[0:00]good morning fellow humans it's 7
[0:02]o'clock in the morning
[0:04]here got 4 hours before I got to be out
[0:07]of
[0:08]here
[0:10]and a little bit sore but not as sore as
[0:13]I would have thought I'd be after a hike
[0:14]like that I think was about 15
[0:19]miles and it was very strenuous you know
[0:23]so I expected to
[0:26]be almost immobile today but I don't
[0:29]feel that way at all I'm surprised I
[0:33]don't I'm not like bragging about my
[0:38]physical condition I'm just very
[0:40]confused by it even my younger self
[0:43]would have been like okay we're not
[0:44]doing anything today like and that was
[0:48]four miles longer than I meant to go on
[0:50]you know cuz I got on that last trail
[0:53]and it took me right back up to the
[0:55]Natural Bridge I had to hike back up
[0:59]that mountain
[1:00]and then back down it again in order to
[1:02]get to my Jeep I was not planning on
[1:05]that so it was difficult but it showed
[1:08]me how resilient I am
[1:12]because I definitely had to push myself
[1:15]I my heart was racing I actually took a
[1:18]couple breaks like cuz I could just tell
[1:20]like my heart's racing the whole time
[1:22]it's hot and muggy and I'm in my rain
[1:24]coat because I'm trying to avoid the
[1:26]mosquitoes and i' already hiked up that
[1:29]mountain many many times
[1:31]and
[1:33]um
[1:34]about I don't know like 10 miles you
[1:37]know 11 miles and then it's like oh my
[1:39]God I'm on this Trail that's not taking
[1:42]me where I thought it
[1:43]was that was
[1:47]challenging I did it though that's what
[1:50]that's what matters you
[1:54]know you can see Bailey in the
[1:58]window I'm just going to expl explain
[2:00]this so my cat was abandoned by his
[2:03]mother when he was one day old literally
[2:05]one day old he and even opened his eyes
[2:08]yet and it was winter in Michigan and
[2:10]these cats were outdoor cats and he was
[2:12]just abandoned and this woman found him
[2:16]tried to give him back to the mother the
[2:17]mother rejected it and so she took it in
[2:20]and she raised it for 6 weeks and then I
[2:22]adopted him and so this is the result
[2:25]this cat is the neediest cat I have ever
[2:27]known in my life um soon after I got him
[2:31]you know I'm taking him to the vet to
[2:32]get him his shots and everything and he
[2:35]gets really sick and so I have to nurse
[2:38]him back to health myself I'm feeding
[2:40]him with a syringe and
[2:44]um just spending all my time with him
[2:49]because I'm super worried about him you
[2:51]know and and I just developed this bond
[2:53]with him that is
[2:55]just the most profound Bond I've ever
[2:58]had with a cat but it's also extremely
[3:00]stressful so if you see me in my videos
[3:03]like come on Bailey give me some space
[3:05]it's cuz that cat does not there that
[3:08]cat does not have a definition of space
[3:10]so it's difficult and I just do the best
[3:15]that I can for him it's all I can do so
[3:18]I'm finishing up my
[3:20]laundry then I'm going to just
[3:23]everything back into my Jeep and clean
[3:25]this place up so that it looks like it
[3:28]did when I arrived cuz that's what a
[3:30]good um guess
[3:33]does and be on my way back to my RV and
[3:36]I'm hoping
[3:39]that
[3:40]um I means we've had lots of bad storms
[3:44]and things so I just don't know what I'm
[3:45]going to go back to it's been 3 days I
[3:48]think it's been maybe 3 days four days I
[3:51]guess it's been four
[3:53]days
[3:55]and push myself to do the things that
[3:58]I'm really struggling with I needed this
[4:00]break but it's not going to change the
[4:04]reality of what I'm dealing with there
[4:06]it's just going
[4:10]to you know it doesn't change anything I
[4:13]still have to do a lot there and figure
[4:16]out a way to make that lifestyle work
[4:18]for me cuz it's not right now it just
[4:21]isn't I don't think I'd want to come
[4:23]back here I've been thinking about it
[4:26]and I just don't feel like this base
[4:29]this particular cabin in this area just
[4:32]doesn't feel like the place where I'd
[4:33]want to set up
[4:35]camp it's it was nice cuz I needed you
[4:38]know I just needed something like this
[4:40]it's still not what I'm looking for
[4:42]though so I don't know what I'm going to
[4:46]do
[4:48]um it's in a weird place like you you go
[4:51]back into the this little I don't know
[4:54]what if you'd call it a neighborhood a
[4:56]subdivision or so I don't know what it
[4:58]it's a when I first got here I was
[5:02]like it it didn't feel right like some
[5:05]it just felt kind of scarying honestly
[5:08]and I'm like where am I and then you end
[5:10]up on this dirt road and you keep going
[5:12]back and there's just all these little
[5:13]airbnbs all over the place and it's you
[5:16]know um the trees behind me they're not
[5:19]that deep they're I can see to the other
[5:21]side where there's a field and I can
[5:23]hear horses over there and machinery and
[5:27]um there's just a whole lot happening
[5:30]back here this isn't this is not what
[5:32]I'm looking for
[5:34]so I guess it's a
[5:36]good um reminder to myself to spend time
[5:42]at a place before I get too excited
[5:45]about it
[5:46]because I think I tend to do that
[5:49]so I know what I'm looking for I'm
[5:52]looking for total Solitude that's what I
[5:54]want and in a natural environment like
[5:58]this one you know not like a desert or
[6:02]something
[6:04]and I'll keep working towards that
[6:07]because that's what I want that's what's
[6:08]going to bring me into alignment with my
[6:12]values and needs and make me
[6:14]feel like I'm living the best version of
[6:17]my
[6:18]life I'm thinking today
[6:20]I'll just do stuff inside the RV but
[6:23]tomorrow I'll try to get prepared for
[6:25]the tire shop cuz I got to be there
[6:27]Monday
[6:30]and um I'll start thinking through what
[6:33]is my next move what am I going to do
[6:35]next
[6:38]and yeah I'm going to rush today though
[6:40]cuz I am a little sore I'm just not
[6:42]nearly as sore as I would have thought
[6:44]I'd
[6:45]be oh and I was going to say I don't you
[6:47]know I'm probably going to just skip
[6:48]hiking for a couple days just to give
[6:50]myself a little break um I guess I'll
[6:53]start hiking again on Tuesday cuz Monday
[6:55]I'll be at the tire shop I've got to
[6:58]make that happen like you can tell like
[6:59]I'm still wanting to push that off
[7:02]another
[7:03]week
[7:05]um I can't help it I just I don't want
[7:08]to drive it down there with the tires
[7:10]the way they are and I just I'm going to
[7:12]do my best to fix that make it feel safe
[7:15]enough to
[7:17]do um there is another place nearby
[7:20]that's a lot closer if all they're
[7:22]really going to do is put on these
[7:25]extensions then maybe I should just talk
[7:27]to those people even though I'd have to
[7:29]pay them you know and um at least I
[7:32]wouldn't be driving nearly as far cuz
[7:34]it's like a mile
[7:36]away kind of been thinking of that too
[7:38]so it's kind I think that's another
[7:40]reason why I haven't really done it yet
[7:42]it's cuz I just I haven't decided you
[7:44]know I'm still weighing them in my head
[7:45]and I just haven't haven't settled on a
[7:49]course of action
[7:51]yet but I have to solve that that is a
[7:54]root issue for me like that is a
[7:57]foundational problem that so many other
[8:00]aspects of my journey that this this is
[8:02]so freaking important it's
[8:05]ridiculous oh are you hearing a rooster
[8:07]in the background because that's another
[8:09]thing I don't want to be around any of
[8:10]those things to avoid a misunderstanding
[8:14]I think I should just say I don't mind
[8:15]the horses like I'm just noting how
[8:18]close I am to you know other things like
[8:22]other like I'm still in Civilization I'm
[8:25]not truly in solitude here there's
[8:27]there's buildings and people everywhere
[8:30]there's you know there's infrastructure
[8:32]there's not truly in a cabin in the
[8:35]woods
[8:37]like it's not that far if you look over
[8:40]there you if you know look through the
[8:41]tree line You'll see in the field where
[8:43]it starts I mean it's very shallow up to
[8:46]those trees right there so that's all
[8:49]I'm
[8:50]saying I do love the Natural Bridge the
[8:52]Red River Gorge the Daniel Buu National
[8:55]Forest like this is a very special area
[8:57]in Kentucky
[9:00]this is just not the right spot for me
[9:02]so if I do come back you
[9:05]know just need to keep
[9:08]looking but I'm also contemplating that
[9:10]there are many other possibilities like
[9:13]I Lake Cumberland to me is just a
[9:15]magical place too I need to find some
[9:18]Trails there though I haven't really
[9:19]found anything
[9:21]that is very comparable to hear that's
[9:24]for sure like not even
[9:28]close he and I don't know I don't know
[9:31]if I'm I'm really contemplating what am
[9:34]I going to do in these next couple of
[9:36]seasons like am I going to I don't think
[9:38]I'm staying in Kentucky
[9:40]so probably go to Pacific Northwest I'm
[9:43]thinking but you know with winter I'm
[9:45]going to have to go somewhere
[9:48]South so I don't know Tru don't know
[9:52]maybe you guys have some thoughts on
[9:53]that maybe you know some places that I
[9:56]can Google and look at cuz I don't you
[9:58]know I don't know so
[10:00]maybe maybe help me out if you
[10:03]want I am moving slow today I'm
[10:08]tired took a shower I'm doing the last
[10:10]of my
[10:11]laundry took care of M's litter box got
[10:16]most of my stuff packed up just got to
[10:17]take it out to the
[10:19]Jeep to the
[10:21]dishes
[10:24]um I'm still moving slow I'm just moving
[10:28]slow today not looking forward
[10:31]to going back to the campground on the
[10:34]weekend you know there's going to be
[10:36]people all around me it's just going to
[10:38]be
[10:44]chaotic I'm really not happy with this
[10:48]lifestyle right
[10:50]now and I'm having to acknowledge this
[10:53]to myself
[10:55]because I mean I might like the nomadic
[10:57]lifestyle but I don't like
[11:00]many aspects of the way I'm living it
[11:03]and I don't know how to solve that yet I
[11:06]haven't I'm not sure I want to go out
[11:08]west CU it's just not in an environment
[11:10]that I like and but that's really where
[11:13]you would go if you're trying to live a
[11:16]nomadic lifestyle with
[11:18]Solitude and I just don't know
[11:23]cuz kind of feel like I just really need
[11:26]some land somewhere I can park that
[11:28]thing or I'm by myself and I can just
[11:31]build a life there and if I want to take
[11:34]a trip somewhere I can
[11:39]but discovering this is not exactly what
[11:42]I wanted it's
[11:44]not and
[11:48]that's I'm not I don't regret what I've
[11:51]done you know it's very important to
[11:54]acknowledge that this there's no regret
[11:56]here you learn things about yourself by
[11:59]taking taking risks by challenging
[12:01]yourself
[12:02]and um you learn what your values are
[12:06]you you learn what matters to you
[12:09]and something like this this cabin here
[12:12]is much closer to what I am looking
[12:19]for I just have to manifest it now
[12:22]anyway I'm going to leave it there for
[12:24]now I hope you all are having a good
[12:25]weekend