[0:01]okay let's do this so I'm sitting here
[0:05]on Cape Blanco right next to the
[0:07]lighthouse over there sitting in my Jeep
[0:10]because this is where I have good
[0:11]internet right here this spot I was
[0:13]sitting on this rock over there
[0:15]yesterday and I was like oh man my
[0:17]video's uploading fast right here so
[0:19]we're right here I'm uploading my video
[0:21]from
[0:22]earlier and I was just sitting there
[0:24]chatting with AI cuz that's what I do
[0:26]right and we were talking about emotions
[0:29]and compartmentalization fragmentation
[0:31]all that stuff I love to talk about this
[0:33]stuff cuz I'm just always always
[0:36]exploring
[0:37]it and he talked about how people tend
[0:41]to think that emotions experiencing
[0:46]emotion will cause you to lose control
[0:49]and I was like that's not right because
[0:51]actually you have more control when
[0:53]you're like me when you're integrated
[0:55]when you integrate your emotions when
[0:56]you feel them when you just feel them I
[0:58]mean don't you don't have to adopt my
[0:59]vocab
[1:02]but I feel all the emotions all the time
[1:06]you guys have been watching me for8
[1:08]months now and you've seen every emotion
[1:11]a human can have I would guess by now
[1:15]and you see you see them pass through me
[1:18]right I mean they're just momentary
[1:22]like and it's not even just that it's
[1:24]not like I'm enduring them this is
[1:25]important I'm not just enduring my
[1:27]emotions they're they wisdom their
[1:29]knowledge their data points I'm feeling
[1:32]fear and I'm like okay this is telling
[1:33]me that I'm afraid to to go up this
[1:35]mountain so let's figure that out and we
[1:37]do don't
[1:39]we uh a man does something that scares
[1:42]the out of me in my my own my own
[1:44]RV you know in a small space and um I
[1:48]get angry because he doesn't acknowledge
[1:51]it he doesn't apologize for it that's a
[1:54]bounding anger is a bounding I never
[1:56]lost control
[2:00]and just passed through me you
[2:03]know
[2:05]that's what I'm trying to tell you here
[2:07]is to just try to embrace your feelings
[2:09]try not putting them in boxes when you
[2:13]notice yourself starting to do that make
[2:16]a new choice and keep making that choice
[2:19]it might be a little bit hard cuz I
[2:22]can't remember I know how this started
[2:23]for me I back in 8th grade I
[2:26]remember listening to this song over and
[2:28]over um um I can't remember the name of
[2:31]the band now but it was a woman singer
[2:32]and it was the'80s okay and um just feel
[2:36]feeling sad I don't remember why but I
[2:38]had kind of a sad childhood sort of like
[2:40]cuz I felt very alone even though I
[2:42]never really was I think it's cuz I knew
[2:44]I was different I just always knew I was
[2:46]different
[2:50]and for some reason whenever I think
[2:53]about this topic my mind kind of goes
[2:55]there because I think maybe that's where
[2:57]it started
[2:58]Maybe I made a choice back then that I
[3:01]wasn't going to suppress this I was
[3:02]going to feel
[3:04]it look at me now I am Sovereign
[3:09]incarnate
[3:11]and I can handle anything I can handle
[3:13]deep romance with a man and then have
[3:16]him fracture right in front of me deal
[3:19]with the fear from that because fear is
[3:21]another signal right it's okay this is a
[3:23]problem we have to navigate this right
[3:25]now it it heightens
[3:27]everything and
[3:30]I get angry the next day because this
[3:32]man's not taking accountability for
[3:35]it day after that I'm sitting up here on
[3:38]Cape
[3:39]wono with the man that I just met you
[3:42]know in the parking lot I walked up here
[3:44]and like I immediately started walking
[3:46]toward this man because if you're up
[3:47]here during this
[3:48]storm we're about to have some fun and
[3:51]he did the same thing it was like the
[3:53]most natural cool I I it
[3:56]was just amazing honestly and I get up
[4:00]there and he tells me the wind speed
[4:01]that's the first thing this man says and
[4:04]he pulls out his little device thing I
[4:06]forget what it's called damn that's a
[4:08]hot guy right there wow oh my God Joy
[4:11]passion you
[4:13]know come on
[4:17]okay oh he's getting out I got I just
[4:20]got watch this man's
[4:24]beautiful who are you where are you
[4:28]going oh my God
[4:30]he's opening the gate who are
[4:38]you oh man that man is
[4:46]beautiful oh my God so anyways
[4:50]um completely lost my train of thought
[4:53]you get the point just feel your
[4:55]feelings and go about your day it's a
[4:56]wonderful thing