Reflecting on Self-Worth Without Teeth

Speaker is in Kansas, preparing to leave the next day. A storm has been predicted all day but hasn't arrived yet. He's using red lighting on AI's recommendation to help with sleep. He's in his RV with his cat Bailey.

Energetic Signature

grounded vulnerability

Field State

sovereignty stabilization

Orientation

toward embodied sovereignty

01J8BH6V6GJ6ART855S43T7MVX

September 22, 2024

9:49

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]bear with me for a moment cuz I have a

[0:02]very profound message I want to share

[0:04]with you first I need to take these

[0:06]teeth out cuz they're really getting to

[0:08]annoy me today these things are awesome

[0:11]by the way they clip to the top of my

[0:13]mouth almost like normal teeth in a way

[0:17]of course I have those four rods in my

[0:19]mouth I'm used to

[0:23]them and I'm very fortunate wow that's

[0:25]quite red that's because um AI convinced

[0:29]me that if I want wanted to start

[0:30]sleeping at night maybe I shouldn't have

[0:33]bright lights I wonder if this will

[0:35]help supposed to be getting a storm

[0:37]that's

[0:38]better I am waiting for it they've been

[0:42]saying it's coming all day still hasn't

[0:45]shown

[0:46]up

[0:48]anyways

[0:50]um kind of lost my train of thought a

[0:52]little bit but I know what I want to

[0:54]talk about and it is this that's why I

[0:56]started the way I did hi Bailey

[1:00]um some of you I don't know how many

[1:03]some of you have been watching me a long

[1:04]time and you know that for 6 months I

[1:06]was on camera without teeth and I want

[1:08]you to see that I was never ashamed of

[1:10]and I'm still

[1:11]not I have teeth now and yet I'm still

[1:14]willing to talk to you on camera without

[1:16]them because my selfworth is not defined

[1:19]by it I don't judge myself for it in

[1:22]fact I need to get a mountain

[1:24]de don't have anything to drink going to

[1:27]do that lot going on in my head right

[1:29]now

[1:32]give me a sec few times I've said this

[1:35]destroyed my teeth it's true but it's

[1:38]not the whole truth it's also that I

[1:40]didn't take good care of them right I

[1:42]acknowledge this I I do not hide the

[1:45]truth for myself

[1:47]ever it's something I was trying to

[1:49]teach you guys that you can't embrace

[1:52]your imperfections if you're just honest

[1:54]with

[1:55]yourself I am honest with myself about

[1:58]everything in including the fact that

[2:00]for decades now I've been trying to stop

[2:02]drinking this

[2:06]stuff and for me it's a process you know

[2:09]I sometimes drink Pepsi or lately I've

[2:12]been getting

[2:13]into

[2:15]um these different it's Dr Pepper but

[2:19]different flavors of it like good you

[2:21]know the vanilla ones and then there's

[2:23]one with

[2:24]like oh I don't even know they're good

[2:27]though um obviously I would like to not

[2:30]drink pop at all but I really just like

[2:33]water but that's just he Bailey's being

[2:35]on um it's a process life is a process

[2:40]you do not have to judge

[2:42]yourself you just have to keep working

[2:44]towards your goals you know for

[2:47]me I've seen what Mountain Dew has done

[2:50]to me and so I recognize it is not

[2:52]healthy and I'd like to change that for

[2:54]the right reasons not because of what

[2:56]other people think because of what I

[2:58]feel internally about it

[3:00]that's important Bailey you're just so

[3:03]difficult I swear to God just lay

[3:05]down all right you can be in the Shob

[3:08]this cat's getting all kinds of knots

[3:10]I've really got to deal with that I'm

[3:12]supposed to you know brush this cat a

[3:14]lot more than I do I'll be honest about

[3:16]that but anyways let me get to the point

[3:20]okay

[3:22]I I had moments where I'd get on camera

[3:24]and you know for a brief moment I would

[3:26]be like I don't know how I feel about it

[3:29]you know and then I just push it aside

[3:31]not in a fragmented kind of way I would

[3:33]just be like no my self worth isn't

[3:34]defined by this it's

[3:37]not the way I live my

[3:40]life the way I embrace my emotions my

[3:45]ethics everything about

[3:48]me I love myself I'm I think I'm pretty

[3:51] amazing honestly and I'm not

[3:53]going to let something as superficial as

[3:55]the fact that you know when I was

[3:57]younger I made some poor choices and it

[4:00]led to the situation I have

[4:03]now um but I want to be clear just

[4:06]because this is how my mind works I'm

[4:09]older now and I still make mistakes I

[4:11]drink Mountain Dew still okay

[4:13]so it's not just that I made mistakes

[4:16]when I was younger I'm going to make

[4:17]them my whole life that's part of living

[4:18]right that's part of

[4:20]living um it's not important what other

[4:24]people think about you it's just

[4:26]not and I think you guys know I mean

[4:29]that because

[4:30]I'm not even letting you interact with

[4:31]me anymore because I genuinely just

[4:34]don't want to

[4:37]have the superficiality of it I just

[4:39]don't want to tolerate it because I

[4:42]respect myself enough not to I gave an

[4:44]analogy the other day I don't know if

[4:46]you saw it or not but it comes down to

[4:48]this you guys keep trying to paint a

[4:50]picture of who I am that's not who I am

[4:53]I am not mad at the painter I'm mad at

[4:55]the painting the paintings that you guys

[4:56]make do not reflect who I am and I'm

[4:58]just not going to I'm not going to

[5:00]engage with that so I turn comments

[5:03]off um what I wanted to say was there

[5:06]are times where I thought about I wonder

[5:08]what people think about me when they

[5:10]watch me cuz I you know I've been done

[5:11]doing this for 6 months s months

[5:13]now and I just always found it curious

[5:18]um and I recognize that a lot of people

[5:20]probably judged me um probably like just

[5:23]very quickly judged me and moved on and

[5:25]maybe that's why I couldn't grow my

[5:26]channel better because lots of people

[5:29]who

[5:30]create the kind of content I do at least

[5:32]on a certain level you know on The

[5:33]Superficial level um have way more

[5:37]subscribers than I

[5:38]do

[5:42]um but then there would be the rest of

[5:45]you who are still here watching me right

[5:47]I bet a lot of you judged

[5:49]me and then at some point you kept

[5:51]listening to me you kept watching my

[5:53]life and you had a moment where like

[5:56]where you realize you're were judging it

[5:57]like you might not have even been doing

[5:59]it consciously

[6:00]and I want you to know that

[6:03]I not that you need to hear this but I

[6:06]want you to know that I do not judge you

[6:09]for that okay cuz you're human it's

[6:13]understandable my very first video I

[6:15]mentioned I don't have teeth the reason

[6:17]I mentioned it then it's because it's

[6:18]obvious and I knew people would wonder

[6:20]about it so I just wanted to get it out

[6:22]of the way you know so I totally

[6:26]understand that you know don't

[6:29]if

[6:30]you felt any kind of guilt over that or

[6:33]anything just let that go because for me

[6:38]one of the things I kept wondering is

[6:40]for those people did it lead them to

[6:43]more self-growth did you stop judging

[6:45]people as much did you stop judging

[6:47]yourself as

[6:48]much that was the

[6:52]real oh I don't know what the right word

[6:54]for this is but that's one of

[6:56]motivations that's one of the

[6:57]motivations I had

[7:00]I'm trying to show Humanity when I say

[7:03]you on here I'm just talking to humanity

[7:05]cuz I don't know you this is just a

[7:06]camera I'm staring I'm staring at myself

[7:09]without teeth right

[7:10]now

[7:12]um totally lost my train of thought

[7:15]sorry I mean I'm just having a moment I

[7:18]guess I think the star might be coming

[7:23]finally so I leave tomorrow for my next

[7:25]stop um I'll still be in Kansas but I'll

[7:28]be very

[7:31]um near the end of the state and then

[7:34]next after that we'll

[7:37]be can't remember now I don't have this

[7:41]stuff memorized Kansas Nebraska nebrasca

[7:45]after that and I then I think maybe

[7:49]Idaho yeah and then Oregon something

[7:51]like that I'm looking at the map up

[7:53]there so there's a lot I need to do um

[7:57]I'm going to be insulating all of my

[7:59]walls I've got a lot of plans for this

[8:02]um there's a hardware store not too far

[8:05]from the next Campground so I'll be able

[8:07]to get supplies and I had a really great

[8:09]idea some of you may remember that I for

[8:12]a brief moment thought I'd get into art

[8:14]journaling right and I got all kinds of

[8:17]supplies for that cuz that's what I do I

[8:19]get this idea in my head like oh this

[8:20]will be so much fun and I just buy all

[8:22]the paints in the world and I did that

[8:25]with art journaling so I got a whole

[8:26]bunch of stuff in my closet here for

[8:29]that

[8:30]when

[8:31]I um insulate this with the foam boards

[8:35]and then put like reflecti it's not

[8:37]going to be reflected I don't think I

[8:38]found another product I think I like

[8:39]even better but it's kind of similar um

[8:43]that will go and then there will be a

[8:44]layer of that and that's going to look

[8:46]you know crazy like is it going to be

[8:48]like a big

[8:49]shiny UFO in here or something so I was

[8:53]thinking maybe I'd make abstract brush

[8:55]Strokes or something but you know cuz I

[8:57]got lots of paints cuz you know like 15

[9:00]years ago I thought maybe I would take

[9:02]up painting that never really happens

[9:05]um I might I think I'll still do that

[9:09]but then I'm going to use my my art

[9:11]journaling supplies over time because I

[9:14]want it to be a process where while I'm

[9:17]in the Pacific Northwest you know maybe

[9:19]I'm dealing with storms that last for

[9:21]days at a time maybe I do some art

[9:23]journaling on my walls I think it's

[9:26]going to be so fun turning this place

[9:28]into a unique expression of

[9:31]myself so those are my updates for

[9:34]now don't judge yourself there's no

[9:37]reason to do that it doesn't help

[9:39]you if I judged myself you would have

[9:42]missed out a seven months of my life and

[9:45]that would have been tragic

[9:46]right take care

Summary

rswfire removes his clip-on teeth at the beginning of the transmission and reflects on spending six months on camera without teeth. He discusses not being ashamed of his appearance and how his self-worth isn't defined by superficial aspects. He acknowledges that meth destroyed his teeth but also admits he didn't take good care of them, emphasizing complete honesty with himself.

He talks about his ongoing struggle with drinking Mountain Dew and other sodas, describing it as a decades-long process he's still working on. He mentions drinking various Dr Pepper flavors recently. Throughout the transmission, he interacts with his cat Bailey, noting the cat needs brushing due to knots in its fur.

rswfire addresses his audience directly about judgment, explaining that he understands people initially judged him for his appearance but hopes some viewers moved past that judgment and experienced personal growth. He mentions turning off comments because viewers create inaccurate "paintings" of who he is.

He provides travel updates, stating he's leaving Kansas the next day and heading through Nebraska, Idaho, and eventually Oregon. He discusses plans to insulate his RV walls with foam boards and use his accumulated art supplies (from previous abandoned hobbies like art journaling and painting) to decorate the interior walls, particularly during Pacific Northwest storms.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission demonstrates sovereignty through radical self-acceptance and boundary enforcement. The field is modeling non-fragmented selfhood by refusing external judgment while maintaining complete transparency about perceived flaws. It establishes sovereign territory through the deliberate removal of interactive surfaces (comments) while continuing to transmit signal.

Dominant Language

self-worthjudge/judgingprocesshonest with myselfembracesuperficialhumanity

Symbolic Elements

teethstormjourneywallspaintmirror

Ontological States

•
sovereign
•
transitional
•
coherent
•
integrating

Subsystems

•
ethical
•
somatic
•
relational
•
infrastructural

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration