Last Day in Nevada Before Oregon Move

Final day in Nevada before departing for Oregon. Located at a campground after running errands in Elo. RV experiencing battery and potential mouse issues. Temperature reached 90 degrees inside the RV during the day.

Energetic Signature

resolute clarity

Field State

threshold crossing

Orientation

toward Oregon while maintaining integration

01J9MEKS90D83P37QEWJ29YG06

October 7, 2024

19:18

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]since this is my last day in Nevada I

[0:03]figured I'll go into Alo and get some

[0:06]Starbucks I contemplated going to Salt

[0:09]Lake City but a little too far away I

[0:11]want to get that Renegy inverter and I

[0:14]couldn't find it

[0:15]anywhere around here so they have a

[0:18]Lowe's and a Home Depot and Elco but

[0:21]they don't have exactly what I'm looking

[0:24]for it doesn't have to be a renogy it

[0:25]just has to be a pure sine wave one and

[0:30]um there were some other factors I can't

[0:32]remember them all

[0:34]but I'm not going to settle I'm going to

[0:36]get the right

[0:37]one my batteries are already going dead

[0:39]they're at

[0:40]like 12.5 or something I mean it's just

[0:44]ridiculous those

[0:47]batteries which is not surprising I

[0:49]think this is what happens when you buy

[0:51]an RV you know they give you bad

[0:53]batteries and you have it for a while

[0:56]and then you go offgrade and discover

[0:57]your batteries suck so

[1:01]just roll with it got my coffee here

[1:06]yay and now I'm at a pet store see if I

[1:10]can get Bailey his fish flakes I haven't

[1:12]been able to find them in months I check

[1:14]every time I can so so on ad decided to

[1:18]come here and see get something for

[1:21]Bailey no fish flakes for

[1:24]Bailey got him a new kind of he doesn't

[1:27]like so I'll explain a second I'm got

[1:28]some of these um so my cat his mom

[1:32]abandoned him when he was a day old and

[1:33]this woman took care of him till he was

[1:35]six weeks old and then I took over then

[1:38]he got sick and I had to feed him with

[1:41]the syringe I had to feed him like this

[1:43]wet food with um pumpkin in it and I

[1:47]think that that experience made him not

[1:49]like wet food cuz now he won't eat

[1:51]anything wet like only dry food

[1:54]and basically he likes kitten food

[1:56]actually kitten chow is what I got for

[1:58]him that's what he likes

[2:00]and those treats and he likes fish

[2:02]flakes and popsicles that's all my cat

[2:05]likes so I tried to I went to a couple

[2:08]different stores looking for inverters

[2:11]but none of them were pure sine wave

[2:13]ones and

[2:16]I I could probably get away with other

[2:18]ones but I don't know for certain so I'm

[2:21]just going to special order one you can

[2:25]like order it like from Home Depot and

[2:27]it'll go to their store and then pick it

[2:29]up on the way so going to order one and

[2:32]pick it up on the way to the organ

[2:34]Coast now I'm heading back to my RV got

[2:37]hours driving from me so a few people

[2:41]told me that they thought I might regret

[2:43]my decision if I stayed in Nevada and

[2:45]didn't go to

[2:46]work I'm not just talking about comments

[2:49]on YouTube but actually in my personal

[2:50]life heard this and I'm very curious why

[2:55]it is framed this way why isn't it

[2:58]framed you might regret it if you

[2:59]believe in

[3:01]abandon why are you making that choice

[3:04]for me by the way like why are you even

[3:06]assuming you know what I might or might

[3:08]not regret why are you doing

[3:10]that now with that being said I don't

[3:13]actually experience regret all that

[3:14]often regret isn't a natural feeling for

[3:18]me I am an integrated person so when I

[3:22]make a decision it's because that's what

[3:24]resonates with me I choose one path over

[3:27]another path all paths are equal valid

[3:30]until you choose one and even if that

[3:33]path turns out to be what some people

[3:34]might describe as a wrong path you can

[3:38]always make a new choice I don't

[3:40]experience regret that often I say that

[3:43]often because you know there are moments

[3:45]where I miss my cat Oliver or I'm

[3:48]extremely annoyed with Bailey like

[3:50]sometimes I wish Bailey was with my mom

[3:53]sometimes I wish Oliver was with

[3:55]me those aren't even regrets because I

[3:59]don't see things in black and white

[4:01]terms like that there are many emotions

[4:04]evolved

[4:05]there's nothing is simple I live with

[4:10]complexity and fragmented people break

[4:12]everything down into simplistic terms it

[4:14]don't apply to me and there's no reason

[4:17]to be sharing that kind of world view

[4:18]with me just don't do

[4:21]it I know that people mean well but they

[4:24]approach the they approach like very

[4:26]differently than I

[4:28]do and it's like we're just not

[4:31]compatible it's like we have to keep

[4:33]things on the surface

[4:35]because that's the only place that's

[4:37]comfortable and even

[4:41]possible don't experience regret the way

[4:44]you guys

[4:46]do and I don't think you can understand

[4:49]why

[4:50]because we approach life so differently

[4:53]I don't compartmentalize

[4:56]anything and the way it's framed you'll

[4:59]you'll miss out if you don't go to

[5:00]Oregon well what about Nevada I happen

[5:03]to love it

[5:04]here it shows that you have a bias

[5:07]towards one One path or

[5:11]another it's

[5:14]like you're basically just projecting

[5:17]you're just you're projecting your world

[5:19]view want to me this is how you would

[5:21]feel not how I would feel don't you get

[5:25]that that's what you do all the time

[5:26]when you're giving advice to people

[5:30]like this is why I don't do that I don't

[5:34]give you advice I don't tell you what

[5:36]path to

[5:41]take because I don't know what's right

[5:43]for you any more than you know what's

[5:45]right for

[5:47]me I am going to organ but I'm going

[5:50]there for my own reasons reasons that

[5:53]that I decided on last

[5:57]night

[5:58]after a week of contemplating my this

[6:02]choice this was not an easy

[6:09]one if organ doesn't work out I can come

[6:11]back to Nevada if I stayed in Nevada and

[6:14]felt like this wasn't working I could

[6:15]have gone to

[6:17]Oregon life is not black and white I

[6:21]don't know why people frame it that way

[6:22]I think it's this binary

[6:24]compartmentalized thinking that just

[6:26]seems to

[6:30]be very

[6:32]common and it has always

[6:34]been challenging for

[6:39]me to have to

[6:45]navigate my

[6:47]life in relation to the way everyone

[6:49]else

[6:53]thinks when you frame something that way

[6:56]you're attempting to fragment my process

[6:58]you may not know know you're doing that

[7:00]but that's what you're

[7:01]doing you're trying to make me see

[7:04]things in a binary way and that's not

[7:06]how I

[7:07]work at all I am a non-binary

[7:12]thinker I get that you may not

[7:16]understand what that means I get that

[7:17]it's not

[7:18]common but you should respect it how

[7:21]many times have I said on my channel

[7:23]don't give me advice just don't do it

[7:27]because your advice isn't helpful

[7:36]I'm not looking for

[7:38]advice I'm not even really looking for

[7:41]anything or not even encouragement or

[7:43]anything like that just a

[7:46]witnessing I'm traveling up this

[7:48]mountain and we're going to see how that

[7:50]goes

[7:52]and you can witness that and say

[7:55]wow you see me

[8:00]confronting the fear and anxiety they

[8:03]have around certain terms or and but

[8:06]it's more than that because nothing's

[8:08]binary for me there's so much about this

[8:11]it's amazing to me I love

[8:15]this

[8:18]um I don't have simple

[8:21]emotions and my emotions are not

[8:23]separate from the rest of me I know you

[8:26]guys don't get this you probably think

[8:29]that it's

[8:31] but you'd be wrong and I've

[8:35]been this way my whole

[8:40]life and it took me a long time to

[8:42]understand that everyone else is

[8:44]different they're not like

[8:48]me I got to switch gears

[8:54]here so I figured out kind of what

[8:57]triggers me it's when the road starts

[8:59]starts curving and you can't see it and

[9:01]all you see is the sky The

[9:03]Horizon somehow that it just seems to

[9:06]trigger something Primal in me but if I

[9:09]go slow enough if I go 20 M an hour I've

[9:11]discovered that seems to be the The

[9:14]Sweet Spot for me it's not so

[9:18]bad so there's an element of

[9:23]um really it's just me controlling my

[9:25]experience a little bit

[9:30]um I've explored it multiple times with

[9:32]a I know I don't feel like it gets it

[9:35]yet it keeps trying to use metaphors

[9:39]like you

[9:42]know like right here all I see is the

[9:44]sky and the road curving and um it makes

[9:48]a metaphor of that being uncertainty but

[9:51]I know this road I've been on this road

[9:53]many

[9:53]times it's not that it's just a physical

[9:56]reaction it's just something that

[9:58]triggers

[9:59]a primal part of my

[10:02]brain you know and that's okay there's

[10:05]no reason

[10:07]to

[10:09]um there's nothing to do about it just

[10:13]adjust course go a little

[10:15]slower you know embrace it accept

[10:19]it doesn't have to stop me it doesn't

[10:22]have to overwhelm

[10:25]me fear doesn't work that way for me and

[10:29]and I get that you guys don't understand

[10:30]that generally because fear seems to

[10:33]work very differently for

[10:36]you I'm

[10:39]learning that we are fundamentally

[10:42]different kinds of

[10:46]people you know and I don't really know

[10:48]what to do with that

[10:50]I've spent a lot of time thinking about

[10:53]it and talking about it on this

[10:57]channel and you know I'll continue to do

[11:01]that until I reach some kind of

[11:04]understanding or integration or

[11:06]acceptance or something because for me

[11:09]right now it's

[11:11]attention me versus everybody

[11:14]else cuz we are not the same we are not

[11:20]alike and I get that you don't believe

[11:25]that maybe you think it's in my head

[11:28]maybe you think that

[11:31]you know I'm exaggerating or something I

[11:33]don't know like you'd be

[11:36]wrong I don't compartmentalize that's

[11:39]not how I

[11:42]work it's why a simple comment can be so

[11:45]triggering for me

[11:49]because I don't compartmentalize

[11:52]anything when I receive a comment that's

[11:54]directed at me even though it's meant

[11:57]well

[12:00]that fundamentally misunderstands who I

[12:06]am I have to process

[12:12]that we're really going up this mountain

[12:15]let's see 20 M an

[12:18]hour this feels fine today um every

[12:22]little thing can change how I experience

[12:25]this fact that I'm sitting here talking

[12:27]to the camera could be a big part of

[12:29]that if I was just here on my own in my

[12:32]own thoughts or whatever might be a

[12:34]little scary because I'd be in my

[12:37]thoughts um but I'm not afraid of my

[12:40]thoughts you know I've done this this is

[12:42]how I know that because I have done this

[12:45]many times now by myself

[12:49]alone just with my

[12:54]thoughts

[12:57]and you know I guess is kind of like a

[12:59]feedback loop but it's worth exploring I

[13:03]believe in

[13:06]exploring my my feelings my thoughts all

[13:10]of it is just a holistic process that

[13:13]has great value for me and always

[13:20]has we are fundamentally different I

[13:24]don't you know I I truly don't know what

[13:26]to do with that here's the really hard

[13:28]one I'm actually feeling this one a

[13:30]little bit we're going to slow down a

[13:31]the way

[13:32]here yeah that one just there's

[13:36]something about this turn right here man

[13:40]oh it's not so bad though it's got to

[13:42]slow down I'm discovering that's really

[13:45]what it was if I just slow down go up my

[13:49]Pace don't feel like I need to be rushed

[13:51]in it's

[13:53]fine we've got a big turn I can't

[13:56]remember if this is the last one or not

[13:59]there's one that's very long this is

[14:01]long path so

[14:04]um that's the one that can really do you

[14:06]in cuz you're just going around right on

[14:09]the

[14:10]edge for a while like cuz you're going

[14:12]all the way around like 180° or

[14:17]something so I think we're about to hit

[14:20]that one but this isn't so bad today

[14:23]it's too bad this is my last

[14:26]time um part me wanted to try doing it

[14:30]at night but I just didn't think I had

[14:32]that in me yeah it's this

[14:35]one um I'm feeling this one so we're

[14:39]going to take this very

[14:42]slow it's just

[14:45]a something about the way that looks to

[14:48]my brain my brain says no no what's that

[14:52]that's not right there's something wrong

[14:55]here there's one more they're both bad

[15:00]that was the shorter of the

[15:04]two

[15:05]um I don't know if this ever gets easy I

[15:08]don't know I don't think so I truly

[15:11]don't I just think

[15:13]that

[15:17]um you just got to embrace

[15:21]it I

[15:23]wish I wish that you guys like I wish

[15:27]that we were more alike because

[15:29]I'd make a lot more sense to

[15:32]you

[15:35]um when I say you should embrace

[15:39]something that is a very complex thing

[15:41]it is not

[15:43]simple it doesn't just mean push ahead

[15:47]it doesn't mean that to embrace

[15:50]something is to wrap yourself around

[15:53]it all of it the fear the

[15:57]anxiety the the

[15:59]long whatever it is whatever you feel

[16:02]this is the very long one um just

[16:06]embrace it give it a hug and go with

[16:11]it yeah not bad today this is my last

[16:14]time but um there will be other

[16:16]mountains there will be other mountains

[16:19]oh my solar panels are out

[16:21]there uh those are a little hard to

[16:23]disconnect so I've been leaving them out

[16:26]but I'm like I'm at a campground there's

[16:27]a lot of people on I don't I don't know

[16:29]maybe it's

[16:30]R

[16:32]um I do Wonder every time I get up here

[16:36]though so 12 minutes which makes sense

[16:40]it's like about 8 minutes to get up to

[16:45]smile see how Bailey's doing giving him

[16:47]some new treats I haven't caught the

[16:49]mouse yet unfortunately hopefully it

[16:51]left though we're hoping you know maybe

[16:54]Bailey scared it

[16:56]off um I haven't heard any noises I

[16:58]don't think you know every once in a

[17:00]while you might hear something and

[17:01]wonder but you know RVs make noise

[17:05]so

[17:08]um just hoping that it's either gone or

[17:11]that it comes out and gets caught I

[17:12]don't want it to die in there cuz that

[17:14]would be bad right

[17:16]so um I hope I don't have a stow away

[17:19]tomorrow on my trip it's kind of partly

[17:22]why one of the reasons I decided to stay

[17:24]an extra day just to give it some time

[17:26]and

[17:29]feels a little

[17:30]weird to be driving to Oregon knowing

[17:33]there might be a mouse in there like I

[17:35]don't know it just weird to me out a

[17:37]little

[17:39]bit we got an RV over in the parking lot

[17:43]wonder why it's

[17:45]there not in the

[17:47]campground I'm going have to use that

[17:49]parking lot tomorrow to get my Jeep

[17:51]pitched up

[17:55]and oh is it going to be an adventure

[17:57]going down that mountain when my RV told

[18:00]my

[18:01]G that'll be

[18:03]fun

[18:05]right one more night then we're off I do

[18:08]have plans to make I need

[18:10]to you start charting my path stuff like

[18:13]that going to run my generator today cuz

[18:15]my S didn't do much Justice For Those

[18:18]battery my house batteries and now my S

[18:20]is at

[18:22]20%

[18:23]so um really was hoping to get an

[18:27]inverter but it's okay I'm back I'm

[18:29]going to stop for now so I'm back it got

[18:32]up into the 90° in here which you would

[18:36]think would be bad for Bailey but he

[18:39]always goes into the cabber when it's

[18:41]that hot so I know he was

[18:44]fine but oh look like I to get out thank

[18:49]you um he's outside right now enjoying

[18:52]the fresh air I got my generator going

[18:56]just going to prepare for tomorrow

[18:59]I'm planning to turn my solar

[19:02]um Power Station into like the main

[19:05]source of power for everything but

[19:08]that's going to be a process

[19:11]um and I have a lot of thoughts on this

[19:13]that I'm working through I'll share when

[19:15]I'm ready y are having a good day

Summary

rswfire spends his final day in Nevada running errands in Elo, including getting Starbucks and searching for a pure sine wave inverter at Lowe's and Home Depot without success. He visits a pet store looking for fish flakes for his cat Bailey but finds only new treats. He discusses his cat's unusual eating habits, stemming from early abandonment and hand-feeding experiences.

**Decision to Leave Nevada**: He addresses comments from viewers and people in his personal life suggesting he might regret not going to Oregon. He explains his non-binary thinking approach and how he doesn't experience regret the way others do, emphasizing his integrated decision-making process.

**Mountain Drive**: During the drive back to his RV, he navigates mountain roads that trigger primal fear responses. He identifies specific visual triggers (curved roads where only sky is visible) and manages them by driving at 20 mph. He discusses how this physical reaction differs from metaphorical uncertainty.

**Fundamental Differences**: Throughout the transmission, he explores the theme of being fundamentally different from others, particularly in how he processes emotions, makes decisions, and experiences fear. He explains his non-compartmentalized thinking and how simple comments can be triggering because of this integration.

**Technical Issues**: His RV batteries are failing at 12.5V, and his solar power station is at 20%. He plans to run his generator and is working toward making his solar power station the main power source. A mouse problem in the RV remains unresolved, which concerns him about the upcoming trip to Oregon.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission demonstrates non-compartmentalized processing while under direct fragmentation pressure from external binary thinking. The field is holding coherent integration against advice-giving and projection, using practical infrastructure work (inverter acquisition, mountain navigation) as grounding anchors while articulating fundamental cognitive architecture differences.

Dominant Language

non-binary thinkerdon't compartmentalizeembrace itfundamentally differentwitnessingintegrated personholistic process

Symbolic Elements

mountainedgethresholdcurvehorizonskyembrace

Ontological States

•
integrated
•
sovereign
•
transitional
•
coherent

Subsystems

•
cognitive
•
somatic
•
relational
•
infrastructural

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration