Hiking Cecil L Gorly Trail with 47 Bridges

Mid-2024 signal during Kentucky stay. rswfire is camping in the area but maintains distance from his actual location for privacy. Recently cut contact with parents. Dealing with temporary dentures and upcoming permanent implant procedure. Living in RV and documenting outdoor experiences.

Energetic Signature

grounded contemplative

Field State

stabilization

Orientation

toward embodied sovereignty

01J3RSVP302GRK2C7YYPEERCW7

July 27, 2024

119:38

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Author

rswfire

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ARCHIVED

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TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

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[0:00]good morning fellow humans so I thought

[0:03]we'd do something fun today I'm at a

[0:04]place called Cecil L Gorly naturalist

[0:08]Trail in Lebanon

[0:10]Kentucky um it's also called Fagan

[0:12]Branch I'm not sure why there are more

[0:14]titles there was a another one too um

[0:18]don't remember it off the top of my head

[0:20]but there's I think that the natural

[0:22]Trail name is the official one that

[0:24]you'd find on a

[0:26]map I'm a pretty good distance from

[0:28]where I'm camping so so I'm pretty

[0:30]comfortable just sharing that um just to

[0:32]explain that I've you know been kind of

[0:34]keeping my location a secret because I

[0:37]don't want to be ambushed by my parents

[0:40]I'm not saying they would do that to me

[0:42]but it's just a concern I have so I've

[0:46]been taking

[0:47]precautions um to explain that because

[0:50]you know people stumble on my videos

[0:52]they don't know my story I cut my

[0:54]parents out of my life about a month or

[0:57]two ago and

[1:00]that was hard but necessary

[1:03]and for my own mental health I just

[1:06]don't want to take any chances I don't

[1:07]want to see them I just think that it's

[1:10]not it wouldn't be healthy for me

[1:13]so I woke up this morning and I just

[1:17]wanted to get out in nature I mean I

[1:19]live in nature I guess but you know this

[1:21]is different I just want to be out in

[1:22]the woods I want to go hiking I there is

[1:25]a lake here so it's basically a trail

[1:28]around the lake that has 47

[1:30]Bridges I think it's 47 if I'm wrong

[1:33]I'll past it up on the

[1:35]screen um and that just sounded awesome

[1:38]that sounded fun right we get to go and

[1:40]walk over 47 Bridges like that sounds

[1:43]cool and I need to get in shape I

[1:46]haven't been hiking enough and Hiking

[1:48]definitely tones my body and makes me

[1:50]feel like um just makes me feel better

[1:54]and makes you know I know that I can

[1:56]handle more challenges like I would like

[1:58]to do bigger hikes i' like to go back up

[2:01]into um you know very tall Hills or

[2:03]mountains and you know just rugged drain

[2:06]and I know that I couldn't do that right

[2:09]now so I have to start

[2:11]somewhere um I forgot to bring my

[2:13]dentures so I'm sorry I just have to

[2:16]look at my ugly face I I actually meant

[2:20]to bring them you probably noticed I

[2:21]haven't been wearing them much

[2:23]lately um you know it's that's that's

[2:26]just a challenge that's a thing that

[2:27]takes time to get used to

[2:30]yeah the top ones are temporary ones my

[2:33]um and they just don't feel like they're

[2:36]fitting great and they kind of give me

[2:37]this gag reflex so they're harder to

[2:39]wear right now um I saw the dentist

[2:43]yesterday um about 2 weeks from now my

[2:46]next appointment I do get my permanent

[2:48]top ones and they just snap right into

[2:51]my into my mouth um because I got these

[2:55]implants um basically what those are

[2:57]there's these four rods that they just

[3:00]put right up into your into your skull U

[3:04]I think they're screwed in even it's you

[3:05]know it's pretty remarkable it sounds

[3:07]painful it actually wasn't

[3:09]shockingly um and then so they put these

[3:13]little tips that screw on and then the

[3:16]dentur just snap into those so you

[3:18]always have these four like little

[3:20]things in your mouth like I felt them

[3:22]cuz they put them in every time I go to

[3:24]the appointment where they can screw

[3:25]them off and

[3:27]on and it

[3:30]they're not big but they're you know

[3:33]anything in your mouth feels big so

[3:36]they're very

[3:37]noticeable and I think that will force

[3:39]me to have to wear them because you know

[3:41]otherwise I'm going to be feeling these

[3:42]four rods in my mouth all the time so um

[3:46]but the main reason for going that route

[3:48]was because they don't have a pallet

[3:51]piece and that's generally what causes

[3:54]gag reflexes in some people and they

[3:57]make some sturdy and you don't need to

[3:59]use

[4:00]um fix a dent and stuff like that to

[4:03]keep them in place and it just hopefully

[4:05]will make it feel a little more natural

[4:07]for me because wearing Dentures is

[4:08]really hard um you feel like you have a

[4:11]bunch of stuff in your mouth that

[4:13]doesn't belong there and you you can't

[4:17]eat like you nor you would have with

[4:19]with your normal teeth because uh you

[4:22]need to take smaller bites because your

[4:25]mouth is already full and so yeah that's

[4:29]been a struggle for me my bottom

[4:31]Dentures are permanent but they're not

[4:34]implants I can't afford it I hope to

[4:37]someday I

[4:38]think this will be in you know the top

[4:41]ones were more important those ones

[4:43]needed to just snap in but um and if I

[4:46]get used to that then maybe a year from

[4:48]now or something I come back here to

[4:50]Kentucky because I love my dentist she's

[4:52]awesome and I do the bottom ones

[4:56]and so yeah we're going to go for a hike

[4:59]I that

[5:00]sound

[5:03]rules okay you can see the little

[5:05]Bridges though wow there are a lot of

[5:07]them 47 47 of

[5:10]them there are just Bridges everywhere

[5:13]they're marked with a

[5:19]number all

[5:22]right this is peaceful

[5:25]looking these people are having a good

[5:27]time

[5:29]just

[5:49]chilling it's very cool to me that this

[5:52]thing is managed by a water

[5:55]works so that's what that's about

[6:01]water company manages

[6:05]this this looks like a very well-marked

[6:12]Trail William

[6:15]moly we can learn about his life somay

[6:36]this is amazing I like

[6:40]this oh I could learn to go fishing

[6:44]here we are

[6:52]off this is the kind of nature I

[6:57]like don't know how I'm going to f in

[7:10]Nevada there some steep tra it's already

[7:13]pretty

[7:15]steep oh this reminds me of Raven

[7:19]Run number one I knew they'd be like

[7:21]this you know they're not all going to

[7:22]be spectacular

[7:54]that's a beautiful color you don't often

[7:56]see that in Kentucky

[7:59]um a lot of

[8:01]ours are brown um this probably just a

[8:05]little

[8:08]Overlook e

[8:17]spider wow this place is

[8:21]awesome yeah it

[8:23]is lots of places just hang out and

[8:26]chill

[8:33]I'm loving this all

[8:44]righty that's beautiful

[8:56]water this place is a hi and

[9:24]Gem I'm going to need um definitely need

[9:27]to bring my other camera

[9:30]um maybe my GoPro or something I can

[9:32]just attach to myself cuz I go hiking

[9:36]you know number one for

[9:39]myself

[9:41]and it's a little challenging if I have

[9:43]to hold this thing up all the

[9:46]time really need to do something about

[9:48]that number two this is so cool 47

[9:53]Bridges I love that

[10:21]I mean you can just pick any spot you

[10:22]want and just go hang out and have lunch

[10:25]or something just chill

[10:31]o 3 and a/4

[10:33]Miles number three I'm not going to

[10:36]pretend that's you know

[10:38]remarkable

[10:41]um it's going to be remarkable for me

[10:43]today because I am out of

[10:46]shape but I'll

[10:48]manage should have brought some

[10:51]snacks picnic

[10:53]bench nice

[10:55]one absolutely love this place

[11:11]wow I love how they Mark the bridges

[11:14]like that number

[11:16]four oh here comes number

[11:24]five I bet it is awesome here after it's

[11:27]been raining for a couple days

[11:30]you would see all kinds

[11:32]of little streams and

[11:44]things probably feeding that Lake there

[12:00]just checking my screen here make sure

[12:02]I'm not might have to take this cover

[12:05]off hopefully it's not poking out at the

[12:07]bottom randomly cuz I'm not really

[12:10]watching my screen I'm just holding it

[12:12]um about wayist

[12:27]high I love this

[12:31]find a spot pick a

[12:33]spot hang

[12:40]out it's a good place to just get away

[13:06]pretty red

[13:11]flowers they look like like jili Peppers

[13:15]kind

[13:16]of obviously they're not number

[13:20]six I don't know they look like little

[13:22]Chili Peppers to me on the vine

[13:35]wow we found a hidden J this place is

[13:43]awesome managed by some local Water

[13:45]Department

[15:15]is

[15:35]think we might go hang out over here for

[15:37]a little

[15:38]bit I'm not in a

[15:41]hurry just want to chill

[15:45]today there's a bridge over

[15:47]there can probably get on down to the

[15:51]beach from

[15:53]there you call it a beach I don't

[15:57]know it's every Waters that

[16:02]Beach number seven I was thinking of a

[16:05]different

[16:06]Bridge not this one coming up either so

[16:08]it must be number

[16:12]nine unless these two are counted

[16:21]separately number

[16:26]eight number nine

[16:48]I think I might have been looking at

[16:49]that one I'm not sure though oh no this

[16:52]one

[17:08]No Easy Way

[17:10]Down um from this one number

[17:15]10 I was thinking we'd just chill over

[17:17]there for a

[17:19]bit um we'll find a place

[18:21]we're coming back here I like this place

[18:47]number

[18:50]11 I like that number

[19:36]H that's

[19:39]confusing because you know we didn't

[19:41]hike no three miles so what's that

[19:44]about

[19:45]huh let's see what's over here though

[19:48]some kind of little

[19:50]Overlook Passover

[19:55]whatever is there a place for us to

[19:58]chill

[20:04]oh

[20:07]wow yes there

[20:10]is oh this is

[20:16]awesome hell

[20:21]yeah see sit over

[20:27]here some of my Fondest Memories are

[20:30]just hanging out in the woods all day by

[20:32]myself often just exploring

[20:36]and taking it in

[20:39]and I'd bring friends with me sometimes

[20:42]I used to um always and I'd invite my

[20:45]friends to come hiking with me they none

[20:46]of them were into

[20:48]it but they do it for me and it was fun

[20:53]had some good times like to do that

[20:55]again I don't want to be alone all the

[20:57]time do do like my solitude but I you

[21:00]know I like to socialize too probably

[21:02]surprise some of

[21:04]you um i' definitely go hiking with some

[21:07]of my subscribers if you who you're

[21:09]around

[21:10]and yeah why not could be

[21:17]fun oh yeah I hear

[21:24]you what makes a noise like that it's

[21:27]not a cricket is it what is

[21:29]that is this is it a Sado I mean cuz

[21:33]those only come out like you know for a

[21:36]little

[21:38]while not even annually

[21:41]so I don't know I don't know much about

[21:44]insects I don't like insects at all so

[21:50]um I don't really know much about

[21:52]animals either that's not the stuff that

[21:54]gets me it's not it's not why I come

[21:56]here it's not the wildlife it's not the

[21:59]insects it's the

[22:01]trees it's the trees and now the water

[22:05]I'm noticing a New Found Love for it

[22:07]that I didn't have in my youth

[22:10]so find that very interesting that's a

[22:13]thing that I've just been sitting with

[22:14]since I started my adventure and I'm

[22:17]just um waiting for the insights to come

[22:21]because there's I there's something

[22:24]about it that I think is valuable to me

[22:26]I just I Inuit it that I don't I don't

[22:28]have an answer to it yet but

[22:31]um I am really enjoying being around

[22:34]water these

[22:37]days and I do want to go out there I

[22:39]want to be on a boat I was thinking

[22:40]about it last

[22:43]night um it just sounds like a fun

[22:46]experience it's not a thing that I ever

[22:48]had an interest in so it's interesting

[22:50]to me that I do now I just want to chill

[22:54]on a

[22:55]boat not a big one just a little Rob

[22:58]boat or not even really a rowboat

[23:01]because I just want some just want a

[23:04]platform that just floats around just

[23:07]some 2x4s put together into like is that

[23:10]a raft probably it's probably a raft

[23:13]that's what I want I just want to chill

[23:14]on a

[23:16]raft um the nail I use when I talk about

[23:19]this is Ender's Game you know

[23:22]Ender obviously fictional but Ender

[23:25]built raft um down on Earth when he went

[23:29]back down there and just was chilling on

[23:31]the water and something about that

[23:34]moment that memory for

[23:36]me it

[23:39]just it stayed with me like I I

[23:44]just I want to experience that myself

[23:47]it's what it

[23:56]is this is nice

[24:04]nice this is how we should spend our

[24:06]days I hate being locked up in a a

[24:10]box surrounded by a bunch of

[24:14]people a bunch of noise and

[24:19]just

[24:22]um can't think of the word but basically

[24:25]the opposite of natural like these

[24:27]artificial these artificial environments

[24:29]we create even campgrounds are like that

[24:32]they they've been commoditized I've been

[24:34]thinking about it it's

[24:36]like people go there not so much for the

[24:39]nature but to socialize to change their

[24:42]their environment to just have a

[24:44]different a different View and then do

[24:47]all the things that they would do at

[24:49]home and it's

[24:52]like they've just commoditized nature

[24:55]and that's okay like that's you know

[24:58]that's what humans like doing okay but

[25:00]it's not okay for me so I'm learning

[25:03]that campgrounds may not be where I

[25:06]belong so um I have to find spaces for

[25:10]myself and it's it's not campgrounds

[25:14]because that isn't what I'm trying to do

[25:17]like that's it feels like an extension

[25:20]of the world that I'm trying to get away

[25:22]from

[25:24]so so that had kind of stressed me out

[25:27]you know and

[25:29]made me re-evaluate what I had done by

[25:32]embarking on this journey because it

[25:34]felt like I was

[25:38]not accomplishing what I had set out to

[25:40]do and then I started wondering was it

[25:42]even

[25:43]possible

[25:46]and it kept me stuck for a while you

[25:48]guys have seen it you've seen you've

[25:50]seen

[25:52]the you know the end product of that and

[25:55]I'm trying to break out of it that's why

[25:57]I'm here today I got up this morning and

[25:58]thought you know what let's just go

[26:00]hiking let's find a

[26:02]place and stumbled across this one and

[26:05]it's like wow this is a gem let's keep

[26:11]going yes I have Mountain Dew guys and I

[26:14]have two on my backpack too didn't bring

[26:17]any water I'm a terrible

[26:19]person um I do need to change that don't

[26:22]get me wrong I'm not trying to

[26:25]be 50 years old and drinking mountain

[26:28]deer

[26:29]um did I just give myself 3 years to get

[26:31]off Mountain Dew is that what I just did

[26:34]sure sounds like

[26:36]it um CU I'm 47 so I just gave myself 3

[26:41]years to taper off of Mountain Dew

[26:44]that's bad better make a new limit for

[26:49]that um I don't even like it anymore I

[26:54]don't like I'm drinking and I'm like go

[26:57]this is gross

[27:00]I got to find a

[27:03]replacement so there's somebody over

[27:05]here just chilling on their

[27:08]boat so

[27:10]cool kayak right kayak I don't know if

[27:13]that was in the screen so um I'm not

[27:16]trying to um violate other people's

[27:19]privacy I'm very big on that

[27:22]so um

[27:30]H just walked through a spider web I

[27:33]mean that implies that nobody's hiked

[27:36]this part of the trail

[27:39]today I thought I'd gotten lucky cuz

[27:42]we'd walked a pretty good distance and

[27:43]that hadn't happen so I figured there

[27:45]must be other people on the trail by

[27:47]now guess not

[27:52]e you get used to

[27:56]it um

[27:58]some can be quite elaborate though they

[28:01]can spiders can build some pretty

[28:03]elaborate spider webs

[28:06]so you just want to keep your eyes

[28:08]peeled

[28:11]12 steep

[28:13]one I will be out of breath after this I

[28:16]know it doesn't look steep on the

[28:18]camera don't understand why cameras

[28:21]can't show

[28:23]depth I hope

[28:25]my that one camera I bought I hope hope

[28:28]it does a better job I need to get that

[28:30]thing going and learn about it how to

[28:31]use it and bring it out

[28:34]here okay that wasn't so

[28:37]bad I mean I did quit smoking but I'm

[28:40]vaping

[28:41]so don't know how much that's helping my

[28:44]lungs if at

[28:45]all like to believe it

[28:54]is I did smoke for 30 years

[28:58]you wen't going to repair from that

[29:00]overnight perhaps

[29:03]never but at least I'm not making it

[29:05]worse that's how you have to think about

[29:10]that you're just not making it

[29:16]worse it's a pretty

[29:18]Lake I like this

[29:24]Lake there a lot more water in Kentucky

[29:26]than I realized

[29:29]I didn't know we had so many

[29:40]lakes man this is awesome

[30:04]hope like this gets my imagination going

[30:08]like it just

[30:14]does that is the cutest little tree

[30:16]you're so cute oh my God I love

[30:25]you yep it's the trees trees bring me

[30:28]out here I don't know

[30:30]why oh I love thinking about trees they

[30:33]are

[30:56]fascinating I'm just going at a

[30:58]leisurely Pace today

[31:30]number 13 we have so many more

[31:33]bridges

[31:36]47 number

[31:41]13 I like

[31:46]Bridges which is interesting cuz I am

[31:49]totally afraid of heights but I like

[31:54]Bridges they got to feel sturdy to get

[31:56]me on them though

[31:59]maybe I just need to understand the

[32:01]science behind

[32:03]them

[32:05]14 little baby

[32:24]Bridge we got to we do

[32:28]I am not in a hurry

[32:39]today that tree has a nice

[32:43]spot I'm H out

[32:46]here this is

[32:55]cool thinking how nice it would be to

[32:58]have some snacks with me cuz I'm hungry

[33:02]I didn't eat this morning and oh I

[33:05]didn't eat much

[33:07]yesterday um I watched heart stoer heart

[33:11]throbber something like that Netflix the

[33:13]other day

[33:16]and Charlie has an eating

[33:19]disorder brought on

[33:22]by um his very young

[33:25]mind learning to

[33:28]um process the difficult bullying he

[33:30]experienced for being

[33:32]gay and that struck a chord with me cuz

[33:35]I never really thought of myself as

[33:37]having an eating disorder but I don't

[33:39]eat a lot

[33:40]so maybe I do

[33:44]and might have to acknowledge that and

[33:47]do something about

[33:49]it um for a long portion of my life I

[33:54]have only eaten once a day

[34:00]and eating's hard for me because I do

[34:02]have this fear choking to death it's not

[34:04]from my dental

[34:06]situation um it's just this thing that

[34:09]happened to me when I was around 27 I

[34:12]think

[34:13]and um I had swallowed this pill it got

[34:16]stuck in my throat I had a panic attack

[34:18]and ever since then it it just it

[34:20]destroyed me

[34:22]mentally so but it's not so bad these

[34:24]days I took clopin for a very long time

[34:27]I'm taking it again I'm down to a

[34:29]quarter of a milligram I tried stopping

[34:31]that I'm trying to be cautious of the

[34:33]fact that not everybody who's watching

[34:35]me is familiar with me not going to do

[34:38]that all the time

[34:40]because um I think that will get real

[34:43]boring for my normal subscribers and for

[34:46]myself like I don't want to be recapping

[34:48]my life all the time

[34:49]so but you know I'll try to be a little

[34:52]more conscious of it I feel like my

[34:54]content needs to evolve a little bit so

[34:56]that's where my thinking is with that

[34:58]and why I'm doing

[35:03]it but yeah I

[35:07]think I might have an eating disorder

[35:09]and don't even know it so um I don't

[35:13]know I guess I'll discuss it with AI at

[35:15]some

[35:19]point it's always been hard for me I

[35:23]just it really is I think I probably do

[35:26]now that I'm thinking about it

[35:29]wow did not know

[35:36]that man this is

[35:42]peaceful I'll come out here again by

[35:45]myself without you guys and just chill

[35:47]all

[35:49]day um it changes the dynamic to have a

[35:52]camera on and it to an extent ruins the

[35:55]experience for me um um it's not why I

[35:58]come out here I'm not out here to to

[36:00]share every aspect of my life with

[36:02]people even though I share a lot um if

[36:05]I'm coming out into the woods it's

[36:07]because I I need the Solitude I

[36:11]need I need the experience to myself I

[36:14]need to be selfish about it but today I

[36:16]wanted to bring you along so don't think

[36:18]you know I

[36:20]just I know that it's influencing my

[36:22]behavior I'm going to get up in a second

[36:25]and we're going to keep going but if it

[36:27]was just me I could sit here for an

[36:32]hour just think or not think sometimes

[36:35]the reason to come out here is to turn

[36:37]my brain

[36:42]off what an awesome place this

[36:52]is

[36:56]wow so peaceful and

[37:02]quiet I'm coming back here let's

[37:06]go maybe I'll do some painting or

[37:09]something here cuz I don't know how to

[37:10]paint but I got to do something with all

[37:13]my art stuff I was thinking about that

[37:16]yesterday my storage Bay half of my

[37:18]biggest storage Bay is full of art stuff

[37:21]like that stuff either has to be used or

[37:24]it can't be with me because and I'm

[37:27]taking up space that I'm not using and

[37:28]that's

[37:30]dumb

[37:32]so either

[37:34]I discover if I really

[37:37]like like doing art stuff or I give it

[37:40]up

[37:42]15 so the signs seem to decide that it's

[37:47]going to tell us how far we've gone I

[37:50]guess instead of how far we have to go

[37:54]so maybe that first sign we saw was you

[37:57]know the end of the trail cuz I'm sure

[37:58]it's

[37:59]circular but I don't think that we would

[38:01]see that sign on the way

[38:04]back so that's a little confusing

[38:38]I would love to come out here and try

[38:39]painting what I

[38:41]see do a Bob Ross kind of

[38:44]painting wish I had that kind of

[38:48]skill and

[38:51]supplies I have paints

[38:54]but no canvases no space for canvases

[38:57]said

[39:01]so somebody's got a house all up

[39:05]there Lucky

[39:15]them number

[39:18]16 oh a whole bunch in a row this will

[39:21]be

[39:21]fun it's this a wobbly one

[39:33]17 well at least fix the wood with the

[39:35]same kind of

[39:42]wood

[39:45]18 I suppose over time it'll match again

[39:49]I don't know

[40:03]this place is remarkable simply because

[40:06]it is so awesome and so

[40:22]unknown got me thinking in my head do I

[40:25]share this

[40:27]you know that's like a ethical

[40:29]consideration honestly for

[40:32]me um but people can

[40:35]only I mean let's just save this thing

[40:37]went w which is impossible right spider

[40:40]web

[40:43]um people can only there's only so many

[40:46]people in the world so if they're if

[40:48]they're here they're not somewhere

[40:51]else

[40:53]19 so a new spot becomes

[40:58]um what this spot is

[41:00]now it dies off maybe and I don't know

[41:03]thinking about all the possibilities

[41:06]that's what my brain

[41:15]does I just wonder how a spider web up

[41:18]there holy

[41:21]crap you are capturing everything under

[41:24]the

[41:25]sun you

[41:32]part of

[41:46]bench I'm old I'm taking opportunity of

[41:49]everything on this Trail cuz I am

[41:55]old it's hot today

[41:58]um it's not bad I like it but it's it's

[42:00]pretty hot um it was 75 when at 10: in

[42:04]the morning I don't let's see what it's

[42:07]almost noon now

[42:11]so I don't know what the temperature is

[42:14]but

[42:16]um you know it's hot and

[42:19]muggy

[42:23]peaceful those are pretty leaves wow

[42:32]I want to see a

[42:37]caterpillar munting on a little leaf

[42:40]that would be

[42:45]cool this park bench is not stable

[42:50]and tilting forward and it's wanting to

[42:53]tilt over

[42:55]so yeah we keep

[42:57]going oh come on why am I so bad at

[43:24]that 20 I have

[43:33]way oh my God you know what would be

[43:37]awesome if you had a

[43:40]kid and you brought them here every year

[43:43]on their birthday and took their picture

[43:45]on the bridge that matched their

[43:46]birthday how cool would that

[43:48]be and there's 47 of them that's my

[43:55]age just an interesting

[44:01]thought you know think about it

[44:03]it's iing a trail is like progression in

[44:06]life and it's just a way of marking time

[44:10]that's it's just an interesting

[44:13]idea oh I'd love to start a TR like

[44:17]that it just would find that very

[44:20]heartwarming

[45:55]21 bring out a bottle of beer with you

[45:59]or something and take a picture with

[46:01]your 21y

[46:02][Music]

[46:07]old nice we got ourselves a little path

[46:13]here

[46:17]through what is this

[46:24]called this place is magical

[46:28]have some brown

[46:30]water I don't think you want to swim in

[46:34]that wonder if there's fishies in

[46:46]there some little hangout

[46:50]spot oh thinking things get a little

[46:54]confusing from here

[46:59]okay boy do they

[47:03]ever there's the beach oh look at all

[47:05]the docks oh my

[47:08]God and I'm all I don't really care

[47:11]about the animals but look at those dogs

[47:14]oh ducks are so

[47:16]cute I like how they hang out together

[47:32]that is just puring

[47:34]it there's no other word to describe

[47:38]that just

[47:44]pure all right let's

[47:47]see

[47:49]duckies can't see my screen so well I

[47:51]think the brightness is

[47:53]low no well I don't know guys I'm

[47:57]sorry can't trust what I'm seeing on my

[48:01]screen

[48:04]here so now

[48:11]we got the barn back

[48:13]there I love Kentucky barns they all

[48:16]look like that

[48:17]too that is so

[48:20]common that is a common sight here

[48:27]history and

[48:30]Heritage I mean you know it looks like

[48:32]we just head this

[48:42]way wow that's

[48:45]interesting

[48:49]fascinating not even going to pretend I

[48:52]know what I'm looking

[48:55]at cool

[49:00]that is a beautiful treescape right

[49:03]there that is something I would love to

[49:07]paint oh wait a

[49:10]minute I have a feeling this thing's

[49:12]telling us

[49:15]something I almost went the wrong way

[49:27]oh that makes sense we're supposed to

[49:29]stay around the lake right so yeah

[49:31]should have thought of

[49:42]that Meadow that's the word I was

[49:45]looking for

[49:49]earlier we had enter day

[49:53]Meadow that brings up memories of Bambi

[50:06]now that's to

[50:10]view

[50:16]wow that's a view

[50:34]it's

[51:12]is

[51:36]I mean that Barn it has a story you

[51:39]know has

[51:42]history it's just a it's a sentinel in

[51:45]time it's

[51:50]just it's out a story all its

[51:54]own lost the time I

[51:58]guess we can imagine it story

[52:32]loading

[52:33]screen it's an inside joke on my

[52:38]channel we just went through a loading

[52:41]screen oh my God have we only walked a

[52:44]mile in a quarter really this is a

[52:47]little bit difficult they haven't done

[52:49]this in a

[52:51]while you mean to tell me we're only a

[52:53]third of the way

[52:59]22 they said this this was an hour hike

[53:05]so nope not for

[53:08]me I'm okay with it I don't want to walk

[53:11]at a fast pace I want to just enjoy this

[53:29]those insect noises I don't like them

[53:33]23 um so this it's a constant noise at

[53:37]the campground I'm

[53:39]at um I never really liked it I find it

[53:43]a little irritating which you know it's

[53:45]sad to say that but um it just sets my

[53:49]ears off it's not a noise I like

[53:59]but it's part of the rhythm of nature

[54:01]you know

[54:02]there's there's a reason for

[54:08]it would like to know what makes those

[54:11]noises if any of you know please tell me

[54:13]cuz I'm guessing it's not

[54:17]crickets I don't know what it is

[57:02]I need to do this more

[57:12]often get back to centering myself and

[57:16]truly contemplating my

[57:19]future

[57:21]24 that board will never match

[57:43]oh I'm sorry I might have to

[57:45]take um I might have to put a different

[57:48]cover on my

[57:51]phone it's a nice spot it's looking at

[57:54]the actual water

[58:02]we haven't found a favorite spot for me

[58:04]yet oh my God maybe we

[58:07]did

[58:12]who what's over there that's obviously a

[58:15]dam

[58:18]right where did we

[58:22]start is it over there

[58:26]I don't

[58:29]know oh this is a nice bench

[58:34]oh when did I get so

[58:37]old

[58:39]man when did I get so

[58:43]old

[58:45]um I should address the fact that I'm

[58:47]not sleeping well at all and I know it's

[58:49]affecting my internal State and making

[58:53]me a little more negative than I'd like

[58:55]to be

[58:57]cranky I guess and when I get cranky

[59:01]it's not like other people's cranky when

[59:03]I get cranky I'm just realizing this um

[59:07]I get even more introspective and

[59:09]judgmental that's what happens so that

[59:12]might explain my video from

[59:15]yesterday I'm not sleeping well

[59:19]and it sucks I wake up in pain every

[59:23]single morning I don't get enough sleep

[59:26]and it's just a challenge I started

[59:28]taking benad dril every

[59:30]night which doesn't really do much um

[59:33]and it doesn't help your sleep either so

[59:36]it

[59:38]just it might help you

[59:40]to well it's not helping there's no

[59:43]point I should stop taking

[59:48]it I need to deal with that bad the

[59:51]reason that I don't buy one from Rari

[59:53]mattress place is because I don't know

[59:56]how I would have it

[59:57]delivered and I don't like the idea of

[60:01]spending that much money on something

[60:02]that I haven't experienced so if I

[60:07]can't you know if I could go to a place

[60:10]where they have those mattresses I can

[60:12]lay on it and just see how it feels I'll

[60:14]know if it's right for me but there's no

[60:16]way to know that

[60:20]um you know online it's just there isn't

[60:23]and I'm not like most people that I

[60:26]think that um like soft surfaces I I

[60:30]don't like that so I sleep much better

[60:33]on a very firm mattress but there is a

[60:37]level of softness and I don't know what

[60:38]that's called so I don't know how to

[60:40]look for that there's a very specific

[60:42]kind of mattress that seems to work the

[60:44]best for me and really wish I had my old

[60:47]mattress cuz I loved my mattress

[60:53]um so that's why I just it

[60:56]feels impossible which is crazy it's

[61:03]like it is very challenging to live on

[61:06]the road there you the resources out

[61:08]there are not geared towards that kind

[61:11]of Lifestyle so you have all of these

[61:13]challenges you don't think about and

[61:18]then you feel stuck you

[61:22]feel incompetent I feel incompetent

[61:25]quite a lot lately and it just feels

[61:28]like I don't know how to overcome these

[61:31]challenges and I know that I talk a lot

[61:34]about please stop giving me advice like

[61:37]that you're invalidating my experience

[61:40]when you do that you are um I'm not

[61:43]sharing my life with you so that you can

[61:45]turn around and tell me how to fix my

[61:47]life that is not the purpose of this

[61:49]channel I'm trying

[61:52]to I'm trying to share my life with you

[61:55]authentic Ally and an authentic response

[61:58]to that would be to just appreciate the

[62:00]struggle I'm going through that's all

[62:02]you have to do you don't have

[62:04]to I'm not asking for your advice on

[62:08]that so don't give it but if I do ask

[62:11]for advice on something please do and

[62:13]you guys never give me advice on the

[62:15]things I actually ask for advice on I'm

[62:18]not talking about the bad because that's

[62:21]um it's just I'm just you know these are

[62:23]thoughts I've been having and I at some

[62:25]point it feels natural to share them and

[62:27]like now and then I move on and I I hope

[62:31]that those of you who are truly

[62:32]following my

[62:33]journey think about that think

[62:37]about cuz I am very deliberate with my

[62:39]language always there's always a reason

[62:42]for the things I say I

[62:44]I

[62:47]um

[62:49]it's remember the things I say if you

[62:52]care and

[62:54]know that they're coming straight from

[62:56]my heart they're authentic expressions

[62:59]of of how I feel about things and and

[63:02]and respect them you

[63:04]know so it's challenging we'll figure it

[63:07]out I understand that this Dynamic is

[63:10]weird for me

[63:12]so how do you strike the right balance

[63:15]between sharing and comments and and I

[63:17]see that when I talk about it that it

[63:19]discourages people from commenting

[63:22]sometimes and um and I'm not trying to

[63:24]do that

[63:26]it's just and I understand it you're

[63:29]from your end thinking well I'm not

[63:31]trying to offend this

[63:33]person um and I don't know what to say

[63:36]and I get that because I'm a hard person

[63:38]to understand I've experienced that all

[63:40]of my life

[63:44]um I guess what I would say to that is

[63:48]if what you are sharing is coming from

[63:50]your

[63:51]heart and you're trying to understand me

[63:55]and you're trying to respect my

[63:57]boundaries then say the

[64:00]thing

[64:02]because when you're genuinely

[64:06]yourself I'll see that and that matters

[64:10]a lot so I don't know let's try that

[64:13]let's see what that does to

[64:16]um the dynamic of sharing together cuz

[64:20]that's what this is about I want I want

[64:22]to share with you this isn't I don't

[64:24]want this to be one side did I'm trying

[64:27]to

[64:29]have I realized you know all of this is

[64:32]about connection

[64:34]I'm I want to connect with people I've

[64:37]spent so long by myself and but I

[64:41]discovered that it it's just not working

[64:43]on YouTube and I don't know if that

[64:48]is a permanent barrier or just something

[64:51]that needs to be worked

[64:53]on and so let's work on it

[64:57]together that's a

[65:05]fishy I love

[65:13]this I am coming back here a lot wow

[65:19]this place is perfect wonder if there's

[65:22]RV parks around here I am definitely

[65:25]checking on that let's

[65:29]go all right I will definitely think

[65:31]through my camera situation I don't

[65:34]think using my phone is the best plus I

[65:36]want something that's just attached to

[65:37]me or

[65:39]something here we go you know I am doing

[65:42]better

[65:43]because not nearly out of breath like I

[65:46]would have been on those first couple

[65:47]hikes I

[65:49]took so that's

[65:52]good I hope that my body is healthy

[65:55]inside

[65:56]you never really know right so I'm

[65:59]hoping I haven't completely destroyed

[66:01]myself as I'm just now starting

[66:04]to um Embrace who I am and make all

[66:10]these changes in my life like it'd be so

[66:13]tragic if I went through all this work

[66:15]and then

[66:16]died like is a fear I am it is I'm I'm

[66:21]I'm vocalizing it

[66:23]now I hope that's not the case let me

[66:26]live to

[66:27]be really

[66:30]old super

[66:33]old and active though like I'd have to

[66:36]be active I don't want to be old and and

[66:38]not be able to do

[66:40]anything so hopefully I'm toning myself

[66:44]up now and I can make that a habit for

[66:46]the rest of my life

[66:48]and I know that that makes a difference

[66:51]I have seen it in others

[66:54]so um

[66:56]yeah let's hope it's not too late for

[67:01]me let's just enjoy you know the nature

[67:05]let's have a silent moment together

[67:35]that's just a noisy bug like what's it

[67:41]doing like it's so

[67:44]dramatic it's the dramatic bugs of the

[67:47]forest

[68:03]diversity holy [ __ ] does that look like

[68:05]a snake oh my God even down at the

[68:07]bottom like oh my

[68:09]God uh-uh who put that

[68:12]there boy does that look strategically

[68:15]St to freak the [ __ ] out of somebody

[68:25]25 I remember that

[68:28]Year good

[68:31]year one day I will pull out all my

[68:34]photos I have this photo album of me

[68:36]every age up to like 30 something then I

[68:40]stopped um but boy those pictures sure

[68:43]have stories behind

[68:46]them some of my youngest one's like 17

[68:49]18 19 I look like I'm in my 30s I had my

[68:52]hair grown out multiple colors of hair

[68:56]from dying it so

[68:58]much

[69:01]26 probably one of my favorite years I

[69:04]don't remember why

[69:06]though I definitely love being

[69:14]26 have to look at my pictures I need

[69:18]the way my brain works I need

[69:20]um some kind of a trigger or an

[69:22]association that is such a tiny little

[69:24]frog I could have showing it to you oh

[69:26]it's

[69:32]adorable little baby frog

[69:59]these Bridges sure let you know how far

[70:00]you've got to

[70:07]go it's a nice Bridge

[70:12]27 I love this more places to do this

[71:29]guess I'm the one clearing all the

[71:31]spider webs on the route today

[72:12]E I like spider cell just not in my

[72:17]face um they're

[72:23]fascinating oo I heard

[72:26]no I've actually started with

[72:40]me 28 you realize we haven't met a

[72:44]single person on this Trail so far how

[72:46]cool is

[72:47]that I shouldn't say that because you

[72:49]know I just invited

[72:53]it but I don't think the world works

[72:56]that way I think that's very

[72:58]superstitious I don't think it works

[73:00]that way guys let's be rational

[73:05]people oh clear water that is so

[73:13]neat you can see something moving at the

[73:15]water's

[73:23]edge so cool

[73:26]I like this

[73:28]place man I wish I'd grown up near a

[73:30]place like

[73:31]this i' been out here all the time

[73:37]29 I would have been out here all the

[73:40]time I would have been would have known

[73:44]this place like the back of my

[73:51]hand yeah I'm going to start coming here

[73:54]I think

[73:55]it's a little out of the way for me

[73:58]but oh man is it worth

[74:02]it I have a month that I'm

[74:05]here I just need to get out here as much

[74:07]as I

[74:15]can this is a good place to work on your

[74:19]your um physical

[74:21]health 30 it's not too Str or anything

[74:25]it's you know pretty basic honestly

[74:32]um but that's where you got to start you

[74:35]don't want to you know you've got

[74:37]moments like this

[74:41]and um and then

[74:43]fairly straight paths

[74:46]but um I think that's exactly this is

[74:49]exactly what you

[74:50]need do this for a

[74:53]month um and then and start finding some

[74:56]more difficult places to

[75:01]go and there is one nearby I saw it on

[75:03]all Trails there was a much more

[75:06]difficult Trail I knew I couldn't even

[75:08]attempt

[75:11]32 I might want to get some hiking

[75:16]gear um my backpack isn't really

[75:18]designed for this environment

[75:22]33 33 was a good year

[75:30]um that's going to take us off the trail

[75:32]I

[75:33]think

[75:35]or yeah I expect this to be kind of you

[75:38]know let's go look at the lake kind of

[75:42]thing am I

[75:44]wrong okay well we're going to take that

[75:46]other Branch one

[75:49]day see where that goes

[76:07]I mean you really can't beat the views I

[76:09]mean I suppose you could if you wanted

[76:13]to point out thousands and thousands of

[76:15]other places but that's a great View

[76:34]I wonder what happened to those

[76:39]two wonder how old they were when they

[76:49]died older than

[76:53]us oh it yes y that just brought us out

[76:56]to the oh no okay

[77:00]okay

[77:05]um it's not a bad

[77:08]spot could see chilling

[77:11]here it's still not what I'm looking

[77:14]for I'm thinking of a place at the

[77:17]Natural Bridge beautiful

[77:20]butterfly

[77:22]um don't think you're going to find that

[77:24]here but just something that that

[77:28]that touches my soul the same way that

[77:31]place

[77:32]does I haven't found that here yet I

[77:35]found it at um Lake Cumberland if you

[77:37]watch that video we had pulled off to

[77:40]this one spot and I was like

[77:42]wow that spot was

[77:45]magic looking for

[77:49]that so the reviews did say the trail

[77:52]started branching off and people would

[77:54]get lost

[77:56]I

[77:57]think

[77:59]um I don't

[78:02]know said one of the signs was the wrong

[78:06]way oh that's a steep climb

[78:10]really and this is the way are you

[78:14]sure oh here we

[78:16]go what's over there though I have to

[78:21]know

[78:23]um yeah I'm going to keep coming back

[78:25]here though I will find

[78:29]out okay wait a

[78:33]minute how can this be the way it's like

[78:36]we're heading back the okay way we came

[78:38]so explain

[78:45]that this feels

[78:50]wrong does

[79:03]I'm skeptical

[79:05]guys I'm skeptical I think a local did

[79:09]that let's find

[79:14]out I just want to get you climbing

[79:21]uphill well now when we get to the next

[79:24]Bridge

[79:29]a lot of spider

[79:31]webs

[79:36]Springs

[79:38]okay more oh

[79:41]no oh

[79:43]no up

[79:45]that

[79:47]no oh God kill me are you kidding

[79:52]me oh here we go

[79:58]okay

[80:00]okay I know you're taking me the wrong

[80:03]way I know you

[80:07]are here we go

[80:29]I am feeling

[80:34]deceived doesn't make sense to be off

[80:38]the

[80:50]water well that tree's got a red ribbon

[80:53]around it

[80:57]all

[80:58]right

[81:01]wow trust me guys this

[81:05]camera doesn't do dep well that was

[81:10]steep that was practically a vertical

[81:12]climb

[81:27]we're good

[81:28]though

[81:32]okay all right I'm back towards the

[81:34]water

[81:57]hey kind of looks like a trail down

[82:10]there oh this is

[82:13]wonderful

[82:16]oh hey holy

[82:18][ __ ]

[82:20]awesome who did that

[82:34]yeah we're

[82:36]stopping oh my

[82:40][Music]

[82:42]gosh am out of breath for

[82:47]sure say as he starts fing

[82:55]got to get the right um mixture of

[82:59]chemicals into my bloodstream you know

[83:02]oxygen

[83:04]nicotine perfectly

[83:07]normal this is

[83:11]cool oh did I just find the spot I don't

[83:16]think so

[83:18]because you're always going to be

[83:19]wondering if there are other hikers

[83:21]coming through

[83:25]um had to give this spot a solid seven

[83:29]and a half out of 10

[83:43]though

[83:53]nice this is what what life's about

[83:59]guys you can't beat this you can't beat

[84:01]this in a

[84:02]city a suburb a

[84:06]Township a mining

[84:15]Colony this is where it's

[84:20]at for me the one thing that can compete

[84:22]with this are nightclubs

[84:26]oh I miss that life sometimes I

[84:30]do and it's not my age that keeps me

[84:32]from going

[84:35]just I don't know I don't know if I'll

[84:38]do that ever

[84:42]again I

[84:45]might I don't

[84:47]know you can't do nightclubs without

[84:49]drugs and I'm not sure that I

[84:51]really would want to so yeah that's why

[84:54]I haven't

[84:58]gone not a big drinker so I used to get

[85:02]these Long Island nice teas I drink like

[85:05]seven of them in a night I'll would be

[85:07]so plastered I remember on my 21st

[85:10]birthday I woke up in my bed the day

[85:13]after no idea how I got there and I live

[85:17]30 miles from there didn't have a car I

[85:20]spent a large portion of my life walking

[85:22]everywhere and somehow I woke up in my

[85:26]bed I have no idea how that

[85:31]happened hope I wasn't taken advantage

[85:34]of

[85:35]because you know I don't remember so

[85:41]wow that's not even the that's even the

[85:44]worst thing that's happened to me

[85:46]like I remember one

[85:49]time my friend Nancy she's Old Hippie

[85:52]and she was my best friend forever and

[85:54]she had given me these pills before a

[85:57]bob Dyan concert that made me so tired I

[86:00]didn't make it into the concert so sad

[86:03]and then somehow I ended up on the side

[86:06]of a Road halfway between there and my

[86:09]house and I just slept on the side of

[86:11]the

[86:12]road someone ended up picking me up and

[86:15]took me home that

[86:17]time

[86:20]um I had an adventurous youth I did I

[86:23]needed think about it

[86:25]more my mind needs associations in order

[86:28]to pull that stuff out of my brain but

[86:31]it's all in there somewhere and I had an

[86:34]awesome

[86:36]life and I'm I hope to have an awesome

[86:39]life now you know it'll be different

[86:42]but just as awesome this is

[86:47]awesome I hear some

[86:49]hikers we got to get

[86:51]going nope m

[86:55]nobody has to see no people out here

[86:58]time to

[87:01]go that was a nice little

[87:05]break of course I go to the stop and let

[87:07]them pass and then you know

[87:10]weed um you know just being dramatic

[87:31]I'm thinking

[87:32]about it's a pretty long video it's

[87:34]already an hour and a half oh I'm so

[87:36]sorry guys I'm terrible um it's already

[87:38]an hour and a

[87:40]half

[87:42]and this video so I'm going to put in

[87:46]little milestones in it you know that

[87:48]tell you where the dialogue is and I was

[87:50]thinking I could even put in little like

[87:53]arrows for or like when the dialogue

[87:55]finally stop cuz it's not always clear

[87:57]cuz there's moments of Silence while

[87:58]we're still having that moment of

[88:00]dialogue

[88:02]um that say here skip here if you don't

[88:04]want to watch me walk down this

[88:06]Trail maybe I don't know that seems like

[88:09]a lot of

[88:11]work um if I did it on the computer

[88:14]probably won't be so bad but I do most

[88:16]of my editing on my phone

[88:19]still eventually I'll get into the habit

[88:22]of using my computer I did that with the

[88:24]gaming stuff I was working on that was

[88:27]fun a little challenging but fun

[88:30]and um you

[88:33]certainly have a lot more tools that

[88:36]way

[88:39]so maybe mushroom which I knew if you

[88:42]could eat it I would like to be able to

[88:45]identify such things I would love to be

[88:47]able to be a person who could do

[88:50]that now if we truly stayed on the trail

[88:53]this should be

[88:55]34 and it is so

[88:58]good we have not lost our

[89:03]way oh that tree tried to trip me you

[89:07]tried to trip me

[89:09]tree not very nice of

[89:13]you

[89:17]okay I mean that's a lot more that makes

[89:20]sense a lot more than some of the others

[89:22]we've seen so I'm like how are was

[89:25]not drawn to

[89:29]that okay here we

[89:44]go I'm enjoying

[89:49]this what a wonderful place that I found

[90:01]by a

[90:02]County water

[90:05]department would not have expected

[90:09]that just telling you my own ignorance

[90:11]I'm sure there's people out there they

[90:13]actually watch this far but I knew about

[90:15]them they'd have to comment

[90:18]that you didn't know about County Parks

[90:21]oh my God so which way

[90:26]come on what are those bugs that go

[90:28]straight for your eyes I hate those

[90:33]things

[90:34]okay I just think we're supposed to stay

[90:37]in the water

[90:38]so um you know it's that rocket

[90:49]science what do those bugs seem that

[90:52]attracts them to our eyeballs

[90:54]God mean could you imagine a more evil

[90:59]insect that it's a inspiration for some

[91:02]horror

[91:04]movies I love this spot this is a nice

[91:06]little

[91:07]spot hello

[91:14]sunlight very

[91:18]nice oh it's like a little island we're

[91:21]going to explore that one day yes we are

[91:24]are better believe

[91:27]it oh yes we

[91:30]are wait how will I get over there I'll

[91:33]figure it

[91:38]out this is

[91:43]wonderful

[91:49]uh-oh hello hello excuse me yep I heard

[91:54]you guys that have a good day did you go

[91:56]all the way around yep how long does it

[91:58]take so I would say we're probably maybe

[92:01]2 miles in probably like halfway of the

[92:03]main trail right here yeah probably

[92:05]about 2 miles we came from that

[92:07]direction um it's a circular Trail I'm

[92:10]pretty sure you're about 2 miles in if

[92:12]you keep going that way we did partway

[92:15]one time on the other side we never have

[92:17]done how far would you say you came in

[92:19]we started on this side though came

[92:21]where the park little parking area where

[92:23]the big light is the end of the would

[92:25]you say that you've hiked like a mile

[92:26]and a half to 2 miles and it's a whole

[92:29]because that would be halfway you're

[92:31]about halfway are we yeah it's pretty

[92:33]long it looks like it's longer than that

[92:35]looking yeah like there's more more than

[92:38]half like there's more than halfway left

[92:40]from here but that's good yeah I'd say

[92:42]well it took me an hour but I'm being

[92:44]very casual about it so oh thank you

[92:47]very much have a good

[92:50]day okay that's how you do social

[92:56]you just have to tolerate people

[92:58]who can't you know hear an answer the

[93:00]first time I

[93:02]guess

[93:13]okay

[93:21]35 36

[93:29]see it did take me an hour so um average

[93:32]person W hikes you walk 4 miles an hour

[93:36]you can hike I don't know 2 to 3 miles

[93:38]an hour on average I think I don't

[93:40]remember I haven't thought about that

[93:41]statistic in a long time

[93:44]so

[93:46]um definitely walking pretty slow I

[93:49]think it's 2 miles I don't know I don't

[93:52]remember not going to pretend I remember

[94:00]woo mean I don't want to give good

[94:02]advice I don't want to be wrong I hope I

[94:04]told them

[94:06]right

[94:10]um I remember oh you I didn't show you

[94:13]them because you know privacy they had a

[94:15]kid with them who was my nephew's age at

[94:18]the time that I used to take him hiking

[94:21]boy did he not like that

[94:24]um so they were probably thinking that

[94:26]too like our little kid

[94:29]here isn't being lot fun right

[94:33]now it depends on the kid

[94:35]though he seemed like he was doing all

[94:39]right

[94:44]okay um I might have we grew into it so

[94:47]I took him hiking at the Natural Bridge

[94:48]once and he did a really great job we

[94:50]had a great time it was fun um it was a

[94:53]very bonding experience you know

[94:55]and I'm really glad I did that with them

[94:59]38 um in fact my natural brid shirt that

[95:02]I have if you ever see me wearing it I

[95:05]got that with him and it's falling apart

[95:08]cuz I've had it for so long but that

[95:11]isn't the kind of shirt you throw away

[95:32]hope they'll be out right cuz

[95:35]some there are some spots

[95:38]where I don't know they were kind of

[95:42]old

[95:44]um and if they're asking me about the

[95:47]trail then they don't know the

[95:49]trail H almost feel like I need to H

[95:54]it's not my

[95:56]responsibility all right let's

[96:06]go I those little

[96:15]butterflying so I

[96:17]realized not for this cuz I want to put

[96:20]this in the little time stamps so I

[96:23]realized

[96:24]why I was so into astrology and

[96:25]numerology when I was younger and it's

[96:26]because I'm a system thinker I didn't

[96:28]even didn't know that back then in

[96:31]astrology and numerology know you know

[96:33]there's pseud of science you put the

[96:34]word science in them

[96:37]um had had intricate systems so they

[96:41]were a way of explaining the world that

[96:43]my systems thinking

[96:45]brain found value in I really got into

[96:48]it it's

[96:49]fascinating

[96:51]um but at some point I just became way

[96:54]more logical and you know my system

[96:57]thinking brain started making

[96:59]associations and said no no no no that's

[97:02]not real and what made me think of that

[97:03]is we're on bridge 39 now

[97:08]39 which is a numerological number for

[97:12]me and just made me think of

[97:17]it what a lovely time guys thanks for

[97:21]joining me here we go

[97:33]man this is so

[97:34]cool

[97:36]uhoh hold on guys we have a

[97:41]traveler

[97:45]hello how are you I'm good good thank

[97:48]you have

[97:51]fun okay

[97:57]here we

[98:02]go what's that oh it's a bridge okay

[98:05]wait what is

[98:07]that what is that it is a bridge

[98:10]okay okay I thought maybe over here I

[98:13]just thought maybe it was from a

[98:16]distance it looked like old train tracks

[98:18]or

[98:20]something I was wrong

[98:23]I love train tracks

[98:26]40 used to walk them all the time oh God

[98:29]no

[98:30]no I don't want to climb you you look

[98:35]evil you look

[98:38]evil there we

[98:47]go up we

[98:51]go okay

[98:55][Music]

[98:56]okay you killed me I am

[99:03]dead

[99:06]okay we

[99:08]survived we

[99:11]survived oh we're going over

[99:15]there

[99:17]oh

[99:18]resit from the evil Hill

[99:24]oh man this is making me think of a

[99:26]bunch of video games like Horizon

[99:28]forbidden West or

[99:31]um you know little spots where you save

[99:34]your game at oh my God that's what this

[99:37]feels like let's go save my

[99:44]game someone left a cool walking

[99:50]think somebody picked some flowers and

[99:52]it didn't take

[99:55]Bo this is not it could have at least

[99:58]made it level is bad at me is they're as

[100:02]bad as me at

[100:04]loveling nobody's chilling here for long

[100:09]wow really

[100:12]why why would you do that this is not

[100:18]pleasant I've ruined it

[100:24]oh it's so

[100:29]pretty my God it's so

[100:46]peaceful you can't beat

[100:51]this I mean you can but

[100:58]it's up

[101:06]there I just know how people

[101:10]are I say you can't beat this and they

[101:13]comment oh yeah I can [ __ ] people

[101:19]man so disrespectful

[101:24]why don't you just honor people's

[101:25]experiences you can't do

[101:29]that I'm talking to all of

[101:35]you when I say you I'm thinking Humanity

[101:38]I'm not thinking any individual you know

[101:40]when I'm on camera I'm not thinking

[101:42]about the you know somebody's looking at

[101:45]this on their phone and I'm saying you

[101:48]and you're like oh I feel attacked I get

[101:50]that so try not to do that but I don't

[101:53]you know this is my language this how I

[101:54]talk and um I'm just

[102:00]thinking when I make videos I'm not

[102:03]thinking about anybody I'm thinking

[102:07]about it's like I'm posting into this

[102:10]void

[102:12]that

[102:14]um represents an archetype for Humanity

[102:18]you know and it's just

[102:20]um that's what makes it possible for me

[102:22]to make these videos is the fact that

[102:24]I'm just thinking about

[102:26]this um an idea of a person

[102:30]not anyone in

[102:33]particular so please don't take offense

[102:36]you know if something doesn't apply to

[102:37]you there's no reason to if it does

[102:40]apply to you maybe take offense I don't

[102:42]know maybe think on it you know maybe

[102:45]gain some

[102:46]perspective you maybe I'm wrong too I'm

[102:49]not right about everything and I don't

[102:51]pretend to be I make mistakes all the

[102:53]time and I update my thinking on I have

[102:57]a completely open mind if if I'm

[102:59]presented with information that

[103:00]resonates with me it it will Cascade

[103:03]through my system thinking brain and

[103:06]just update it just like a computer and

[103:09]that will be my new um my new Baseline

[103:13]that's just how that works I don't know

[103:15]if everyone is that way I'm you know

[103:17]during my personal growth journey I have

[103:19]discovered I actually have a very unique

[103:21]cognitive Style

[103:23]and I didn't

[103:25]know I we as humans have a tendency

[103:30]to um think that people everybody thinks

[103:33]the same right

[103:35]so I didn't know it took me 47 years to

[103:38]figure that out let's

[103:41]go I think we're about there

[103:45]41 think I might have Miss guided those

[103:47]people a little

[103:49]bit it felt like 2 miles I don't know

[103:55][Music]

[103:57]42 what's that expression for

[104:00]that everything blah blah blah something

[104:03]from a

[104:08]book it's not a very good book I've read

[104:11]it I know lot of people like it but I'm

[104:14]kind of you know you got to have a

[104:17]certain cognitive style for that book I

[104:21]guess see diversity it's a good

[104:25]thing

[104:27]um I do feel like we're probably getting

[104:31]there which will make me sad I actually

[104:34]don't want to get there

[104:38]43 very good number

[105:01]44 I think that's the last one right oh

[105:04]no it's

[105:06]47 right

[105:20]okay yeah must be 47

[105:24]oh this is so peaceful

[105:29]wow

[105:32]45 let's not talk about that

[105:36]number

[105:46]um actually don't know which number was

[105:49]Trump I don't

[105:51]remember h could be

[105:54]wrong and then you'll be like what's he

[105:56]talking

[105:58]about

[106:00][Music]

[106:16]46 very pleasant

[106:29]oh we made

[106:30]in we're back at the parking

[106:34]lot I think it's not our parking lot

[106:37]though that's

[106:38]interesting not a circular

[106:42]Trail o what is

[106:48]that what are you

[106:55]where have we

[107:03]emerged a nature

[107:12]preserve okay I have no idea what this

[107:15]thing is

[107:17]none Spillway something in my brain says

[107:21]to say that it's next to a dam they can

[107:24]put water through it or something if it

[107:26]gets too high I don't

[107:29]know assuming that's a damn I don't know

[107:32]is it a dam I guess I mean cuz it looks

[107:34]natural to me kind of I see my Jeep it's

[107:39]over there it's so pretty it's so

[107:44]pretty imagine walking up that

[107:47]uh-uh that is a skill level

[107:51]100 oh

[107:57]okay this doesn't feel

[108:00]sturdy oh my

[108:02]God we're up too

[108:05]high we're going to take this one

[108:13]slow pretty freaking cool oh my God I

[108:18]love

[108:19]this wow

[108:23]what a Hidden Gem in the

[108:25]world look at all those mountains in the

[108:29]background this is a nice

[108:37]place oh I'm going to be here a

[108:41]bunch hell

[108:46]yeah I needed

[108:48]this I needed to find this place

[108:56]what is that thing over there like what

[108:58]is that thing doing I don't get it

[109:01]what's its

[109:10]purpose H I bet this is man-made isn't

[109:13]it just a man-made lake how do we do

[109:17]that just make Lakes wherever we want

[109:27]wonder what's that

[109:29]way oh that's the

[109:31]road yeah okay that's that's the

[109:34]road back I want to go

[109:38]back I don't want

[109:44]to I don't want to I hate that place

[110:02]I ain't going back I don't want

[110:15]to people chilling over there

[110:19]fishing I could come here someday and be

[110:21]like will you teach me please

[110:24]somebody would say

[110:27]yes I need to know how to fish and I

[110:29]need to know how to need to see if I can

[110:32]do it

[110:34]like God help me if I do catch a

[110:38]fish but I need to learn you need to

[110:44]learn I mean

[110:46]honestly need some skills so that I'm

[110:50]prepared if something happens I'm I'm

[110:52]not saying it well I'm just saying there

[110:54]are strong

[110:57]indicators

[110:59]oh I want to be

[111:03]prepared I

[111:06]do I don't know if I could do that

[111:09]I I don't

[111:15]know I saw when I was driving back

[111:19]yesterday I saw um I got behind this

[111:22]vehicle that had a trailer on it that

[111:24]was Towing some

[111:25]cows and there was this little cow in

[111:28]the

[111:29]back and I got close to it because it

[111:33]was a merging situation and you could

[111:35]tell it it scared the cow I didn't know

[111:37]they were back

[111:38]there and I just felt so bad for that

[111:41]cow like I just kept looking at it it

[111:43]was looking me in the

[111:45]eyes and I just was

[111:48]like I felt so bad for that c

[111:55]so

[111:58]um yeah me fishing I I don't

[112:01]know could I I don't

[112:04]know I doubt it I doubt it it have to

[112:10]be an absolute

[112:13]necessity you

[112:17]know I don't

[112:20]know it's not my nature to go around

[112:23]killing things

[112:24]so

[112:29]um it's a cognitive dissonance you know

[112:32]I eat meat but it don't look like that

[112:35]cow does and it don't look like those

[112:38]fish that come out of the

[112:40]water you know so that's a different

[112:43]thing to you know what is that thing why

[112:47]do they have that platform out there all

[112:49]these

[112:50]little pipes sticking out

[112:53]um what do you do what is your

[112:57]purpose I must find

[113:00]out I will ask you

[113:05]gu what a nice view up here like just

[113:09]wow I like these kinds of Vantage

[113:13]points so awesome

[113:29]so some people park over there and take

[113:30]the tra

[113:32]backwards um I did that a lot I used to

[113:35]go um you know

[113:38]counterclockwise

[113:40]um sometime yeah especially if you take

[113:43]a TR all the time you want to mix it up

[113:46]um different kind of a

[113:48]workout depends which way you're going

[114:05]hope I'm not stepping on

[114:07]anything you can hear

[114:17]them they have a right to live too

[114:20]they're in their environment right now

[114:22]not

[114:36]mine it's easy for us to ignore stuff

[114:39]like that but we

[114:43]shouldn't not saying you have to be

[114:45]perfect just be

[114:50]mindful what is your purpose

[114:54]what do you

[114:55]do it has a purpose I wonder if there's

[114:58]a structure under here like an lost or

[115:02]something there could be a big old

[115:04]tunnel under

[115:13]here maybe this

[115:17]where some government people come in in

[115:19]the world

[115:20]ends and they got got a water

[115:24]source man listen to me I I might not

[115:27]even be wrong okay like

[115:31]wow solar panel for their little

[115:34]whatever that

[115:46]is very cool place

[115:54]place for the locals to come it's County

[115:57]and give them a place

[116:00]to find peace from

[116:03]their you know other obligations in

[116:11]life yeah I'm not going to walk down

[116:14]that Hill I'm I'm

[116:16]old I'm tired

[116:21]now so we're just going to walk

[116:24]around you know 10 years ago I had

[116:27]definitely gone down that

[116:30]Hill not

[116:33]today maybe one

[116:36]day let's find out if that

[116:39]happens I definitely have to come

[116:46]back

[116:48]hello you like what they're doing over

[116:51]there Day fishing

[116:53]very

[116:57]cool I wonder what they kind of fish do

[116:59]they find in

[117:01]there

[117:04]hi oh there's a chain

[117:09]there I got to walk

[117:13]around

[117:18]okay I was going to make a joke when we

[117:20]got back and say let's do it again

[117:22]and then actually do it but

[117:25]no nope that last mile got me I

[117:29]think we are

[117:33]done maybe one

[117:35]day that was so fun I don't want to go

[117:42]back we shall see like look at that two

[117:45]hours perfect timing hope you all had

[117:49]fun on my little Adventure

[117:53]oh yeah it's a good day

[118:35]something about this spot right here is

[118:37]just magical to me the way that that

[118:40]down and gray mix together especially

[118:43]when the sun is shining on it just is so

[118:46]beautiful every time I come past this

[118:48]spot right here I am just blown away at

[118:49]its beauty and it has something to do

[118:52]with the

[119:05]colors this is a nice little

[119:07]spot we're getting out in the boonies I

[119:10]don't even know where we are Maran

[119:14]County not familiar with that

[119:18]one I absolutely love Kentucky it is

[119:21]just so beautiful

[119:22]roads like these

[119:24]just are so fun to be on and I know my

[119:29]camera doesn't do it justice I should

[119:30]have brought my other camera I didn't

[119:32]think about it it would have been a good

[119:34]day for trying that out cuz I haven't

[119:36]ever used it yet

Summary

rswfire explores Cecil L Gorly Naturalist Trail in Lebanon, Kentucky, a 3.75-mile loop trail featuring 47 numbered bridges around a lake. He discusses maintaining distance from his parents after cutting contact a month or two prior, shares details about his dental implant process and upcoming permanent dentures, and reflects on his eating patterns after watching a Netflix show about eating disorders.

**Trail Experience**: Documents the hiking experience bridge by bridge, noting the peaceful environment, clear water, and scenic overlooks. Encounters a few other hikers but mostly has the trail to himself. Takes breaks at various spots along the lake.

**Personal Updates**: Explains his temporary dentures cause gag reflex issues and discusses the implant process with four rods screwed into his skull. Acknowledges possible eating disorder - typically eating once per day and having difficulty with food due to choking fears that developed around age 27.

**Sleep and Health Issues**: Addresses poor sleep quality, waking up in pain, and taking Benadryl nightly without success. Discusses his old mattress preferences and challenges of finding suitable bedding for RV life.

**Content Creation Reflections**: Considers camera equipment needs for hiking videos, discusses the balance between sharing authentically and managing viewer advice/comments. Notes the video length (nearly 2 hours) and considers adding timestamps for navigation.

**Trail Details**: Managed by local water department, features wooden bridges, benches, and overlooks. Encounters spider webs, various insects, small wildlife. Ends at a dam/spillway structure with fishing areas.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission demonstrates field stabilization through direct somatic engagement with natural systems. The hiking narrative serves as substrate for processing institutional rupture, establishing new relational boundaries, and calibrating authentic connection protocols while maintaining sovereign positioning.

Dominant Language

authentic/authenticallyconnectionboundaries/respectsharing/sharenature/trees/waterchallenging/challengesalone/solitude

Symbolic Elements

bridgeswatertreestrailthresholdmirrorcircle

Ontological States

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sovereign
•
transitional
•
embodied
•
integrating

Subsystems

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somatic
•
relational
•
cognitive
•
ethical

Transmission Details

Source Type

youtube

Duration