Processing Emotional Break at River Campsite

rswfire is at a river campsite in Oregon at 8 feet elevation, having left his campsite a mile away after an emotional response to classical music. He's in a 14-day camping cycle with required 3-day breaks, currently organizing his RV space and dealing with a critical financial situation of $200 remaining.

Energetic Signature

liminal

Field State

threshold stabilization

Orientation

toward temporal stabilization

01JAGMPVC05WA09XNEC69P38SQ

October 18, 2024

7:19

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:01]so apparently I'm at an elevation

[0:05]of8 according to my watch which means I

[0:09]hit

[0:10]zero I've been at zero

[0:15]elevation I'm only a mile from my

[0:21]campsite I just had to get out of there

[0:23]I was listening to classical music today

[0:26]hadn't done that in

[0:28]months and on the nature of daylight

[0:31]came on by Max RoR and boy did that

[0:34]break me started thinking about my

[0:37]mom my old life got very

[0:43]sad I have such a complicated

[0:45]relationship with

[0:47]her I love her so

[0:50]much and she makes me feel safe when I'm

[0:52]around

[0:54]her but there's this distance even now

[0:58]when we talk on the phone there's

[1:01]just there's always been this

[1:07]distance

[1:11]so I just felt I needed to get

[1:15]out I'm sitting in front of the

[1:21]river I just need to give it a few weeks

[1:25]this thing's going to start

[1:27]growing can't wait to see that

[1:30]very excited about

[1:32]it and I will be here

[1:35]so rules here are you can stay at a

[1:38]campground for 14 days and you have to

[1:39]leave for

[1:41]three and I have a week here and then I

[1:44]go to a state park that's right on the

[1:47]ocean for 3 days and then I come back

[1:50]for two

[1:51]weeks and that's the extent of any plans

[1:54]I have like I said yesterday I'm down to

[1:58]$200 unless my the client pays me and

[2:02]doesn't look to me like you will

[2:04]so and I can't can't rely on it so I

[2:09]have to assume he

[2:10]won't it will be a nice surprise if he

[2:15]does

[2:18]but my financial situation is

[2:25]bad so I need to do something about it

[2:28]and I'm working on that

[2:31]oh I've been getting my space organized

[2:32]today just about

[2:37]done I feel at home in there took a long

[2:40]time but feels like

[2:42]home I was looking through some of my

[2:45]old videos

[2:46]yesterday I think it was less than a

[2:48]month after I got on the road so

[2:50]sometime around May when I quit traod

[2:53]doll and everybody kept telling me that

[2:55]it would be a struggle and it was but I

[2:59]got through through it a week later I

[3:02]was there's a duck over there we got to

[3:05]look at the

[3:06]duck he

[3:08][Music]

[3:15]ducking so

[3:21]cool now it's worth

[3:23]watching

[3:25]a wonder what else we'll see as it

[3:27]starts raining and stuff

[3:30]what you say this is the cleanest

[3:32]according to AI this is one of the

[3:33]cleanest rivers in Oregon but I

[3:37]see shades of green that look a little

[3:39]concerning to me like almost a neon

[3:42]green out

[3:43]there I don't

[3:46]know so anyways

[3:49]um I was watching my old videos and I

[3:52]watched myself go the kod

[3:55]draw a week later I was I mean the whole

[3:58]time I was showing

[4:02]how I approach problems

[4:05]and it's

[4:08]inspiring I tackled it and moved on and

[4:11]that was it that was the

[4:13]end and then I squit smoking course I'm

[4:16]vaping but I'm thinking about quitting

[4:20]that now too I don't think it's going to

[4:21]be as much of a challenge as Society

[4:24]tells me it will be I think maybe that's

[4:27]one of the ways they keep you doing it

[4:30]if I can quit Tramadol and not look back

[4:33]I can quit vaping I can you know I

[4:36]just and quit this Mountain Dew over

[4:40]here I've been thinking a lot about

[4:43]it and I think I'm just about ready once

[4:46]I make a

[4:47]decision that's

[4:50]it so probably pretty soon I'm going to

[4:54]be doing that

[5:00]I've seen how much I've changed too I

[5:02]know I must

[5:04]seem angrier maybe even bitter right

[5:08]now and there's some of that but it's

[5:13]mostly

[5:17]um it's a recognition that we're heading

[5:20]in a very dangerous place you that we're

[5:23]so close

[5:25]that of course it's affecting me

[5:37]and I've never met anyone like me and so

[5:40]I'm just having this there's so much to

[5:43]my journey s months of it I mean all

[5:46]these different threads coming

[5:56]together I think I just need time

[6:03]you know and then who

[6:10]knows and I was very angry the other day

[6:13]and I'm sure that upset some people I've

[6:15]seen it in my the number of dislikes I'm

[6:18]getting on my

[6:21]videos hold on definitely not a fan of

[6:24]other people these days

[6:32]honestly I don't think you can blame me

[6:33]for

[6:36]that the way that people have changed

[6:39]over the years over the

[6:44]decades it doesn't even feel like we're

[6:47]the same species

[6:50]anymore I have nothing in common with

[6:53]people

[6:56]anymore I don't know what to do with

[6:58]that

[7:04]I guess you could say I'm in a limit of

[7:05]space these days since I got to organ

[7:08]and I'm working through it I don't know

[7:11]how long it will be how long it will

[7:12]take where it will take

[7:14]me this is where I am today and so I

[7:16]document it

Summary

rswfire sits by a river at 8 feet elevation, one mile from his campsite, after being emotionally triggered by Max Richter's "On the Nature of Daylight" while listening to classical music. The music brought up complicated feelings about his mother and their distant relationship despite mutual love. He describes his current camping situation - 14-day stays with 3-day breaks required, planning to visit a state park on the ocean. His financial situation is critical with only $200 remaining and an unreliable client payment. He has been organizing his RV space and feels at home in it now. While reviewing old videos from May when he quit Tramadol, he reflects on his problem-solving approach and considers quitting vaping and Mountain Dew. He acknowledges appearing angrier and more bitter, attributing this to recognizing society's dangerous direction. He expresses feeling disconnected from other people and describes being in a "limit space" since arriving in Oregon.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission holds the architecture of threshold occupation—positioned at literal zero elevation while processing emotional rupture and systemic disconnection. The field is establishing temporal rhythms (14-day cycles) and spatial boundaries (river, campsite, state park) as containment structures for integration work. Sovereignty is being practiced through resource scarcity navigation and deliberate isolation from species-level alienation.

Dominant Language

elevation zerodifferent speciesnothing in commonliminal spacethreads coming togetherdangerous placehome

Symbolic Elements

zeroriverthresholdedgecycles

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
sovereign
•
integrating
•
isolated

Subsystems

•
emotional
•
infrastructural
•
somatic
•
relational

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration