YouTube Reflection and Kitten Flea Treatment

The speaker is in their living space, dealing with a 6-week-old kitten named Luna who needs flea treatment. They have been living an alternative lifestyle for 5 months, struggling financially while creating YouTube content. Bailey, another pet, is present during the kitten care session.

Energetic Signature

raw tenderness

Field State

crisis navigation

Orientation

toward authentic reciprocity

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August 12, 2024

16:00

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]so I don't know how to talk about this

[0:02]without sounding ungrateful or like I'm

[0:04]complaining and I don't want to sound

[0:05]like either of those

[0:07]things but I want to acknowledge this

[0:11]because it can't go unsa it needs to be

[0:14]said you just don't know how to say it

[0:16]in the right way I'm going to try

[0:19]though so right before I got Luna I

[0:23]decided I was quitting YouTube and it's

[0:25]not the first time it's probably the

[0:27]third I think I want to explain why

[0:34]so I made a video my first video where I

[0:38]actually edited it on my desktop it was

[0:40]a hiking video and had music and stuff

[0:43]and I really liked it 40 people watched

[0:47]it 2/3 of which were my

[0:50]subscribers and it had zero likes and

[0:53]that really upset me because I couldn't

[0:56]help but

[0:57]think I've been posting sharing my life

[1:00]for 5 months like way over 300 videos

[1:03]which means at least two videos every

[1:06]day sharing my life and even if my

[1:11]subscribers didn't like that video it

[1:14]had zero support behind it like nobody

[1:16]was supporting what I was trying to

[1:19]do and it just it really upset me and

[1:22]made me feel alienated and

[1:24]isolated

[1:27]and it just got me wondering

[1:31]like who am I sharing my life with

[1:32]because it doesn't feel like these

[1:34]people care about me so why am I doing

[1:38]this and I just kind of spiral from

[1:42]there and so that day after after that

[1:46]video I went

[1:48]hiking and

[1:50]then when I got back there was

[1:55]Luna and you know I'm struggling right

[2:00]now with money like I've been living

[2:02]this lifestyle for 5 months doing my

[2:04]best to like make it

[2:07]work if you follow my journey you know

[2:09]like what a struggle I have gone

[2:11]through and I know it's not a

[2:15]traditional struggle but that's cuz I'm

[2:17]not a traditional person I'm very

[2:19]different from other people I have gone

[2:22]through so much in these 5

[2:24]months and I'm close you know I'm

[2:27]getting there but I'm not there yet

[2:31]and then Luna comes

[2:33]along and this little tiny thing needs

[2:36]me cuz nobody else is helping her this

[2:39]little tiny creature who is just

[2:41]adorable as can be and as vulnerable as

[2:46]can be dealing with some real challenges

[2:48]of her

[2:50]own and I'm

[2:52]like I guess I have to share her story

[2:55]because maybe that will get me some

[2:57]support for her

[3:00]and so that's what I've been

[3:02]doing but I I don't know how long I can

[3:07]do that for because I still don't really

[3:09]feel supported so and it's not like you

[3:12]guys owe me anything you don't you owe

[3:14]me

[3:16]nothing I

[3:18]just I thought I was building something

[3:21]that I wasn't and I've been struggling

[3:24]to understand what it is I did

[3:27]build and if there's any value in it and

[3:30]I don't just mean monetarily like value

[3:33]like is it serving a purpose is it worth

[3:37]it and I don't have the answers for that

[3:40]I guess I'll just leave it there for now

[3:43]that's that's where my head is good

[3:46]night she pooped on the bed just as I

[3:50]got her up

[3:52]here I don't know what to do that

[3:56]I'm this is not the right environment

[3:59]for this stuff so it's like I'm losing

[4:01]all my towels and my blankets

[4:05]and we have to teach her how to use the

[4:07]litter

[4:09]box oh man M was freaked

[4:12]out so I'm of the opinion that the

[4:15]smallest things in life are the

[4:17]deadliest bacteria viruses

[4:20]fleas um parasites so having Luna here

[4:24]is a challenge for me because those are

[4:26]the things that really freak me out but

[4:28]this is a 6 week old kit

[4:31]and she cannot be in a cage so we got to

[4:33]let her out of there and I'm going to

[4:35]sit here with

[4:36]her and use this flea comb I got her

[4:40]and just do what I have to do for her

[4:45]for Bailey for me like this is a

[4:47]struggle but I'm I'm

[4:50]trying I have no experience with this

[4:53]little one

[4:55]none am not sure how this is done oo

[5:01]if I can get you to just stay

[5:04]here how does that

[5:10]feel how do you even know like I don't

[5:13]see

[5:14]any

[5:16]maybe where you got you okay you just

[5:18]stay here with

[5:20]me try

[5:22]to make sure you're

[5:27]not guessing they like to go certain

[5:30]area right you got Jed a little bit for

[5:32]those blood

[5:36]tests there you go you're a good

[5:39]girl

[5:41]okay sure that thing is

[5:44]dead here we girl oh you're not going to

[5:46]like this so I'm going to get you wet

[5:49]I'm sorry I'm sorry you've already been

[5:51]through enough

[5:53]right

[5:55]sorry got to try

[5:58]to deal with

[6:03]this how does that feel does that

[6:06]hurt

[6:14]wow you got to do this okay little

[6:18]one but it's getting you out okay you're

[6:21]getting out of that

[6:25]cage have a feeling we're supposed to do

[6:27]this backwards like this

[6:30]let everybody see

[6:33]you wow oh that is gross

[6:40]e okay they went

[6:43]though oh that is gross okay Bailey

[6:46]don't touch

[6:48]that I am so sorry little one but this

[6:52]is for your own

[6:54]good try to get these things off okay

[6:57]Bailey wants to say hi

[7:01]you can say hi the back if you you

[7:03]recognize you there I

[7:06]guess kind of figure out how

[7:09]to out where the pleas hang out I guess

[7:15]right guess they like your

[7:20]neck little tiny

[7:23]neck so

[7:27]tiny this is we're going to have to keep

[7:30]doing

[7:32]this right little

[7:37]girl you're doing all right you're so

[7:40]bony I just don't know what to do about

[7:44]it

[7:46]okay I

[7:50]see maybe a layered

[7:54]approach I'm not hurting you I L

[8:01]yeah this

[8:04]is this is a necessary evil little

[8:09]one our dead though this is so gross

[8:15]e poor thing things have just been

[8:18]living on

[8:20]you That ain't cool not cool at

[8:28]all quite sure how to do

[8:38]this you're so bony like I don't even

[8:41]know how

[8:43]to you're so tiny

[8:47]and such a tiny little

[8:53]girl does seem like we did a good

[8:57]job no I'm not seeing any

[9:02]anything it good I hear you I hear

[9:06]you're being real good you're such a

[9:08]good little

[9:11]girl got some little wipes for you so

[9:15]that we don't have to just drown you in

[9:17]water maybe that will

[9:22]help

[9:24]man wow this is the grossest thing I

[9:27]have ever done in my life

[9:33]W This is So Co

[9:37]e we're throwing this out

[9:41]afterward

[9:44]nope I got to move you so that we get

[9:47]you moving the um wait let me think this

[9:49]yeah we got to move you this way okay

[10:01]I guess we're just going to keep doing

[10:03]this

[10:06]until seems like you're all

[10:12]better Bailey you don't bother

[10:15]you you're a

[10:18]kitten a kitten care

[10:21]right kittens are all about

[10:25]rain I don't know how I mean cuz it just

[10:27]picks up the stuff that's done right in

[10:29]there so

[10:32]gross this is really

[10:37]gross

[10:42]wow there are he so

[10:51]many I don't know what to do little

[10:57]one going have to get underneath

[11:05]you me you're so tiny there's only even

[11:08]so much surface area for them

[11:15]right

[11:26]sorry sorry I didn't do this

[11:33]I was hoping the chemicals would do the

[11:44]job

[11:46]okay can I turn you upside down can you

[11:49]let me do that just turn you you are so

[11:52]tiny are so

[11:56]tiny good goal very good goal

[12:01]I'm not seeing a lot of problems

[12:04]here not seeing much going on over

[12:11]here really

[12:17]not you look pretty

[12:20]good what you

[12:23]doing hold on I got I only got about

[12:26]halfway I only got halfway

[12:31]that's strange I would have thought that

[12:33]would be where they would be was

[12:34]underneath hold on hold on hold on I got

[12:37]you I got you I got you you're so

[12:42]cute

[12:47]course so

[12:50]tiny

[12:52]tiny and trying to help you you know

[13:00]I

[13:07]mean I don't know didn't come to a rank

[13:10]to

[13:11]me that was pretty gross

[13:16]but don't feel like I was super thorough

[13:21]but not finding

[13:27]anything so maybe you're all

[13:35]right

[13:40]huh got a real brush for you too you I

[13:44]said to use a soft whistle

[13:47]brush with a

[13:50]kitten how does that feel like

[13:54]that you do you like that

[14:04]and you're stumped in there I weirdly

[14:08]do up there you

[14:12]go oh you're so small you are so small

[14:18]you know what I know I didn't get those

[14:19]High legs

[14:22]baby we going to have to do that okay

[14:25]like CU I just I know please they're

[14:31]sketchy little things right so

[14:35]just I totally get the unx SC totally

[14:38]expected

[14:40]that let me do

[14:43]this sorry you know this is your

[14:46]sensitive private

[14:50]area man I don't know might be all right

[14:59]one of them are

[15:00]moving Bailey's got a flea treatment so

[15:05]they touch you they

[15:07]bu you don't cuz they're too

[15:10]young so we have to do

[15:15]this

[15:17]okay maybe we got this under

[15:22]control maybe we got it under

[15:26]control I got you a bed

[15:31]my bed turn right here I got you a bad

[15:36]pig no but your grow into

[15:39]it

[15:43]sry I'm want to try it

[15:53]out

[15:55]yeah all right we're going to give this

[15:57]a try

Summary

The speaker reflects on their decision to quit YouTube after posting over 300 videos in 5 months with minimal engagement. They describe feeling unsupported when a hiking video received zero likes despite significant effort. After this disappointment, they found Luna, a 6-week-old kitten who needed care. The speaker explains their financial struggles and questions whether sharing Luna's story might generate support. The transmission then shifts to showing the speaker performing flea treatment on Luna using a flea comb, wipes, and brushing. They express discomfort with the process but continue caring for the kitten, noting Luna's small size and vulnerability. Bailey, presumably another pet, is present during the treatment.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission operates at the intersection of exposure and care, where the field confronts the gap between sharing vulnerability and receiving reciprocal support. The architecture holds both isolation and responsibility simultaneously, using the kitten as both catalyst and mirror for examining what genuine connection requires versus what performative sharing produces.

Dominant Language

supportstruggletinygrossnecessaryI don't knowlittle one

Symbolic Elements

thresholdmirrorcageparasitestiny/vulnerable creature

Ontological States

•
exposed
•
questioning
•
caregiving
•
isolated

Subsystems

•
emotional
•
relational
•
somatic
•
ethical

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration