Sunday Hiking and Cognitive Style Processing

Sunday morning hike at 11 AM. rswfire is in his RV lifestyle, over 100 days into the journey, approaching 4 months. He's at a lake location with hiking trails, experiencing surprisingly good physical condition despite recent inactivity. Weather includes potential rain that eventually arrives.

Energetic Signature

grounded momentum

Field State

cognitive infrastructure stabilization

Orientation

toward embodied integration of cognitive architecture

01J3XERXCRVB6BY5QAFF0GXZKN

July 28, 2024

36:46

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Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]good morning fellow humans it's Sunday

[0:03]11:00

[0:04]a.m. decided to go hiking um I'm a

[0:07]little sore and you know I'm not nearly

[0:10]as sore as I thought I'd be I'm kind of

[0:13]surprised I guess this lifestyle even

[0:16]though I haven't been hiking like

[0:19]often I don't know I'm confused I'm

[0:22]honestly confused but you know I'll

[0:25]probably be sore after this I'm thinking

[0:28]see I haven't punished myself enough I'm

[0:30]not sore enough so I got to go

[0:33]hiking and get away from that Crazy Fire

[0:35]Starter like what the [ __ ] was that you

[0:38]know so we're just going to go

[0:41]hiking so I don't really think my

[0:43]reaction needs an explanation but you

[0:46]know he was 8 ft away from my camper and

[0:48]if that can had exploded I don't know if

[0:51]that would damage my camper or not I

[0:53]mean to me it was a very dangerous

[0:56]situation for them and for me and there

[1:00]were kids over there they were sleeping

[1:02]in I guess cuz you later I saw them and

[1:06]um that's just modeling really bad

[1:09]behavior that is just I I it just blows

[1:13]my mind that someone would do that

[1:15]that's just that was so

[1:18]reckless so anyways I

[1:22]um I just have this need to be outside

[1:24]lately I I don't really want to be in my

[1:26]camper it's not why I got into this

[1:29]lifestyle

[1:30]you know your RV is kind of like your

[1:32]home base it's your

[1:33]home you got to do stuff there

[1:38]but just don't want to be there so I had

[1:42]some aches this morning proud of myself

[1:44]for that dusted in Pepper I just wanted

[1:47]to tell you guys this little story so

[1:48]when I was a kid my mom used to do that

[1:51]she would make eggs for me and then she

[1:54]would just douse them and pepper they us

[1:56]made me so happy like you do it before I

[1:58]had to go to school every morning

[2:01]it's one of my earlier memories that

[2:03]just always stuck with me and I still do

[2:06]it I still put Lots in Lots pepp on my

[2:09]eggs at that

[2:12]me

[2:14]yeah desperately need to get myself

[2:16]cleaned up I'm going to try to do that

[2:18]today um you know I need to shave and

[2:21]just like I just need to take better

[2:22]care of myself like I would love to be

[2:24]able to use moisturizer on my face and

[2:28]just the things you doing a house but I

[2:31]just have found that very challenging

[2:32]here and I just it's been on my mind

[2:35]lately so I'm going to try to organize

[2:37]my bathroom in a way that I can figure

[2:40]out a way to just come up with a routine

[2:42]that works for me cuz I am

[2:45]weird I think I'll figure it out one of

[2:47]these days like I haven't properly

[2:50]shaved since I got on this little

[2:52]adventure of mine you know like I've

[2:53]been using my hair clippers to

[2:55]shave

[2:57]and like I never had facial hair like

[3:00]that my whole life and like all of a

[3:03]sudden I'm just

[3:04]like this life this lifestyle challenges

[3:07]me and all of

[3:09]the all of the ways that normal life

[3:11]challenged me so I just like it

[3:14]Amplified all of the things that I

[3:16]struggle with but I think it's a good

[3:19]thing I feel

[3:21]like just giving myself time and and

[3:24]keeping being mindful of the fact that

[3:26]these are things that I wanted to change

[3:28]and I'm trying to change you know will

[3:30]keep me moving in that direction

[3:32]so I'm going to master this if I want to

[3:36]so there was something I was thinking

[3:38]about I wanted to share with you guys um

[3:41]if you've seen enough of my content you

[3:43]probably have noticed like these

[3:44]patterns where I'll focus on something

[3:47]for a while and then it just kind of

[3:48]Fades into the distance into the past

[3:51]and um something replaces it like lately

[3:55]it's been my cognitive style and I

[3:57]wanted to kind of explain this

[4:00]so I only recently learned about my

[4:04]cognitive style I didn't know my whole

[4:06]life I knew I was different from others

[4:08]but I didn't know how different and it

[4:11]was a source of of Shame for me that I

[4:16]couldn't seem to connect with people and

[4:18]people just didn't seem to get me and

[4:21]you know all of that and when I

[4:23]discovered my cognitive style was like a

[4:25]light bulb went off and I started to

[4:28]understand

[4:30]and so the reason I'm focusing on it is

[4:32]because I'm still processing it I'm

[4:34]still examining all the ways that my

[4:37]brain works and how how

[4:40]that

[4:42]um I'm reexamining all of my past

[4:45]experiences you know it's like I'm

[4:48]reframing everything with this new

[4:49]knowledge that I have it's like my brain

[4:51]is updating and this is what that looks

[4:53]like it takes time it's a

[4:55]process um I don't know if for all that

[4:58]way I I would like to I think we we are

[5:01]where

[5:02]you you get a new insight and you I I I

[5:08]guess we're probably not it's I can see

[5:09]how that's a holistic way of looking at

[5:11]life so when I realized

[5:15]that when I had that light bulb moment

[5:18]it

[5:20]just there's a whole bunch of stuff

[5:22]going on in here um when I

[5:25]realized it's just

[5:27]everything it's such a pivotal important

[5:30]part of my

[5:33]identity that I'm just assessing

[5:36]everything I mean this goes all the way

[5:37]I I'll just give an example so cuz I

[5:40]haven't talked about this

[5:42]either I think my cognitive style

[5:44]developed as a result of my upbringing I

[5:47]think that growing up with a

[5:48]narcissistic parents and another parent

[5:52]who had childhood trauma that was

[5:55]unresolved and just that environment

[5:58]that I was raised in forced me to look

[6:00]at the bigger picture of things that was

[6:03]more important

[6:05]than like episodic memory I had to look

[6:08]at patterns

[6:10]and because that's how I kept myself

[6:12]safe I had to predict things I had to

[6:14]predict what's going on in the

[6:15]environment I had to understand the

[6:16]family

[6:17]Dynamics in half a mile turn right onto

[6:20]State Highway

[6:22]744

[6:24]so that also goes into so when then I

[6:27]got older and I discovered I was gain I

[6:30]hit that because I didn't feel like I

[6:32]was safe to be out me of

[6:35]this

[6:38]um it just added a whole another layer

[6:41]to that where I was constantly having to

[6:44]assess societal Trends and you know it's

[6:48]like I'm decoding life all the time this

[6:50]is how AI explains it to me I'm just

[6:52]always decoding life and it has

[6:57]become a very central part of me like I

[7:02]can't not be that way anymore like it is

[7:04]just so deeply ingrained in me that

[7:06]that's that's what I

[7:08]do and

[7:11]so my cognitive style is the result of

[7:14]trauma and that's a really hard thing to

[7:17]accept even though I actually think that

[7:19]my mind is pretty

[7:22]awesome it came about as a result of

[7:25]trauma and so there's that there's that

[7:28]angle of it and it's just just these are

[7:30]all the things that are just going

[7:31]through my mind right now I'm just

[7:33]constantly I'm analyzing everything

[7:37]because an Insight like that has just

[7:41]very deep implications so how I interact

[7:44]with other people how I'm starting to

[7:47]recognize

[7:49]that because I see the bigger picture

[7:52]and I see what's underneath of the

[7:54]societal structures we have I sometimes

[7:57]have to be careful and explain what I'm

[7:59]not not talking about individuals you

[8:01]know

[8:05]um and I'm probably going to be stuck

[8:07]here for a while because that's a lot

[8:09]that's a lot to come to terms with

[8:11]that's what I'm

[8:13]doing we're

[8:18]back nice peaceful quiet

[8:21]day there a couple cars here they're

[8:24]probably out hiking somewhere since no

[8:25]one's

[8:28]fishing just think I'm pushing

[8:31]myself um that's okay there's a certain

[8:36]momentum like once you start

[8:39]hiking

[8:40]um there a momentum all its own if you

[8:43]keep doing

[8:45]it you

[8:48]just it's it's habit foring you

[8:51]know just if you keep doing it you are

[8:54]more likely to keep doing

[8:56]it that's important I want this I need

[8:59]this

[9:04]um all of my life I've known that this

[9:07]is

[9:10]where um I used to say that hiking for

[9:15]me was like taking

[9:17]Prozac it just has this calming effect

[9:20]on me it it centers me I get I get very

[9:24]uncentered somebody's got to um

[9:30]a hammock over there interesting they

[9:33]like let's just come out here in the

[9:34]woods and set up a

[9:36]hammock oh um it might rain

[9:39]today should have brought my rain coat I

[9:41]have a cute little rain

[9:43]coat but I didn't think to do

[9:46]that I like rain

[9:48]so if it rains I'll be

[9:52]happy um it doesn't look to me

[9:55]like doesn't look eminent so I guess

[9:58]we'll find out

[10:01]but yeah I'm

[10:03]here one thing I'm discovering is that I

[10:06]truly love being around water I remember

[10:09]when I was in Tennessee going through a

[10:11]draw I had that place pretty much to

[10:16]myself and I could just sit there and

[10:18]stare at the water and it just filled me

[10:20]with peace

[10:22]and

[10:24]um I really am finding

[10:27]that these environments are good for

[10:30]me especially Lake Cumberland though I

[10:34]was so desperate to jump in that water

[10:36]yesterday cuz it was hot and muggy and

[10:38]you know all of that there a little

[10:41]there he goes there he goes can you see

[10:43]him so cute they're so

[10:48]cute oh I looked up rafts and inflatable

[10:52]ones then you can get them um some are

[10:56]quite cheap like 25 bucks I saw a real

[10:59]good one on Amazon for like

[11:02]400 um and it even included a motor so I

[11:06]didn't even consider that that was a

[11:09]possibility um and it had paddles and

[11:12]had paddles in the motor

[11:14]um and it did fit into a little bag

[11:18]seemed like it weighed quite a lot

[11:21]though

[11:23]so that's a consideration you know I

[11:25]have to be able to handle it

[11:27]myself um I don't think it's something I

[11:29]should buy online I need to I need

[11:32]to just be Hands-On about it so that I

[11:34]know what I'm getting

[11:36]into but I really want to do that I

[11:39]think that that

[11:40]is that could make a big difference in

[11:43]how I feel about when I'm doing right

[11:48]so um being able

[11:53]to

[11:55]yeah part of me really does want to live

[11:57]on a boat because I feel feel like

[11:59]that'd be easier than driving an

[12:01]RV you know

[12:04]like and easier to just kind

[12:08]of give yourself a little more

[12:11]Solitude

[12:13]and um of course it comes with its own

[12:15]set of challenges

[12:20]and I think I made a mistake I think

[12:22]that's what I should have

[12:24]done I'm just not excited about

[12:27]tomorrow I don't want want to drive it

[12:29]down to the tire place

[12:31]and especially when the tires are low on

[12:35]air I won't drive fast I was thinking

[12:37]maybe 45 M hour

[12:40]tops um you guys tell me if even that's

[12:43]too fast um should I keep my blinkers on

[12:47]the whole

[12:49]time I got to go

[12:52]like like 15 miles to get

[12:56]there I'm not excited about it I'm not

[12:59]happy about this at

[13:00]all you know and then Bailey's got to be

[13:03]in his carrier and it's just the whole

[13:05]thing is going to be a

[13:06]challenge I got to get up on top of my

[13:09]camper um in case there's three up

[13:12]there and you know I've been pushing

[13:15]myself a lot hiking these past three

[13:17]days thought about them like hope I'm

[13:19]not so sore after I leave here that it's

[13:23]actually challenging to climb that

[13:27]ladder plus I'm

[13:29]definitely afraid of heights like it is

[13:31]going to

[13:32]be an exceptionally hard thing for me to

[13:36]do I I have to because if there's debris

[13:39]up there I cannot risk somebody getting

[13:41]hurt

[13:45]so just hate this part of this life and

[13:48]I'm not good at it and I never will be

[13:52]and I can there's nothing I'm kind about

[13:54]saying that it's honest

[14:01]I

[14:03]my my sec I spent most of my life in the

[14:07]digital world and in my head in my mind

[14:11]in my you know my internal

[14:15]world and I just flipped

[14:19]that and everything is a challenge for

[14:22]me

[14:23]now

[14:26]so I don't expect it to be

[14:30]thought I'd adapt better than I

[14:34]have but you know I have to be honest

[14:37]about

[14:39]it it's

[14:41]been so I started tracking time again

[14:43]it's been over not sure how many days

[14:46]but it's been over 3 months it's been

[14:47]over 100

[14:49]days

[14:53]um we're

[14:56]approaching we're approaching four

[14:58]months

[14:59]the stupid eye bugs I hate

[15:03]them

[15:09]um I'm

[15:11]hopeful that it gets easier but I just

[15:15]based on how I'm feeling

[15:19]and just just the way that I think I

[15:21]just don't I don't feel that way right

[15:24]now I got to climb this got to climb

[15:27]that it wasn't difficult

[15:30]um super confused cuz I have not been

[15:33]all that active

[15:35]lately I spent a week in my camper like

[15:38]going through that linal state

[15:41]and I'm

[15:44]confused I'm doing way better than I

[15:46]thought I

[15:48]would so that's good news it's just

[15:52]surprising I

[15:54]guess you know what it's cuz I quit

[15:57]smoking isn't it

[15:59]wow even though I'm

[16:01]vaping it's because I quit smoking it

[16:04]has to

[16:05]be it's the only thing to explain

[16:08]that quit smoking if you're a smoker

[16:11]there's

[16:12]benefits I just went up another steep

[16:14]climb

[16:16]and

[16:19]wow I'm happy about

[16:22]that I didn't I was wondering if I

[16:26]experience any benefits from quitting

[16:28]smoking yet yet but I clearly have and

[16:30]didn't

[16:32]realize I'm not you

[16:34]know

[16:37]but way

[16:39]better imine about being a month 3

[16:42]months 6 months a

[16:43]year 10

[16:46]years I do want to quit vaping also

[16:50]um not quite there yet but it's just you

[16:54]know I'm taking steps I'm um

[16:59]clearly benefiting from

[17:01]switching that's

[17:05]undeniable then I could be even better

[17:08]if I quit vaping

[17:10]too oh I guess I should talk about this

[17:14]so I do think that Lake Cumberland

[17:18]is a magical place that I would love to

[17:21]live in to explore all of

[17:24]that

[17:27]but I think that would be misguided of

[17:30]me

[17:31]to definitively say that's where I

[17:35]belong

[17:37]because I haven't seen everywhere right

[17:41]so how do I know there aren't other

[17:43]places that I would love even

[17:46]more

[17:49]um I'm in this

[17:52]RV because I wanted to find that

[17:56]place I think I found it

[18:00]I really think I found

[18:01]it

[18:04]but that's not good timing I just got

[18:07]the thing right I don't know I'm I'm

[18:09]contemplating

[18:11]it I think I would love it there there

[18:15]is a vibe to that place the nature is

[18:20]beautiful

[18:21]um there's just an energy to the place

[18:24]some places have that I can't explain it

[18:26]and Arbor is the same way just enter

[18:29]that

[18:30]area and there's this positive vibe in

[18:33]the

[18:34]air and you know I'm not spiritual I'm

[18:37]not applying anything esoteric to that

[18:41]statement but

[18:44]I'm acknowledging a perception I have

[18:47]When I visit places like

[18:49]that whatever causes

[18:51]them and I feel it there at Lake

[18:57]Cumberland so I don't know

[19:03]definitely going there lot in the next

[19:05]month because I want to explore them a

[19:06]little more and I want to go swimming

[19:09]there I am genuinely amazed how little I

[19:12]am struggling cuz I'm not struggling at

[19:14]all

[19:15]like I have

[19:22]hiked I don't

[19:24]know 15 16 17 miles in the last 2 days

[19:32]and

[19:35]nothing how I not in shape I don't eat

[19:40]well drink Mountain Dew all day that's

[19:43]where all my calories come

[19:47]from I don't know I am an enigma to

[19:52]myself I always have been it's a puzzle

[19:54]that I'm always trying to

[19:56]uncover I love this

[20:00]you know not complaining about it I just

[20:02]want to understand it I want to decode

[20:04]it something really interesting happened

[20:06]yesterday I didn't tell you guys so well

[20:08]a couple of things I guess I'll share

[20:09]the mo there's a man over here in the

[20:12]brown Water I talked about that one day

[20:14]he's fishing so there must be fish in

[20:16]there I asked do you think there's fish

[20:18]in there there's fish in there hold on

[20:21]I'm going to talk in a minute I'm going

[20:24]to go over to that spot over

[20:26]there and hang out talk to you guys if I

[20:30]can get over

[20:31]there it's probably

[20:34]wet and then probably wrap my video up

[20:37]and just edit it right

[20:39]there um let's just talk about some

[20:43]stuff this is so

[20:46]nice oh I'd love to get my wrapped and

[20:49]just

[20:53]go so

[20:57]nice Okay what is all that who is that

[21:00]what is that a dog I hope that's a

[21:02]dog okay it's a

[21:04]mushy this is not surprising

[21:08]right oh I don't want to get

[21:11]dirty okay it's not sand I thought it

[21:13]was sand let's go

[21:15]back this is not sand we are not doing

[21:22]this unfortunately

[21:25]because I would have enjoyed that

[21:29]but it's wet very

[21:31]wet we'll find somewhere

[21:34]else oh I just heard some

[21:37]Thunder please

[21:39]rain it doesn't look like it's going to

[21:42]rain but I want it

[21:44]to

[21:46]oh one aspect I didn't explain

[21:50]so my metacognitive ability where I'm

[21:53]constantly monitoring my own

[21:56]thoughts and discussing them that is

[22:00]also an evolutionary response to my

[22:02]upbringing it's

[22:04]environmental

[22:06]um it's from being gay and hiding my

[22:09]sexuality and constantly monitoring do I

[22:11]appear like a straight

[22:13]person you know

[22:15]and navigating those

[22:18]years probably did that also as a child

[22:22]to Model Behavior that my parents found

[22:25]acceptable and provided me with love

[22:29]that I didn't

[22:31]get so I have mixed feelings about it

[22:33]all

[22:38]because the person you see before you is

[22:41]the result

[22:42]of a lot of

[22:45]trauma and while it has made me into a

[22:48]special

[22:50]person that sure did come out a cost

[22:52]didn't it I did go hiking that day that

[22:55]I did my laundry I didn't share it I

[22:58]actually did make a video of it but I

[23:00]had my headphones in and I was listening

[23:03]to the song over on repeat

[23:05]and um I thought you could hear it and

[23:08]I'm singing along along the

[23:10]trail and I was like and then I you know

[23:13]went to edit it I was like oh you can't

[23:15]hear that I'm just singing and sounding

[23:18]real weird right now maybe I don't want

[23:21]to post this one so I didn't so every

[23:25]once in a while comes back to my mind

[23:27]and I'm like maybe I should just post

[23:29]it

[23:31]um I am totally cool

[23:35]with if you saw me I mean I hadn't gone

[23:37]hiking in a while and I was just

[23:40]thrilled to be out there I was even more

[23:42]childlike I was saying yes I into the

[23:45]you know just the air

[23:48]and um struggling it was a real

[23:52]difficult ik for me CU it had been a

[23:53]while and um but struggle

[24:00]I don't react to

[24:02]struggle like the way I react

[24:06]is I guess with excitement I or

[24:08]something I I don't know I

[24:11]I feels

[24:14]good

[24:16]so I don't know maybe one day I'll post

[24:19]it see I've been on this

[24:23]Trail no spider webs I think I got hit

[24:26]once when

[24:29]even though nobody's hiking it when it's

[24:33]regularly hiked it's not as big of a

[24:35]deal that's why that trail yesterday it

[24:37]was like okay nobody hikes this

[24:39]thing I there's no way it was so bad and

[24:43]I can see why

[24:45]because it wasn't a great spot where you

[24:47]ended up didn't take you down to the

[24:50]water there's other ways to get a view

[24:53]like that better views directly from

[24:55]your

[24:56]vehicle just wasn't a very magical

[24:59]spot wasn't worth the 3

[25:03]miles um how do research and find some

[25:06]other places so there have to be more

[25:08]Trails I'm glistening again I like that

[25:12]word such a nice word isn't it

[25:14]glistening how the [ __ ] am I not

[25:16]struggling at all this is so

[25:21]crazy what is going on inside my body

[25:24]right now and why and what do I have

[25:28]have to do to keep that

[25:30]going we're definitely going to the

[25:32]Natural Bridge we're going to hike the

[25:33]sand Gap trail and all day

[25:35]event um I was starting to wonder like

[25:38]should I go on Tuesday you know maybe

[25:40]give myself a

[25:41]break I'm

[25:43]wondering maybe I don't get myself a

[25:47]break it's

[25:49]crazy it's doing fine we're going to go

[25:51]chill over here found a little safe

[25:55]spot I like this one this one faces the

[25:57]lake

[26:00]just hang out there for a

[26:02]while might end my video here I think

[26:05]and I um yesterday's video when I was

[26:08]here I edited it in the parking lot and

[26:11]it took I mean it was 45 minutes so I

[26:13]had to watch the whole thing I was in my

[26:15]car for

[26:17]hours and I was like I hope people

[26:19]aren't

[26:20]like you know who knows what people

[26:22]think

[26:24]so maybe

[26:26]they're worried about a guy just sit

[26:28]his

[26:31]Jeep yeah I'm doing

[26:33]fine truly am so let me show you we're

[26:37]at the spot where the lake is that guy

[26:39]is fishing I

[26:42]think and over there's the dam that's

[26:45]where we're going to end

[26:47]up oh love to have a raft on

[26:51]here oh it' be so

[26:55]fine so fine

[26:58]that looks like a

[27:01]beach

[27:03]hey that's

[27:05]dirt

[27:09]H it's a it's a navigable spot I don't

[27:13]know I want to do it yet though maybe if

[27:15]I had a blanket or

[27:17]something guess I'm getting prissy in my

[27:19]old age I don't mind getting

[27:23]dirty I'm mind getting

[27:26]dirty but I don't want to sit on

[27:29]where it's wet and stuff like that that

[27:30]wouldn't be

[27:32]fun maybe I should go swimming right

[27:36]now how do you know if that's allowed

[27:39]can you just do it and

[27:44]like what is the Aon Norm on

[27:47]this wonder what that water feels like

[27:50]the

[27:52]temperature I'm working myself up I

[27:54]won't do it today don't think I'm

[27:56]getting in there um but this looks like

[27:59]a clean

[28:02]Lake I might go swimming

[28:05]soon wonder how fast that current

[28:09]is how far it will take

[28:12]me it's

[28:16]floating oh so pretty over there

[28:20]clouds those mountains in the

[28:23]background

[28:26]beautiful yeah I think I'm just going to

[28:28]end my video here and I'll just edit it

[28:30]just sitting here on this bench just

[28:32]chill for a while cuz not in a hurry I

[28:35]got a lot to do though if I'm going to

[28:36]go to the tire shop in the

[28:39]morning I don't want to go

[28:48]there guys what do I need to hear

[28:52]to have a better attitude about that cuz

[28:56]I really don't want to go

[29:00]there man

[29:03]up my

[29:06]go and get on the top of my camper oh

[29:10]God I'd much rather be out here this is

[29:13]where I want to

[29:19]be this is so nice I love this trly love

[29:24]this

[29:28]we have

[29:33]rain I don't know if you can see it on

[29:35]the

[29:36][Music]

[29:37]camera

[29:40]training

[29:43]yay

[29:45]raining quite

[29:47]wet lost my earbud but I found it I'd

[29:51]show you a whole lot more cuz I'm having

[29:53]a great time these trails are turning

[29:55]into

[29:56]streams uh my phone isn't going to hold

[29:59]up with this so I had my GoPro or

[30:02]something I'm going to be I need to be

[30:04]more prepared I'm having a blast right

[30:15]now yeah the rain is doing that it's

[30:19]hitting my screen and I guess it's warm

[30:21]enough it's feels colder but guess it's

[30:23]warm enough that it's

[30:26]detecting touch you

[30:29]know love

[30:31]this yeah I couldn't even um I couldn't

[30:34]even open it up for a while there it

[30:36]wasn't registering my fingerprints at

[30:39]all this is

[30:43]awesome oh this is what life is

[30:46]about

[30:48]and

[30:52]woo

[30:54][Music]

[30:55]oh what a perfect [ __ ] day

[30:59]look at

[31:00]that oh I want to be out

[31:03]there get my my raft go over there hang

[31:10]out I am wet very

[31:17]wet it's cleansing it's

[31:22]refreshing I love ring

[31:28]guess I don't know how to detect when

[31:29]it's coming though I was convinced it

[31:30]wasn't so time for this surfing

[31:35]room yes I am old so this

[31:41]is

[31:45]um what do they call that I don't even

[31:48]know oh this is a w

[32:02]this is

[32:03]awesome this is what it's about this is

[32:05]what life is

[32:11][Music]

[32:21]about this is what life's

[32:24]about that spider web looks abandoned

[32:27]but sure

[32:28]pretty right here at the End Bridge

[32:32]47 not bad

[32:35]spider where' you head off

[32:37]to may be the only one

[32:40]here Jeep in the

[32:43]distance standing Sentinel at the

[32:46]lake o I love that the um it's not smoke

[32:51]what is that

[32:52]um you know something to do with water

[32:56]steam it's like a steam but I I don't

[32:57]know what they call it Ste what do they

[32:59]call that that's so pretty so pretty

[33:02]some over

[33:03]there oh I love this

[33:06]place this place just me here this is

[33:09]all me I am alone in the

[33:12]world there's no better way to

[33:16]be

[33:20]oh I love

[33:25]it since when you should be out on a rra

[33:34]fishing yeah life is good guys life is

[33:38]good hope you know that hope you feel

[33:42]that oh I don't always feel that

[33:45]so you just got to make space for

[33:47]yourself where you can feel

[33:53]that helps us get through those other

[33:55]moments

[33:57]this is [ __ ] perfect man this is

[34:00][ __ ]

[34:01]perfect I'm thinking about just chilling

[34:04]here haven't said on those rocks

[34:10]yet I'm pretty wet though my electronics

[34:13]are getting

[34:15]wet um I sure have a lot to do today if

[34:20]I want to be

[34:21]responsible I don't I don't want to be

[34:25]responsible I want to be a wild child

[34:27]out in the

[34:31]woods liking the move of the

[34:35]beach I could live that way I would love

[34:45]it I hope that you had a good

[34:48]weekend I hope that you have a great

[34:50]week I'm so silly it's called fog of

[34:55]course it's just fog

[34:58]I don't know my brain does

[35:01]that that jeep right there is my

[35:03]favorite thing on

[35:05]earth and it started this adventure

[35:07]because I got that and then I drove it

[35:10]all the way to Arizona 2,000

[35:12]miles by the time I'd gotten back I was

[35:15]like I need an

[35:17]RB I love this thing right

[35:20]here when am I going to get a ducky

[35:23]though I only have one

[35:25]ducky nobody gives me ducky

[35:29]one little lonely ducky in my duck

[35:33]pond I bet Mason would like to see

[35:37]this he's been at this for a while look

[35:39]at the dent you put in this in you're

[35:41]going to make it fall

[35:44]off here get some ice

[35:48]crystals oh I got to fix

[35:52]the zoom on this thing

[35:58]you got to do more than that Bailey

[36:01]you're going to make it fall off the

[36:03]stick you're going to make it fall off

[36:05]the stick

[36:07]dude why are you so obsessed with that

[36:10]spot come on leave that spot

[36:16]alone you're going to have a sugar high

[36:18]aren't

[36:25]you yeah he doesn't get this very on and

[36:27]it's probably been a month and a

[36:30]half but you got to stop at some point

[36:36]dude look at that look in your

[36:41]face I think that's enough don't you I

[36:44]think that's enough

Summary

rswfire goes hiking on a Sunday morning at 11 AM, feeling surprisingly less sore than expected from recent physical activity. He reflects on a dangerous incident with a "crazy fire starter" who was 8 feet from his camper with what appeared to be an explosive device, with children nearby.

During the hike, he processes his recent discovery of his cognitive style, explaining how it developed as a survival mechanism from growing up with narcissistic parents and hiding his sexuality. He describes this as constantly "decoding life" and seeing patterns and bigger pictures rather than focusing on episodic memory.

He shares a childhood memory of his mother putting lots of pepper on his eggs before school, which he still does. He discusses challenges with self-care routines in RV life, including not having properly shaved since starting his adventure and using hair clippers instead.

rswfire expresses his love for being around water, particularly Lake Cumberland, which he describes as having a "magical" quality and positive energy. He considers it might be where he belongs but acknowledges he hasn't seen everywhere yet. He researches inflatable rafts online, finding options from $25 to $400.

He's amazed at his improved physical condition, attributing it to quitting smoking about 3 months ago, even though he still vapes. He's hiked 15-17 miles in the past 2 days without struggling. He expresses reluctance about driving to a tire shop the next day due to low tire pressure.

The video ends with him getting caught in rain while hiking, which he enjoys immensely, calling it "what life is about." His cat Bailey appears at the end, obsessively licking something sweet.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission holds the architecture of recursive self-mapping while simultaneously embodying physical integration through hiking and water connection. The field is processing cognitive style discovery as foundational identity architecture, using somatic engagement (hiking, water proximity) as both grounding mechanism and integration tool for trauma-derived pattern recognition systems.

Dominant Language

cognitive styledecoding lifepattern recognitiontrauma-derivedmagical placeevolutionary responsebigger picture

Symbolic Elements

watertrailmirrorthresholdfogcurrent

Ontological States

•
integrating
•
embodied
•
recursive
•
sovereign

Subsystems

•
cognitive
•
somatic
•
infrastructural
•
emotional

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration