Surrendering Luna to County Shelter

rswfire is in his RV at a campground, preparing for a travel day to move to a new location an hour and a half away. He has just returned from surrendering Luna at the county shelter and is processing the difficult decision while managing the stress of his ongoing adjustment to RV lifestyle.

Energetic Signature

resolute grief

Field State

capacity calibration

Orientation

toward realistic self-assessment

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August 21, 2024

9:07

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]hello YouTube so I want to let you know

[0:03]that I um had to give up Luna this

[0:07]morning I gave her to a rescue U there

[0:10]will be some clips after this that just

[0:12]kind of just from this morning um most

[0:16]of why is on my patreon it's that's

[0:18]where I've been posting so um but the

[0:22]gist of it is is this environment is

[0:24]just too small for her she is still

[0:26]acclimating she's not using a litter box

[0:29]um consistently

[0:31]I spent all day yesterday cleaning up

[0:33]after her like thoroughly doing like

[0:35]deep cleaning and I had to keep doing

[0:37]that and it was stressful and so I had

[0:40]to put her back in the cage and the cage

[0:42]is small and there's just not any room

[0:45]in here and it just wasn't working I got

[0:47]her healthy that was all I could

[0:50]do and I had to um give her to the

[0:54]rescue

[0:55]here it wasn't a great situation I feel

[0:59]like that

[1:01]shelter I had my concerns but I did

[1:04]everything I could do for her given the

[1:07]you know Financial Resources I have

[1:09]available right now and her needs I just

[1:12]feel it was the right thing to do so I

[1:15]closed um my GoFundMe those there was

[1:18]only one payment on there and that

[1:20]should get refunded to the person who

[1:21]did that uh I had like two people donate

[1:25]through PayPal I will refund those and

[1:29]then there there's just a very special

[1:31]person named Patty who has been

[1:33]supportive of me from the very beginning

[1:35]of my journey and I will speak with her

[1:37]privately about how she's helped she's

[1:39]the only one who really truly I

[1:43]feel went above and beyond and you know

[1:47]I want to honor her thank you Patty I

[1:49]really really appreciate you I wish that

[1:52]I could have kept Luna I wanted to I

[1:54]wanted to integrate her into our lives

[1:56]it just I'm still adjusting to this

[1:59]lifestyle

[2:00]adding on the challenges of this kitten

[2:02]made it just

[2:05]impossible um I will say this

[2:09]much um I don't know what I'm going to

[2:11]do with my YouTube channel

[2:15]I I'm not judging I'm just was really

[2:19]hurt by the fact that nobody seemed

[2:24]to nobody seemed to to try to help me

[2:27]that much and that was very hard and I

[2:31]just it's not like you guys owe me

[2:33]anything

[2:35]obviously but I just thought that the

[2:37]people who had been following my journey

[2:39]for as long as they have um I thought I

[2:42]had built a connection with them

[2:45]so

[2:48]I I question that now it seems like I

[2:50]didn't you know so it's more than just

[2:52]Luna it's more than just um any type of

[2:55]financial support or even sharing my

[2:57]message or anything like that it's like

[2:59]wow

[3:01]I haven't connected with people here so

[3:04]I I don't know what to do with that I'm

[3:06]still processing it but I have an

[3:08]exceptionally busy day today it's travel

[3:09]day I'm moving to a new Campground an

[3:12]hour and a half away so I have a lot to

[3:15]do I hope that you guys have a wonderful

[3:18]um Wednesday and there's just some clips

[3:20]after

[3:22]this Luna's having a rough morning she

[3:25]was up top I had

[3:27]a flannel shirt up there for her she

[3:30]pooped all over it had to throw that

[3:34]out um I'm not sure what to put up there

[3:37]because anything I put up there

[3:40]is just got to stay warm

[3:43]though it's the best I can do for this

[3:46]morning she's not really

[3:51]eating I cleaned her

[3:55]up um guess we'll keep an eye on her

[4:00]I have some bad news guys I'm going to

[4:03]take Luna to an animal shelter this

[4:07]morning

[4:10]um I just I can't take care of her in

[4:13]this environment

[4:15]she's it's

[4:17]deeply difficult and problematic her

[4:20]situation

[4:23]and I just can't so I'm going to take

[4:26]her to an animal

[4:27]shelter uh the rescues would help her

[4:30]but I assume that the shelter will so

[4:32]I'm just going to go there this morning

[4:34]they open in an hour I'm going to drive

[4:36]down there and talk to

[4:38]them um might have been different if

[4:40]people helped me more but I you know

[4:45]there's that and

[4:48]then

[4:49]she's she needs a different environment

[4:52]this one is too small she's in a cage

[4:55]again she's not using the letter box

[4:58]consistently I know she's young and she

[5:00]needs

[5:02]time it's just it's impossible for me to

[5:05]do it in this environment

[5:07]so I will miss her we can be proud of

[5:11]the fact that we got her healthy she's

[5:13]alive you know she's

[5:16]well um she's young someone will adopt

[5:20]her

[5:23]I I now know that this is not something

[5:26]I can do in this little tiny RV it

[5:29]simply can't we done so we got her

[5:32]healthy that's what

[5:34]matters this space is just too small to

[5:37]care for a k with her needs it just it

[5:40]can't be done I've

[5:44]tried there is no

[5:47]room there is no space for

[5:51]this I'm sorry

[5:53]Luna I really wanted to give you a good

[5:56]life with

[5:58]me I wish that I could I truly do but I

[6:01]don't think that I can I'm not

[6:05]capable I tried I genuinely

[6:10]tried not going to say that was a

[6:12]pleasant experience at first they're

[6:13]like you can release her out

[6:15]here and she'll be

[6:18]fed I'm at the local County

[6:22]shelter they took her inside though I

[6:25]think that they're you know I just kept

[6:27]pushing I'm like look I found her on a

[6:29]campground she needs help you need to

[6:32]help her here's all of her things here's

[6:34]a dog kennel you know she needs you so I

[6:41]can't do it I'm sorry guys I wish I

[6:43]could this is very hard for me but I

[6:45]want you to see that I didn't just drop

[6:47]her off like somebody else she is at a

[6:51]shelter that is the best that I could do

[6:53]for her I got her healthy and I brought

[6:55]her to a shelter

[6:59][Music]

[7:01]these are the systems that humans have

[7:03]created for caring for these animals is

[7:05] unbelievable to

[7:08]me I get there and she's like you can

[7:10]just release her here there's a bunch of

[7:12]older cats out there you you know

[7:14]probably been there forever there's food

[7:17]everywhere and I'm like this is a tiny

[7:20]kitten

[7:22]like I got her healthy take care of her

[7:26]I really had to keep pushing at her

[7:28]about this

[7:31]I'm not happy about the situation but

[7:33]you know what I cannot

[7:36]save I can't do it I can't I just I am

[7:40]not equipped to do it first of all I'm

[7:42]still struggling with this lifestyle

[7:44]like I'm literally having trouble living

[7:45]in an

[7:47]RV

[7:50]and I just it compounded the stress so

[7:53]much that I was crying yesterday like I

[7:56]literally cannot do it and the

[7:59]counting shelter is like just release

[8:01]her right here just release her which I

[8:04]wouldn't do I made her take her made her

[8:07]get her name take her inside gave her

[8:10]the stuff you know the the dog kennel

[8:13]and all of her food and she took her

[8:15]inside I think they'll care for her I'm

[8:17]sure they have a Facebook page and all

[8:19]of that in fact I'm I'm pretty sure they

[8:21]do

[8:24]um I'm a little bit afraid to look at it

[8:27]you know

[8:29]I want to know that she turns out okay

[8:32]but I don't want to know if she doesn't

[8:33]you know so I don't know what to do

[8:35]about that well I've got to put my mind

[8:38]somewhere else right now because I do

[8:39]have to move sides today like I'm right

[8:42]here I'm at the campground I'm going

[8:44]into my spot

[8:48]and this was not something I wanted to

[8:51]do it's something I thought I had no

[8:54]choice but to do and the local County

[8:57]shelter should have

[9:02]they

[9:03]should it's insufficient

Summary

rswfire announces the difficult decision to surrender Luna, a kitten he had been caring for, to a county animal shelter. He explains that his small RV environment was inadequate for the kitten's needs - Luna wasn't consistently using the litter box, required constant cleaning, and had to be kept in a small cage. Despite getting her healthy, he determined he couldn't provide proper care in his limited space.

He closes his GoFundMe campaign and plans to refund donations, with special acknowledgment to a supporter named Patty. rswfire expresses hurt and disappointment at the lack of community support from his YouTube audience, questioning whether he had truly connected with his followers. This experience makes him reconsider his relationship with his channel and audience.

The transmission includes footage from the morning of surrender, showing Luna's condition and rswfire's preparation. At the county shelter, staff initially suggested releasing Luna outside with feral cats, but he insisted they take her inside with proper documentation and supplies. He reflects on the inadequacy of animal care systems while preparing to move to a new campground.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission maps the collision between care impulse and structural limitation, demonstrating sovereign decision-making under resource constraint. The field is calibrating its actual operational boundaries against idealized capacity, choosing structural integrity over unsustainable extension.

Dominant Language

I can't do ittoo smallimpossibleI triednobody seemed to helpnot equippedinsufficient

Symbolic Elements

cagethresholdreleaseshelter

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
constrained
•
sovereign
•
integrating

Subsystems

•
ethical
•
emotional
•
infrastructural
•
relational

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration