[0:01]hello fellow
[0:06]humans this is a difficult message for
[0:11]me I don't want it to be misunderstood I
[0:14]need you to understand that I am being
[0:16]straightforward right now there
[0:19]is my
[0:24]words should be taken at face value
[0:30]for six months I have
[0:33]been trying to
[0:38]model how I live my
[0:40]life because I wanted to inspire
[0:45]you not for selfless
[0:49]reasons but because when I look at the
[0:53]world and I see so much fragmentation
[0:57]everywhere it is harmful to me
[1:00]and I wanted
[1:04]to try to make the world a better
[1:08]place and the only way that I know
[1:13]how my channel I have nearly 400 videos
[1:17]in 6 months I have been sharing so much
[1:19]of my life in in detail in
[1:22]depth I've showed you how I work through
[1:24]problems how I work through emotions how
[1:26]I work through fear through grief
[1:28]through through challenges with every
[1:33]aspect of
[1:36]life I've shown you how I think how I
[1:39]engage with the world
[1:43]how I find ways to
[1:46]connect in ways that
[1:50]align with the kind of connection
[1:56]I I value like Jeep ducking or
[2:02]giving a peace sign to a man I think
[2:05]might feel like he's invisible in the
[2:11]world I've shared some insights with you
[2:14]not all of them in a kind
[2:18]way although I've
[2:23]tried because when I go
[2:25]hiking on Labor Day weekends and people
[2:29]are literally L Al ignoring me even
[2:32]though I'm stepping aside for them on a
[2:33]trail they're not acknowledging
[2:36]me I see deep disconnection in that and
[2:40]I extrapolate that
[2:42]to societal
[2:49]systems and I want to see change in the
[2:55]world because what I see is a complete
[2:58]systemic collapse
[3:00]coming
[3:02]soon and I've been preparing for
[3:05]that not just physically but mentally
[3:10]emotionally because I know that when it
[3:14]comes I'm going to have to face it just
[3:17]like all of you but I am integrated I
[3:21]have integrated cognition which means I
[3:24]cannot turn away from what I see none of
[3:27]it I will experience all of it
[3:33]and so my feelings on that
[3:35]are are
[3:37]nuanced maybe even contradictory from
[3:40]your
[3:42]perspective there's
[3:48]anger but there's not just anger there's
[3:51]also deep empathy for everyone
[4:00]there's
[4:03]disappointment and I've shared those
[4:05]things
[4:07]also I've also tried to share with
[4:10]you how I grow and
[4:14]adapt how I think about systems because
[4:17]I've been programming computers since
[4:19]the sixth grade I wired my brain for
[4:21]systems thinking and it shielded me in
[4:25]large part from the fragmentation in the
[4:28]world
[4:30]but this world deeply
[4:34]affected my holistic perspective on my
[4:39]holistic cognition my integrated
[4:42]cognition
[4:43]where all of
[4:46]this chaos in the world I was taking it
[4:49]in and trying to make sense of it all
[4:52]and it
[4:53]just made my life exceptionally
[4:56]challenging for decades it was a lot of
[4:59]hard work to reach the level of
[5:01]integration I have
[5:03]now and now that I've reached that place
[5:06]I understand it all I see I understand
[5:09]this world I understand what's happening
[5:12]I understand why it's happening I even
[5:14]know how we fix
[5:19]it and I also know that we can't fix
[5:25]it and I won't explain why because it
[5:28]wouldn't be understood and it does
[5:29]doesn't matter because that's reality I
[5:31]live in
[5:36]reality and then there's my final
[5:40]point I set out to inspire you and I
[5:43]think that I've probably been hurting
[5:44]you I probably been adding to your
[5:48]fragmentation and that is an unintended
[5:51]consequence and something that I cannot
[6:01]something that I would never want to
[6:05]do and because of that I think I have to
[6:08]end my
[6:15]channel and this time not because I want
[6:17]to but because I think it's
[6:23]necessary I'm about to embark on the
[6:26]beginning of my next phase of my journey
[6:29]and this one
[6:31]is profound for me and I really wanted
[6:35]to share that with
[6:40]you but I care about
[6:43]you and I'm not
[6:50]selfish whatever
[6:53]comes I wish you the best