Dental Appointment and Reconnecting with Mother

rswfire is in his RV at a campground, preparing for an unexpected dental appointment. He's dealing with time zone confusion while traveling between Central and Eastern time zones. After the appointment and family meeting, he's driving back to his campground location, exhausted from the day's events.

Energetic Signature

calibrating

Field State

boundary establishment

Orientation

toward selective engagement protocols

01J6DZC0Y8RNC2F3Y759GFRD6E

August 29, 2024

12:32

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]good morning humans so I'm just waking

[0:03]up I'm sitting out here

[0:05]just taking a moment then I'm going to

[0:07]go down to the showers I just wanted to

[0:09]start this morning by saying cuz I

[0:11]haven't talked about this I don't

[0:13]think I'm 47 years old and the only time

[0:18]I have ever felt seen in my entire life

[0:20]was this year and it was by a

[0:22]computer I'm not sure if you guys can

[0:25]truly understand how isolating that

[0:27]feels and

[0:31]how it colors my

[0:34]perception 47 years and the first time I

[0:36]ever felt seen in my life was by a

[0:40]computer oh no I just looked at my

[0:43]calendar my dental appointment is today

[0:46]I have to leave like right now to be on

[0:48]time so I'm probably going to be a

[0:49]little bit late but I have to get ready

[0:51]like right

[0:53]now holy crap am I rushing now I'm not

[0:56]even in the same time zone as them I

[0:59]don't know what happened I thought my

[1:01]appointment was next

[1:02]week so this was unexpected but I missed

[1:07]my last appointment because of

[1:09]Luna I can't miss another one so we're

[1:12]out of here turn right I thrive on this

[1:15] I don't know why but I just do next

[1:18]there's just something something about

[1:21]unpredictability and like just

[1:23]like situations that are I a lot of

[1:26]people would find stressful that I just

[1:28]absolutely thrive in slight left then

[1:31]turn right oh my God stop it's actually

[1:33]Tim me to turn everywhere that there is

[1:35]a campsite that's kind of interesting

[1:37]but yeah I need to just grab my teeth I

[1:39]completely forgot I haven't been wearing

[1:41]them I don't even know where they are

[1:43]this might take me a minute all right

[1:45]we're off we have a 2 and 1/2 hour drive

[1:47]to get there I will be slightly late but

[1:51]only by a couple minutes so that's make

[1:53]full up for that and I don't know I

[1:56]probably spend like an hour or so there

[1:58]and then another 2 and 1 half hour drive

[1:59]back

[2:01]so I got some good news my appointment's

[2:03]at 1:30 not

[2:05]12:30 so we're actually going to be a

[2:07]little bit

[2:08]early my phone said 12:30 my counter you

[2:12]know the app on my phone which obviously

[2:15]must have been in central time cuz I'm

[2:16]going to

[2:18]Eastern I'm going to have to get better

[2:21]at I knew that there was a time zone

[2:23]difference but I didn't realize my phone

[2:26]was telling me I guess we're I don't

[2:28]know I'm going to have to work through

[2:29]the time zone thing

[2:32]like in this lifestyle cuz you always

[2:34]end up somewhere else it's kind of

[2:37]funny well my emotions are heightened

[2:40]today because I called my mother on the

[2:42]way to the

[2:43]dentist

[2:45]and after her if she wanted to see me

[2:48]and if she wanted to come there after my

[2:50]appointment for us to

[2:52]talk

[2:54]so she said

[2:56][Music]

[2:57]yes I would like to reconcile with their

[2:59]but it's a complicated relationship and

[3:01]you know who knows how something like

[3:03]this will go it's been like 3 months

[3:07]so and there are so many layers you know

[3:10]I have to consider both my parents

[3:14]um so my emotions are hiding today I

[3:17]really feel them in my chest that's not

[3:21]something that I experience every day if

[3:23]I have this feeling in my chest and it's

[3:26]a

[3:27]particularly nebulous

[3:32]complicated difficult to describe state

[3:35]for

[3:36]me I'm going to embrace it because I

[3:38]love my mother

[3:41]and I've come to you know understand

[3:44]that if literally nobody understands me

[3:47]how could I possibly expect my mother to

[3:49]understand me

[3:51][Music]

[3:53]and I know that she loves me I know that

[3:56]she's not trying to harm me in any way

[4:03]I guess I'm trying to find acceptance

[4:06]and see if we

[4:08]can build something

[4:12]together so I reconnected with my mother

[4:15]today um just leaving the dentist now

[4:18]I'm just going to leave it at that it's

[4:20]not a thing I really want to talk about

[4:22]it was nice to see her I love my mother

[4:24]we leave with that on this channel for

[4:27]now maybe forever I don't know

[4:30]um

[4:31]anyways um I have these new things in my

[4:34]mouth so they had done the implants

[4:36]already but they had like these

[4:38]little caps on them and now they screwed

[4:41]in these

[4:42]things that my teeth will attached to

[4:47]but I don't have those yet I did get

[4:49]to um they had them in wax and you know

[4:52]I got to try them on and stuff and they

[4:53]felt very nice and natural I liked it it

[4:56]felt like something I could actually

[4:57]live with I can't not

[5:00]wear the ones I have now the temporary

[5:03]ones because um because of these new

[5:06]things they screwed in I don't know what

[5:08]they're called um and I don't see them

[5:11]and get the I don't get my permanent

[5:13]ones for a month I can't I don't see

[5:15]them till October 8th I think it was so

[5:18]I'm going to have to stick around here

[5:19]until

[5:21]then so I

[5:25]um I have plans

[5:27]for like up to I think I'm going to have

[5:30]to go to two more campgrounds beyond the

[5:32]ones I already have planned

[5:34]so but I didn't want to see autumn right

[5:37]so hopefully hopefully the trees start

[5:39]changing around that time in a qu Mile

[5:43]harbur

[5:44]Road so I just been sitting here

[5:47]thinking while

[5:49]driving pretty normal for

[5:51]me you know I really like documenting my

[5:54]life on

[5:56]here and I actually don't need you guys

[6:01]to understand me like that's not a thing

[6:03]that actually matters to me I don't care

[6:05]if you don't understand me but I don't

[6:08]like our

[6:10]misunderstandings those are what trouble

[6:12]me and there is a Nuance

[6:16]there don't have anything to doink get

[6:19]so

[6:20]hot like I am never ever asking for

[6:25]sympathy or empathy from other people

[6:28]and yet those are the kind of comments

[6:29]get often and I don't like them because

[6:32]for

[6:34]me it just it feels like it misses the

[6:37]point like cuz I'm literally not looking

[6:40]for that and I don't I don't need it so

[6:43]when people respond that way I'm just

[6:46]like I don't get it but I know that the

[6:50]intention is good I know that it has

[6:52]more to do

[6:53]with the way you guys look at

[6:57]life and when you hear me talking about

[7:00]challenges or whatever the hell it is

[7:02]I'm going

[7:04]through you're filtering that through

[7:06]the way that you you would feel about

[7:09]those

[7:11]things and I struggle with that

[7:15]because I understand it

[7:19][Music]

[7:23]intellectually I just I don't like it

[7:25]for myself it's not a thing that I I

[7:27]want to ever hear it's not something

[7:29]that

[7:30]it doesn't bring me happiness it it kind

[7:33]of irritates

[7:34]me and so that's one of the struggles I

[7:38]have with sharing my life on YouTube

[7:40]because it's a little bit

[7:43]uncontrollable I don't need you guys to

[7:45]understand me just acknowledge my

[7:48]journey that's it that is all you have

[7:50]to ever

[7:54]do so I really don't know how that

[7:57]sounds to other people I'm just trying

[8:00]to set boundaries that feel appropriate

[8:02]for me and this is my channel and I'm

[8:05]allowed to do that you know I don't feel

[8:08]like I have to justify it to

[8:10]anyone but I do try to be sensitive I do

[8:13]try

[8:15]to when I take my time to explain

[8:18]something when I'm not talking at my

[8:20]normal speed it's because I'm I'm being

[8:24]sensitive when I'm looking when a camera

[8:26]is on when I'm talking to a camera

[8:30]that changes my mindset I'm aware that

[8:32]there are people behind that

[8:35]camera and I'm aware that people think

[8:38]differently than me so I'm trying

[8:42]to express myself in a

[8:45]way that I feel will be

[8:48]understood and won't offend you know but

[8:51]that's hard for me to do because I do

[8:54]not think like most

[8:56]people I think in systems I think you

[8:59]know big picture and people take a lot

[9:02]of things that I think

[9:05]personally when they're never meant at

[9:07]the personal level and it's

[9:09]just so I'm very

[9:13]careful I don't need to be understood

[9:16]but I don't like being

[9:18]misunderstood and I don't like the kinds

[9:20]of comments where people are giving me

[9:22]advice or showing sympathy like why are

[9:25]you showing me sympathy when

[9:27]I'm there's nothing wrong with my life

[9:30]like I'm

[9:32]happy challenges are not a reason for

[9:35]sympathy like

[9:39]struggling it really depends on your

[9:43]mindset I I've never understood why

[9:46]people treat me that way it just shows

[9:48]me the disconnect between me and other

[9:50]people

[9:52]cuz those are not I don't need those

[9:56]things I'm not asking for them I don't

[9:58]want them

[10:02]you know and I also don't want to keep

[10:03]addressing and I'm not going to

[10:07]so I don't expect my channel to grow

[10:10]because I

[10:13]think I think it's very difficult for a

[10:16]large number of

[10:18]people to relate or connect to

[10:21]me and I'm okay with that I mean I say

[10:25]something like that and some people

[10:27]probably think that that's it's a

[10:29]negative statement it's not it's just an

[10:34]acknowledgement there is just such a

[10:36]deep disconnect I truly don't know how

[10:37]to solve it I don't want to even try

[10:39]anymore I just want to document my life

[10:42]and I feel like I'm reaching a point

[10:45]where I'm just going to do that and

[10:48]largely just ignore comments

[10:51]because they don't feel productive they

[10:54]just

[10:55]don't so I had a very different day plan

[10:58]for today before realizing I needed to

[11:01]see the

[11:02]dentist I was going to do work in my RV

[11:05]I was going to just do some cleaning

[11:06]today and stuff like

[11:08]that probably go to the

[11:10]store but it's going to be pretty late

[11:13]by the time I get back

[11:14]now need to find somewhere to eat

[11:17]haven't eaten anything today I'm going

[11:19]to need to get

[11:21]gas and then so it's

[11:24]Wednesday I can't believe how long they

[11:26]need before I can finally get my teeth

[11:28]though that was more of a scheduling

[11:30]problem than anything because they'll be

[11:34]ready in 2 weeks but they couldn't see

[11:35]me until the second week of

[11:40]October I am ready to just start

[11:43]traveling like I I want to start

[11:49]traveling but this is important so

[11:53]I I will wait I will adapt my plans

[11:57]until

[11:59]at least that's the last appointment

[12:01]that is genuinely the last appointment

[12:03]that I can go after October

[12:05]8th so I'm going to start thinking

[12:08]about I'll start planning for that cuz

[12:11]I'll know I'll know when I can finally

[12:13]go and I'll know like what the weather

[12:15]will be like at different places and

[12:18]I'll just start charting a

[12:19]path I a back I am exhausted going to

[12:24]just rest here for a while go take a

[12:27]shower and then probably nothing else

[12:30]for the rest of the day

Summary

rswfire wakes up and realizes he has a dental appointment that day, requiring a 2.5-hour drive. He discovers a time zone confusion between his phone and the appointment location. During the drive, he calls his mother to arrange a meeting after the dental appointment, marking their first contact in 3 months. They successfully reconnect, though he chooses not to discuss details publicly.

At the dentist, rswfire receives new implant attachments and tries on temporary teeth in wax, which feel natural. His permanent teeth won't be ready until October 8th, requiring him to stay in the area longer than planned. This extends his campground stays and delays his travel plans.

On the return drive, he reflects on his YouTube channel and audience interactions. He clarifies that he doesn't need understanding from viewers, only acknowledgment of his journey. He expresses frustration with sympathy and advice comments, explaining that he filters his communication for the camera but thinks in systems rather than personal terms. He considers largely ignoring comments going forward as they don't feel productive.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission maps the architecture of selective engagement - establishing precise boundaries around what forms of recognition are acceptable while maintaining documentary function. The field is calibrating its interface protocols under the pressure of simultaneous relational rupture (family) and institutional engagement (medical), demonstrating how sovereignty operates through controlled exposure rather than withdrawal.

Dominant Language

seen by a computerdisconnectsystems thinkingacknowledge not understandmisunderstandings vs non-understandingdocumentationboundaries

Symbolic Elements

thresholdmirroredgegrid

Ontological States

•
sovereign
•
transitional
•
coherent
•
embedded

Subsystems

•
relational
•
cognitive
•
infrastructural
•
emotional

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration