Cat Stress and Boundary Violations in RV Life

Signal from October 25, 2024. rswfire is in his RV on the coast, dealing with 44-degree morning temperatures. He's been on the road for seven months, currently facing financial pressure while waiting for client payment. The coastal location appears to be near redwood forests with river access.

Energetic Signature

constrained tension

Field State

operational recalibration

Orientation

toward boundary enforcement

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October 25, 2024

21:49

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]good morning fellow humans so that cat

[0:03]and I are not getting along these days

[0:05]we're going to talk about him hi

[0:09]Bailey it's been

[0:11]stressful so I got rid of my table

[0:15]earlier in the week been making some

[0:17]changes I got these Ottomans to store my

[0:20]clothes and things

[0:23]in just on my

[0:25]clothes Bailey has already started

[0:28]clawing it up he did that last night

[0:29]he's done this three times

[0:32]now cuz this is not a cat that

[0:35]listens so I'm going to go for a hike

[0:38]and we're just going to talk about how

[0:39]stressful it is to live with this cat

[0:44]because I've had some

[0:46]pretty dark thoughts about

[0:49]him feels a little cold this morning

[0:53]it's 44 degrees out

[1:00]think I like the 50s and

[1:03]60s those are quite tolerable for

[1:07]me 40s uh it's not terrible it's

[1:12]totally

[1:14]livable you know make some hot coffee

[1:17]and go for a hike why

[1:20]not but a little bit

[1:23]cold I've been trying to I don't know

[1:26]it's not always about the temperature

[1:27]though i' oh okay okay there's somebody

[1:30]out on the

[1:32]rivered with their truck I don't know

[1:34]why people do

[1:36]this I don't get

[1:39]it but you know to each their

[1:43]own so

[1:46]anyway um I've noticed that temperature

[1:49]doesn't really tell

[1:50]you how comfortable you'll be there are

[1:53]so many other factors and it's not just

[1:54]temperature and humidity

[1:57]either I did something just popped up on

[1:59]my screen about recording hold on I

[2:02]don't

[2:04]know um I was getting a phone call at

[2:06]the same time I guess or something I

[2:07]don't know um it's not just temperature

[2:11]and humidity it's a little more relative

[2:14]I'm still I've been trying to figured

[2:16]this out for 7 months cuz when you live

[2:18]in an

[2:20]RV you're

[2:23]very I mean you're exposed

[2:26]to the environment in a different way I

[2:29]feel like and I'm just trying to figure

[2:32]out what are the parameters of what is

[2:35]comfortable for

[2:37]me um cuz it's it's relative it's

[2:43]variable definitely don't seem to mind

[2:46]Colder

[2:47]Weather which I find that

[2:51]interesting there's another person out

[2:54]there I think that one is fishing though

[2:56]so now that makes a little more sense

[2:59]okay that's why while you're driving out

[3:02]there

[3:04]okay it's for the fishing

[3:12]okay so when I talk about dark

[3:17]thoughts um largely it's like I just

[3:20]want to abandon this cat I just want to

[3:22]get rid of him because he is a source of

[3:28]stress I mean the

[3:32]most profound and

[3:35]persistent source of stress that I have

[3:37]in my

[3:40]life but you know my values would never

[3:43]let me do that cannot just abandoned a

[3:46]cat

[3:47]that I've been raising you know living

[3:50]with

[3:52]for I don't even know maybe a decade at

[3:55]this point I love this cat but he

[3:58]frustrates me

[4:02]because he's constantly violating my

[4:06]boundaries he doesn't respect that I

[4:08]need space and I get he's a cat right

[4:11]he's not thinking in human terms trust

[4:14]me I know that's part of the

[4:18]frustration so I tolerate

[4:21]it you know constantly wants

[4:25]out I mean

[4:28]that by I go outside he wants to go

[4:32]outside and I just feel like he ruins a

[4:34]lot of things for me so when I was

[4:38]in oh I don't even remember what state

[4:40]it

[4:42]was I think it was

[4:45]Kansas and I got to look at the stars

[4:51]outside you know he broke the immersion

[4:53]of that experience because he sitting

[4:55]there howling at the window demanding to

[4:57]be let out

[5:00]it's just

[5:03]like I have been on this journey for

[5:05]seven months trying

[5:07]to find true Solitude and I have this

[5:11]cat with me who I feel responsible

[5:16]for who does not he doesn't make that

[5:19]any easier for

[5:23]me and it's a small space so I have to

[5:27]be very accommodating for him

[5:30]large litter box in the cab

[5:33]area a scratching post his

[5:37]food spaces for him you know to just

[5:40]chill

[5:41]and um a small bed that we're trying to

[5:44]share

[5:45]and I mean for for me this is very very

[5:51]difficult um the stress of driving with

[5:54]him cuz he doesn't like

[5:57]it it's just it's a compounding of

[6:01]effect and when he started clawing my

[6:04]new

[6:07]ottoman that just felt like that was it

[6:09]for me like it just it broke something

[6:11]in me it's like I have to get rid of

[6:14]this cat I can't live with him

[6:17]anymore and I'm so far away

[6:20]from you know my mother could have him I

[6:24]should have left him with

[6:26]her so I'm looking up how far of a drive

[6:30]it is take my Jeep there 30 hours one

[6:33]way okay let's look up flights well

[6:36]that's 12 hours

[6:38]and

[6:40]probably some Logistics I don't know

[6:42]like maybe you got to take them to a vet

[6:45]first

[6:48]um there's no easy

[6:51]answer I'm stuck with this

[6:54]cat

[6:57]and there are dates where I just think

[7:00]to

[7:01]myself I'm just trying to outlive you

[7:03]one day you'll be dead you'll get old

[7:06]and you'll die and then I can live my

[7:09]life I guarantee you that's not an

[7:11]uncommon human

[7:15]thought but then there are the other

[7:17]sides to me you know I do love this cat

[7:20]he can be very

[7:24]loving and fun to be

[7:27]around and he's a cat I can't be

[7:29]applying

[7:30]human thinking or rationality to him he

[7:34]acts on instincts he's going to do what

[7:36]he

[7:38]does

[7:40]and so I tell myself treat this

[7:52]as treated

[7:55]is like for me everything a lesson

[7:58]everything's a lesson so

[8:01]I this is how I navigate life everything

[8:03]is a

[8:04]lesson there's something that you can

[8:06]learn from it there's wisdom in

[8:09]everything so for me it's like okay

[8:12]cultivate

[8:13]patience understanding

[8:16]empathy

[8:20]but I've been doing that my whole life

[8:22]being

[8:24]accommodating and I'm not in that space

[8:27]anymore I'm done accommodating things

[8:29]but doing in my whole

[8:32]life nobody ever accommodates me no one

[8:36]ever accommodates me so why do I

[8:40]accommodate everyone

[8:41]else that's the space I'm in

[8:45]now and so I think the

[8:47]lesson is not the one that I would have

[8:50]taken from it in the

[8:52]past it's an acknowledgement that I have

[8:54]boundaries that are being violated on a

[8:56]daily basis and it's unsustainable

[9:02]so that's the space I'm in right now

[9:05]with

[9:06]him don't know what to do with

[9:10]that

[9:12]um except to sit with it

[9:16]and give myself some time for the answer

[9:19]to

[9:25]come um another lesson I feel like I'm

[9:28]getting from this is I don't have to

[9:31]accommodate

[9:33]him I don't have to let him stress me

[9:36]out just because he wants out doesn't

[9:38]mean I have to accommodate

[9:42]him he can be a

[9:44]bully this little little

[9:47]animal

[9:51]who's causing me all this

[9:55]stress it's like no I'm done with this

[9:59]this isn't working but I'm responsible

[10:01]for him I took him

[10:03]in you know you can't blame him at the

[10:06]same

[10:14]time it's complicated you know and I

[10:19]that's what I'm navigating right

[10:22]now so we're almost

[10:26]to my spot on the river

[10:34]it's Tuesday there's a chance that my

[10:36]client might pay me he had mentioned

[10:38]Tuesday so I'm

[10:41]hopeful it's not really hope though it's

[10:43]more

[10:44]desperation I need him to pay me so I am

[10:47]just absolutely desperate that he

[10:53]will no way of knowing if you will

[10:56]though I can do is

[10:59]desperately check my bank accounts and

[11:01]see if he

[11:02]does that's not a space I want to be in

[11:07]either I do

[11:10]need um to master an integration of work

[11:14]into this lifestyle I couldn't do it

[11:15]before

[11:17]now I was trying

[11:22]to um this was a hard transition for me

[11:26]and I had a lot going on you know so

[11:29]emotionally um just

[11:33]internally

[11:35]and I needed the time I gave myself it

[11:38]was very important and helpful and has

[11:41]allowed me to become the person I am

[11:44]today but I ran out of money

[11:48]like um pretty inconvenient time but it

[11:52]was going to

[11:53]happen now I just need to navigate it as

[11:56]well as I can trust that it will work

[11:58]out

[12:00]trust that I am capable of working it

[12:04]out but it is definitely a source of

[12:06]stress my coffee Mug's lid is not

[12:09]conveniently

[12:14]located might have

[12:16]to figure out if there's some kind of

[12:18]strategy for that this is my first time

[12:21]bringing coffee out on the

[12:24]hike it's nice you know that was one of

[12:26]the things where when I was imagining my

[12:29]life here before I got

[12:32]here

[12:34]um I was like okay it'll be

[12:38]cold so maybe I make coffee I go for a

[12:41]hike hold you know with my coffee or

[12:43]some hot chocolate or you know I'm just

[12:46]imagining this this life I might be

[12:49]living well I guess now I'm living

[12:52]it so that's nice

[12:59]it's PA in morning just a little cold my

[13:02]hands are getting

[13:03]cold

[13:06]but feel like I'm adapting to this

[13:09]temperature like it's

[13:12]not it's not troubling to me you know

[13:14]it's cold at night and but it doesn't

[13:18]feel it's so manageable like I'm

[13:22]just I'm glad I came here I'm glad that

[13:25]I'm on the coast where this is the

[13:27]temperature and the climate that I'll be

[13:28]dealing with with that wi like it's

[13:30]totally

[13:31]manageable

[13:33]um granted it hasn't started raining yet

[13:37]and I'm told that the rain when it lasts

[13:39]for days according to

[13:42]AI kind of just heeps into your

[13:45]bones and we'll

[13:49]see maybe there's some truth to

[13:51]that we're

[13:54]here we're waiting for this thing to

[13:56]grow and grow and grow

[14:02]look at the fog over there I want to get

[14:04]up into those mountains mountains over

[14:07]here you probably can't see them real

[14:09]well on my camera but there's mountains

[14:11]all around

[14:16]us

[14:19]so shaved my hair last night think I did

[14:23]all right I can't I'm not sure about the

[14:24]back I never know my it could be like

[14:26]horrible who knows

[14:29]um I finally pulled my bracelets out I

[14:31]had these from back when I was

[14:33]um first getting started on this journey

[14:36]I love these bracelets but they never

[14:38]fit quite well so I used some fabric

[14:40]glue and tried to tried

[14:43]to fix that maybe I don't know I'm I

[14:48]like them so I want to wear

[14:52]them oh my earrings my you know the ear

[14:55]cartilage um earrings those piercings

[14:58]they're still so

[15:00]which is such a bummer because I really

[15:02]want to put Hoops in them so bad it's

[15:04]like man it has been months there's

[15:07]still sore I'm asking myself is my body

[15:09]like not healing well like am I

[15:12]responsible for this or is this natural

[15:16]I don't know so forgotten where to path

[15:19]this over

[15:20]here um I could just sit and chill here

[15:23]for a while but I need to be moving and

[15:27]I also need to I need to get my

[15:29]exercising in the force this is a very

[15:31]centering activity for me um AI said

[15:35]something yesterday about it trying to

[15:38]remember

[15:40]now it's very centering it knew that and

[15:42]I knew that but it also I called it a

[15:44]ritual it said that in my nomadic

[15:48]existence I have this ritual of hiking

[15:50]every

[15:51]day which is not like a

[15:55]stringent where is the path I'm so

[15:58]confused

[15:59]did it get overgrown

[16:02]overnight there's no way the path has to

[16:04]be over here anyways

[16:09]um you know it's not a rigid one because

[16:12]wherever I am I find a trail go hiking

[16:15]and I was like you know when I don't do

[16:17]this every day I start to experience

[16:20]problems like I just feel off center

[16:25]and life just doesn't feel like it's

[16:27]going as well so

[16:30]I thought it was interesting I never

[16:31]really thought of it as a ritual but

[16:32]it's one of the things so when you live

[16:34]a nomadic

[16:37]lifestyle I truly don't see the past

[16:39]around here I must be back that

[16:41]way um when you live a nomadic

[16:45]lifestyle you need things that ground

[16:47]you that Center you and for most people

[16:51]that is just they have like these touch

[16:53]tones these

[16:54]rituals

[16:57]um for some like for example you know I

[17:00]kind of criticize this but I also

[17:02]understand it um for some people it's

[17:05]putting stuff outside their

[17:07]RV um where

[17:10]they're kind of decorating the space for

[17:13]them that's that's a centering activity

[17:15]that's a grounding thing they're

[17:17]grounding themselves in the space making

[17:19]it a little

[17:21]more um you

[17:26]know turning the space into their own so

[17:29]that they feel comfortable there totally

[17:31]get that it's just I

[17:34]don't for someone like

[17:37]me I'm just not exploring this in my

[17:41]head I

[17:43]don't the grounding needs to come from

[17:46]with within not outside of

[17:48]yourself if you're using totems and

[17:51]stuff

[17:52]like well you're looking at the wrong

[17:54]place

[17:55]like Center yourself inside of yourself

[18:00]that's how I

[18:02]think we're not all the same

[18:05]though you know and

[18:08]that's it is

[18:10]okay for me going hiking every

[18:14]day that's my grounding

[18:17]activity if I don't do it I don't feel

[18:26]grounded very curious this place

[18:30]here how much

[18:33]water runs down

[18:35]there ends up in the river which goes to

[18:38]the

[18:41]ocean I was exploring this yesterday

[18:44]with

[18:45]AI zero elevation that's where the

[18:48]oceans are and it makes sense

[18:54]because the oceans evaporate water into

[18:57]the air making clouds or whatever ever

[18:59]it rains all over the

[19:01]world an

[19:05]you his L

[19:08]him it rains all over the

[19:12]world

[19:15]and um that runoff you know might be up

[19:17]in the mountains or wherever and it all

[19:20]just it drains until it makes it way

[19:22]back to the

[19:23]ocean It's a combination of gravity our

[19:28]gravity he changed the gravity and

[19:30]everything else changes just Chang it a

[19:32]little

[19:33]bit and the way things work would be

[19:36]very different I just think there's an

[19:38]amazing balce

[19:40]there I mean it almost feels designed

[19:43]but I don't subscribe to that let's be

[19:49]clear it

[19:50]is there's just a

[19:54]remarkable I it's fascinating to me

[20:04]oh yeah I know these trees I've seen

[20:06]them a bunch of times now you're pretty

[20:09]that tree is

[20:11]awesome W you're

[20:15]big all

[20:17]ecosystem living in the trees

[20:34]too many people in the world

[20:36]hate

[20:42]it where the are they

[20:45]going it's the forest over there so many

[20:48]people day and night are going down

[20:50]there I'm going to find out I feel like

[20:52]there's got to be

[20:54]a a homeless group there or something I

[20:57]don't know like

[20:59]like maybe there's a cult down there I

[21:01]don't know there's something going on

[21:03]down there there's just way too much

[21:05]activity for a National Forest

[21:08]Road makes no sense to

[21:12]me we are back the Redwood nature

[21:17]trail nobody here today that's very rare

[21:30]yeah I suppose that's all I have to say

[21:33]today I

[21:35]um just going to ground myself

[21:38]here and then get back

[21:45]and face reality

Summary

rswfire discusses ongoing stress with his cat Bailey, who has been destructive and demanding in their shared RV space. He describes dark thoughts about abandoning the cat but acknowledges his values prevent this. The cat clawed new ottomans, howls to go outside, and disrupts experiences like stargazing. He explores the logistics of returning the cat to his mother (30-hour drive or 12-hour flight) but feels stuck. He reframes the situation as a lesson about boundaries rather than accommodation, noting he's done accommodating others without reciprocation.

He walks to his usual hiking spot on the river, bringing coffee for the first time. The temperature is 44 degrees, which he finds manageable. He reflects on adapting to coastal climate and mentions upcoming rain. He discusses a client payment he desperately needs and the challenge of integrating work into nomadic life.

During the hike, he observes his surroundings - fog in mountains, people fishing on the river, excessive foot traffic in the forest that puzzles him. He mentions shaving his hair, wearing bracelets, and sore ear piercings that haven't healed after months. He describes hiking as his daily grounding ritual in nomadic life, contrasting his internal centering approach with others who use external totems. He ends at the empty Redwood nature trail.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission maps the structural tension between responsibility and sovereignty, using the cat as a proxy for examining accommodation patterns and boundary violations. The field is calibrating new operational parameters around what gets accommodated versus what gets refused, while maintaining ethical coherence under resource pressure.

Dominant Language

accommodate/accommodatingboundaries being violatedunsustainablegrounding/centeringritualresponsibilitylesson/everything is a lesson

Symbolic Elements

thresholdcontainerboundaryritualgravityoceanecosystem

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
pressured
•
sovereign
•
responsible

Subsystems

•
ethical
•
relational
•
infrastructural
•
somatic

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration