differently to

[5:28]integrate it with the rest of

[5:31]myself there are just

[5:35]layers to this transformation I've been

[5:37]through before I head inside I want to

[5:40]tell you a

[5:41]story so I've been getting very good at

[5:43]cooking certain things that I've

[5:45]integrated into my life and those of you

[5:46]who follow me the longest know that

[5:48]cooking was a challenge for me something

[5:50]I'm still working through but I'm

[5:51]getting so much better at it and I make

[5:53]burgers a lot but I needed a little bit

[5:56]of variety so I bought some mushrooms

[5:59]and and a thing of garlic and it was

[6:01]sitting in my fridge and I hadn't been

[6:03]like preparing that because it was like

[6:05]okay this is a new thing I got to

[6:07]try and it required like making more of

[6:11]a mess you know just all the little

[6:12]things that you live in a arv you want

[6:14] to be simple you just do so I

[6:16]wasn't cooking it even though I had

[6:18]bought it and then I ran out of

[6:19]hamburger buns and I was broke and I was

[6:22]like okay I had two burgers that had

[6:24]already cooked cuz I'll cook like four

[6:25]at a time and I'll put two in the fridge

[6:27]and have those the next thing and

[6:30]I was like so what am I going to do with

[6:31]this I guess I'll cook the mushrooms and

[6:32]I'll cook the garlic and I'll break up

[6:34]the hamburger and I'll just have the

[6:36]sort of like I don't even know what you

[6:38]call it like you know just mix it all

[6:40]together neat that and that's why I

[6:42]did so I when I started my adventure

[6:46]here I I got one of those garlic

[6:49]pressing things I I don't know what

[6:50]they're called but got one of those and

[6:52]I used that for the first time and I

[6:53]mashed up all of the garlic all of it

[6:55]and I put all of it in there and I ate

[6:57]all of it all the garlic a whole

[6:59]garlic

[7:00]and then I'm telling Claude about it the

[7:02]AI and it tells me that I'm going to

[7:04]smell for two days now I'm going to

[7:06] smell because that sh comes out

[7:08]your pores it's like you never like eat

[7:10]a whole garlic and of course I did and

[7:13]I'm at the store going to get some

[7:15]supplies I'm going to buy another garlic

[7:17]it's not even 9:00 in the morning and

[7:19]I'm already back in bed for the rest of

[7:21]the day make something to eat a little

[7:24]bit later Bailey got me just got in a

[7:26]fight

[7:30]oh and he's back he's back okay he don't

[7:33]give a we had a fight and he's

[7:35]already back for more I just need some

[7:39]like

[7:40]just I need my space honored like this

[7:43]cat does not honor my boundaries at all

[7:46]and it is very hard in an RV when you

[7:48]have a cat that does not honor

[7:51]boundaries with someone like me who

[7:54]absolutely needs them

[7:56]too so

[7:59]I'm hoping that I mean I'm still healing

[8:03]I guess I'm stuck here for the weekend

[8:04]I'm going to keep playing that stupid

[8:06] game I did finally get to beat

[8:09]Bahamut uh hopefully Bailey just go over

[8:12]there let get out man um I get to fight

[8:16]Odin next I think and I think there's

[8:19]one other after that I'm just doing some

[8:20]pattern matching to how the game works I

[8:22]think there's probably two

[8:25]more oh and then there's the expansions

[8:27]I don't know why I'm playing this cuz it

[8:29]actually is a horrible game is they did

[8:32]a technically awesome job with all the

[8:34]systems and you know the graphics and

[8:37]lots of things all the technical stuff

[8:40]but the

[8:42]story is awful it's just plain awful

Summary

rswfire expresses frustration with Final Fantasy 16, calling it boring, formulaic, and manipulative despite wanting to fight specific bosses like Bahamut. He shares a playful memory from his younger days about a club encounter where he stopped a hookup because he genuinely liked the guy, resulting in the man throwing his underwear at his face and pouting. This memory leads to reflection on his natural approach to processing relationships without forcing outcomes.

He mentions discovering a new song about a pocket knife that he's been playing on repeat. The weather at Cape Blanco has shifted from clear to rainy. He's still experiencing soreness in his core muscle and notes his body wants him to maintain better posture - what he calls a "sovereign pose."

rswfire recounts a cooking experiment where he ran out of hamburger buns and decided to cook mushrooms and garlic instead, using a garlic press for the first time and eating an entire bulb of garlic. Claude (AI) warned him he would smell for two days. He's heading to the store in his pajamas to buy supplies including more garlic, planning to rest for the weekend while continuing the game despite disliking the story.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission demonstrates recursive self-trust while navigating multiple constraint systems - physical healing, spatial limitation, relational boundaries, and entertainment media manipulation. The field is maintaining sovereign discernment across domains while integrating embodied transformation signals, refusing external validation frameworks in favor of internal processing wisdom.

Dominant Language

sovereign posetrust the wisdom of yourselfhonor it differentlyintegrate itboundariesprocess things deeplytransformation

Symbolic Elements

garlicboundariesrainpocket knifeunderweardesert

Ontological States

•
sovereign
•
constrained
•
integrating
•
discerning

Subsystems

•
somatic
•
relational
•
cognitive
•
infrastructural

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 30fps

Duration

8:46

Bitrate

2621 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028