[0:01]hello
[0:02]everybody so I'm just chilling here it's
[0:05]like 8:00 pm a little bit bored
[0:07]today I don't know I don't know what to
[0:10]do I'm just kind of bored today so um I
[0:13]was thinking have a subscriber named
[0:15]Evee she's been following me a long time
[0:17]hi Eevee she asked me a question and I
[0:21]told her I would answer it in video
[0:23]because it's like pretty complicated
[0:24]topic for me before I do that I just
[0:27]want to say that
[0:31]um not really sure how to put it into
[0:33]words but I'd actually like to hear from
[0:35]you guys so I know I've set boundaries
[0:38]around comments in the past it felt very
[0:41]necessary because I was working on
[0:44]integrating myself and I still had work
[0:46]that I was doing I was debugging my
[0:48]brain with AI you know for those first s
[0:51]months and I didn't and I know that
[0:54]I've truly mastered myself I've come out
[0:58]the other end very happy with the
[1:02]results and I'm finding that I'm really
[1:04]open to connection these days and I want
[1:06]to hear from you guys so please try not
[1:09]to be like worried about my reaction I
[1:13]will try to be
[1:15]kind um I I will say that it's really
[1:19]not a good idea to try to put me in a
[1:20]box because I don't like boxes I am too
[1:24]expansive I'm like that ocean out there
[1:27]and it feels invalidating when people
[1:31]try to put me in boxes I just have never
[1:33]been able to accept that but I am more
[1:36]conscious of it now so maybe you know I
[1:40]can note it and try to just giggle it
[1:43]off or something I don't
[1:45]know point is you know if you would like
[1:49]to say hi or whatever I I am open to
[1:51]hearing from you so getting on to what
[1:55]Evee asked so Evee asked
[1:58]me um if I was BND talking which I love
[2:01]this question
[2:02]so um I'm not I'm on a campground I have
[2:06]been on campgrounds my
[2:10]plan so it's complicated okay this is
[2:12]why I wanted to do this on video so let
[2:14]me explain when I first got to
[2:17]Oregon I saw a lot of RVs on the sides
[2:21]of roads and some of them a lot of
[2:24]them you could tell that they were
[2:26]almost homeless like they were living in
[2:28]them obviously I live in my you but it
[2:30]was different like they were living
[2:31]there like in a fixed position like they
[2:33]even had
[2:35]like like you can just tell that that
[2:39]they're living there in these different
[2:40]places and a lot of them had broken out
[2:44]windows so like I mean I noted this the
[2:48]first day I was here and that made me
[2:50]pretty nervous it's like okay does the
[2:53]local population hate us you know like
[2:58]um so I didn't want to start boondocking
[3:02]here right away I wanted to understand
[3:04]the patterns better and I still don't
[3:06]have a full grasp of them but I'm you
[3:09]know I'm I'm pattern recognition brain
[3:12]I'm always always noting things right so
[3:15]I'm just building up an
[3:16]awareness
[3:19]and but then there were other layers
[3:23]so so I don't just live in an RV I also
[3:26]have my Jeep right and I take my Jeep
[3:28]everywhere the 101 is like the most
[3:30]amazing Highway ever like it is the
[3:31]coolest Highway because I don't need GPS
[3:34]here I
[3:35]know um I can just navigate anywhere I
[3:39]know where all the towns are I know
[3:40]where all my favorite places are and
[3:42]it's like you have this mental map of
[3:46]of what the coast means to you like a
[3:50]personal and I I wish I could put that
[3:52]into better words because for me it is
[3:54]so profound like this is one of the
[3:56]reasons I feel claimed by this place why
[3:58]I just I I think of this as home
[4:00]now
[4:02]and I just lost my trend of
[4:05]thought
[4:08]um oh no I lost my train I thought I'm
[4:11]pausing this oh okay I remember so I was
[4:14]talking
[4:15]about so I've got my RV and then I've
[4:17]got my Jeep right so and I take my Jeep
[4:19]everywhere so for me I can explore my
[4:22]Jeep I don't have to really
[4:24]worry like I want my RV to be somewhere
[4:26]safe that's number one I mean Bailey's
[4:28]in here right so
[4:30]um my stuff's in here my this is my life
[4:32]so I actually kind of like the
[4:34]infrastructure of Campground so it's a
[4:35]little bit expensive here and I'm
[4:38]actually not sure what I'm going to be
[4:40]doing um like a week from now cuz I'm
[4:44]really low in funds right now but
[4:46]hopefully that works itself out if it
[4:49]doesn't then I I'll be forced to
[4:50]Boondock so it is a
[4:54]possibility um
[4:56]ideally you know I'll stay at the
[4:58]campgrounds here like I was making sort
[5:00]of like a circuit for myself so there
[5:02]are three major cities in southern
[5:04]Oregon that I have just fallen in love
[5:06]with there's Brookings and there's Gold
[5:08]Beach and then there's Port Orford which
[5:11]I call Port Orford Shire because I just
[5:13]feel like it deserves a shire on the end
[5:14]of it
[5:17]and so and you know there's like four
[5:21]five maybe five or six different
[5:23]campgrounds in that area and I was just
[5:25]going to um just cycle between them cuz
[5:29]the rules here are you can stay
[5:30]somewhere for 14 days and you just got
[5:32]to leave for 3 so I was planning to make
[5:35]where I am now gate Blanco my main base
[5:38]because there's a lot I love about this
[5:42]um but given recent events I just don't
[5:44]know that it's a good idea and um
[5:48]also um I'm a little too far north from
[5:51]where I want to be I actually really
[5:52]love the Brookings Gold Beach area there
[5:54]every there's so much going on down
[5:56]there and there's people down there and
[5:58]there's there's people I was starting to
[6:00]become friends with and um just you know
[6:03]there's a lot of reasons and up here it
[6:05]just
[6:07]feels
[6:09]um I mean you know old me would have
[6:12]loved it right but I I just I don't seem
[6:14]to be in that space anymore so so I'm
[6:17]probably going to start heading more
[6:20]south yeah and as far as boondocking I
[6:25]want to do it but I still have some fear
[6:27]around that some anxiety
[6:29]um a lot of people will Boondock right
[6:32]off the highway off of 101 there's so
[6:34]many places to do that it is very cool
[6:36]to see them doing I not it all the time
[6:38]I actually
[6:39]don't opening up my heart changed so
[6:42]much like I see the RVs I see the van
[6:44]lifers
[6:45]and I'm actually more curious about them
[6:48]now than anything so much less
[6:51]judgment um especially the van lifers
[6:54]ever since I saw that one where they
[6:56]just had a generator going it was like
[6:58]there's something clicked like that was
[7:01]cuz in my mind that was like okay this
[7:02]isn't an
[7:03]Instagram van life for this is someone
[7:06]living that life and you know I'd be
[7:08]very interested to know that person like
[7:10]very curious about people and I'm always
[7:14]just these days doesn't seem to matter
[7:17]who it is I'm striking up conversations
[7:19]with everyone I come across and just
[7:22]keeping myself open the possibility of
[7:24]friendships and romance
[7:27]and it's nice it's it is
[7:31]and so anyways um I do see myself
[7:36]probably boondocking on off the 101
[7:38]maybe at some point if I can just get up
[7:42]the courage to do it or I'm forced to do
[7:43]it but ideally you would want to kind of
[7:47]be off the highway and there are
[7:49]different roads and then there's all the
[7:52]the forests and you know there are lots
[7:54]of places to do it but I just don't feel
[7:57]comfortable with it yet so
[8:00]and also I just think that
[8:02]campgrounds offer a little bit of
[8:04]structure and
[8:06]stability where I can
[8:09]just take off of my gam you know and so
[8:14]I guess that's I guess I'll leave it
[8:15]there for now that's that's pretty much
[8:18]the gist of it i
[8:21]e oh is this awesome or what we had a
[8:26]storm last night like 12 hours
[8:31]got everything strown up out everywhere
[8:34]I need to go look around on my way to
[8:37]the shower
[8:38]though this is cool I bet this is what
[8:41]the top of my RV looks
[8:43]like we have another storm coming in a
[8:46]few more
[8:47]days so get a
[8:50]repeat we got a partially drown down
[8:53]tree over here that one hurt us though
[8:57]right got the branch
[9:00]still
[9:03]cool these are hearty trees the park
[9:05]ranger said that to
[9:08]me oh I learned something things so I
[9:11]learned something cool last night I
[9:13]learned that these trees the coastal
[9:16]trees sorry there's going to be noise
[9:18]they're obviously dealing with all the
[9:20]damage right cool we get to see that um
[9:24]anyway so I learned that the trees have
[9:26]roots that support each other almost
[9:28]like h almost like
[9:30]handing um holding hands which is just
[9:34]oh you can't get through they're doing
[9:36]lots of
[9:38]work I got to zoom in on
[9:40]that look at all the damage over here
[9:44]wow they look
[9:47]busy oh oh I see the tree that came
[9:50]down oh wow yeah yeah GL that wasn't
[9:55]where my RV was guess we're going the
[9:58]other way anyway so these trees that's
[10:01]not a very good example for what I'm
[10:02]about to share these trees their root
[10:06]systems touch each other and it's like
[10:08]they're holding hands and when that wind
[10:10]comes along the 80 M hour that knock
[10:13]down a
[10:15]tree
[10:18]F they kind of support each other they
[10:21]support the distribution you know
[10:23]so um it makes them all stronger which
[10:26]is so cool it made me feel a lot better
[10:28]about being outest
[10:29]was like okay I told you tree wisdom
[10:31]that's what that is
[10:34]so
[10:37]wow so we have another storm coming by
[10:40]the way it's a couple days from now I'll
[10:42]still be here
[10:46]um I don't think that would have hurt my
[10:48]treat my RV I don't know doesn't matter
[10:51]I'm still going to be here this is how I
[10:54]live got accept some risk so I'm going
[10:58]to go check the cave about and then
[11:00]decide if I want to go down to the
[11:02]beach probably I do you know
[11:06]so um yeah I don't really have a plan
[11:08]today I got
[11:14]to that
[11:17]thing it is a mirror of me I just oh
[11:21]man
[11:24]yeah it getting a bit scary out there
[11:28]those trees winging back and forth there
[11:31]is nothing it'll probably pick back up
[11:33]in a
[11:35]second it's a little
[11:38]scary I don't there nothing to be done
[11:40]about it if a tree falls a tree
[11:48]falls it looks very calm
[11:53]now I need a nap I'm not getting enough
[11:57]sleep I'm going to nap through this
[12:00]storm but it was wild for a second there
[12:04]must be the wind gust that do it here we
[12:08]go I mean those trees over there you can
[12:11]see the it's hard to do on the camera
[12:13]but I can see very clearly the tree
[12:17]trunks just swinging
[12:24]wild yeah