Processing Financial Pressure While Hiking Oregon Redwoods

Speaker is hiking Oregon Redwoods Trail in national forest area, sitting by river expecting rain, exploring redwood trees and downloading forest maps for future exploration. Experiencing acute financial stress with $200 remaining and multiple bills due.

Energetic Signature

raw vulnerability

Field State

crisis navigation

Orientation

toward self-reliance through natural grounding

01JAE5TQWGD82SPBDMN63RE20A

October 17, 2024

7:55

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]hello fellow

[0:02]humans so I'm out

[0:05]hiking I'm sitting in front of the river

[0:07]here we just needed to start raining and

[0:09]we're going to watch this thing grow I

[0:11]can't wait to see what happens I'm

[0:13]really looking forward to that we got to

[0:15]be close

[0:17]right so I forgot my teeth today and I

[0:20]noticed that I actually feel a little

[0:23]embarrassed about that I don't know why

[0:26]I've been on camera for 9 months without

[0:28]teeth but it wasn't that I was just out

[0:31]in the woods and you know people walking

[0:33]by and feel actually a little bit

[0:35]embarrassed about it which is remarkable

[0:37]I'm wondering what that's about I think

[0:39]it might be because I'm feeling

[0:40]particularly vulnerable

[0:41]today I'm out here

[0:44]because I got some bad news my client

[0:48]that I worked with for 10 years that I

[0:51]stopped working with when I started my

[0:53]adventure when I transition to this

[0:56]life he owes me money he's not paying it

[1:00]and I have $200 to my

[1:02]name I am trying to restart my

[1:05]freelancing

[1:07]business that's all I can

[1:09]do and I'm hoping that that works out I

[1:12]have no reason to believe it

[1:13]won't what my bills are do my car

[1:16]insurance is still I have no

[1:20]groceries my car payment is

[1:24]still um I don't have the money for any

[1:26]of these things my satellite internet

[1:28]that one's

[1:31]do

[1:32]and well I need that for work don't I so

[1:36]we're going to walk down to the Oregon

[1:39]redwoods Trail I found it the other day

[1:41]it's not far from

[1:45]here

[1:47]so they unstressed

[1:50]out you

[1:53]know at the same time I came out here

[1:56]and I just started thinking told myself

[1:58]I've been here before

[2:01]I'm an old man

[2:02]now I've experienced it

[2:05]all this

[2:07]is nothing

[2:09]new I guess I just feel a little hurt

[2:12]because my ex client is trying to blame

[2:15]me and this is a pattern I've seen in

[2:18]him we've gone through many developers

[2:21]over 10 years and he just blames the

[2:23]Developers for his projects not getting

[2:25]off the ground and now he's doing that

[2:27]to me

[2:30]he doesn't see that he's the common

[2:32]denominator that

[2:36]he it's why our projects ever make it

[2:39]execution give me a second I don't like

[2:41]recording around other people it just

[2:43]makes me feel weird like got this camera

[2:45]pointing at me walking down the road

[2:47]looks it just to me it's kind of silly I

[2:49]guess that's how Modern Life works now

[2:52]but I see other people doing it and I'm

[2:54]just

[2:56]like there's an in congruence I don't

[2:58]like the way

[3:00]there are certain facets of our Modern

[3:02]Life that I think are a little

[3:04]ridiculous so I don't

[3:07]know um I guess my pride won't let me do

[3:09]it okay so we're here it's right over

[3:14]here um so as I was

[3:19]saying I put every bit of ounce of

[3:22]energy I had into my projects for my

[3:24]client for 10 years I went through

[3:27]hundreds of programmers for him managed

[3:30]all he was

[3:32]so disconnected from what we were doing

[3:35]that I had to make all the decisions

[3:37]everything every facet of those projects

[3:39]was on my

[3:40]shoulders and he was just the man who

[3:43]paid us didn't always pay us in time

[3:45]either but we worked with him you

[3:48]know

[3:49]and we finally got one project done then

[3:53]he didn't Market it didn't do

[3:55]anything you know and over the years of

[3:58]this it's like

[4:00]I just don't know

[4:02]how I just couldn't take it anymore like

[4:05]it just I was becoming burnt out I was

[4:08]exhausted now he's using that as an

[4:10]excuse he's saying

[4:13]that you know he it's a GU he thinks

[4:15]this is just how programmers are we just

[4:17]get burnt out no this is what happens

[4:20]when you have poor

[4:22]management

[4:26]so it is what it is and I'm just going

[4:29]to have to push forward $200 to my name

[4:32]you guys get to watch me

[4:33]do what I want to call the impossible

[4:35]because that's what it feels like let's

[4:37]go hike this

[4:38]Trail somewhere around here it starts

[4:42]there a very short

[4:43]Trail sounds like there's kids on it

[4:45]already so I don't like recording other

[4:48]people so I'm going to pause it if I

[4:50]have

[4:53]to yeah I think it's just I don't know

[4:55]it's marked you just kind of end up on

[4:57]it I didn't wear my contacts today

[4:59]either there just kind of

[5:02]left but there are redwoods on this

[5:06]Trail um they're kind of they're

[5:08]fascinating actually I don't know a lot

[5:11]about them but it seems

[5:13]like sometimes two of them will grow

[5:16]next to each other and they almost merge

[5:17]into

[5:18]one which I find very curious like

[5:21]here's one right

[5:22]here those

[5:24]two I don't know did they start out

[5:26]together or I don't really get it

[5:30]need to look that

[5:33]up um yeah I was here the other day

[5:37]didn't recorded that

[5:42]time that's beautiful even though it's

[5:45]dead well part of it is parts of it are

[5:50]not all of it it looks like

[5:53]it's look like I don't know like a

[5:56]hybrid like multiple trees

[6:00]have merged together like it's pretty

[6:03]fascinating this reminds me of the

[6:06]Natural Bridge in Kentucky Rock paths

[6:08]like this first thing I noticed when I

[6:10]got here it's like oh I feel like I'm at

[6:13]home even these shrubs when you get out

[6:16]on the sand Gap trail look like

[6:19]that so this place

[6:23]felt

[6:25]um felt right at home

[6:27]here and this is just a start of the

[6:30]national forest that I'm

[6:32]in I was looking at guy

[6:35]GPS see here's one giant tree this

[6:38]thing's still alive too look at

[6:41]this it's the whole inside was carved

[6:44]out somehow so

[6:48]big

[6:49]but it's going just

[6:52]fine so I was looking at guia GPS

[6:56]and um I can't I'm going to

[7:00]I pronounced it wrong but there was

[7:01]another app like a zenza or something

[7:03]like that and I was downloading

[7:06]like different Forest maps road youth

[7:10]maps and there's so

[7:12]many I have a lot of exploring to

[7:15]do but I'm going to end it here

[7:18]because you know this is what you'll see

[7:20]on the

[7:22]trail and I

[7:24]just I need some time to myself

[7:27]today need to Center myself

[7:31]s what what my client is doing is

[7:35]heartbreaking

[7:38]um the way that

[7:40]he is labeling

[7:42]me

[7:45]hurts

[7:50]but all I can do is move forward till

[7:53]any of us can ever do

Summary

rswfire hikes to Oregon Redwoods Trail while processing financial crisis. Has $200 remaining after 10-year client refuses payment and blames him for project failures. **Financial situation**: Car insurance due, no groceries, car payment due, satellite internet due. **Client pattern**: Went through hundreds of programmers over 10 years, client disconnected from projects, rswfire managed all decisions, client didn't market completed project. **Current state**: Restarting freelancing business, feeling hurt by client's blame pattern. **Location details**: Hiking near river expecting rain, exploring redwoods that sometimes merge together, downloading forest maps and road maps for future exploration. **Personal notes**: Forgot teeth and contacts, feels embarrassed around other people, doesn't like recording around others, finds modern life recording habits incongruent. Plans to continue exploring national forest area.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission maps the architecture of exposure during acute resource scarcity, where institutional betrayal creates a vulnerability field that must be navigated while maintaining structural coherence. The signal demonstrates how external pressure reveals internal alignment patterns, with the forest serving as grounding infrastructure during systemic rupture.

Dominant Language

common denominatorpatternpoor managementstructuralmove forwardimpossiblemerge togetherfelt right at home

Symbolic Elements

forestriverredwoodsmerging treeshollow treetrailthreshold

Ontological States

•
vulnerable
•
transitional
•
grounded
•
exposed

Subsystems

•
emotional
•
infrastructural
•
somatic
•
relational

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 30fps

Duration

7:55

Bitrate

4450 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028