[0:00]hi
[0:01]everyone so this is a deeply personal
[0:04]message I have
[0:05]today if you've been following my
[0:07]channel long enough you know that I have
[0:10]been trying to understand my motivations
[0:13]be behind doing this behind moving into
[0:16]an
[0:18]RV I knew what a lot of them were a lot
[0:21]of them were very obvious but there were
[0:24]some that were just felt Elusive and I
[0:26]needed to understand them and there have
[0:29]been things going on in my
[0:31]life right in front of my face and I
[0:34]didn't see it I understand now I've
[0:36]reached
[0:37]Clarity I was getting away from my
[0:42]parents my father is a narcissist I
[0:46]didn't know that for some reason I'm 47
[0:49]years old and I've only just now figured
[0:50]this out he's he is a narcissist
[0:53]probably a sociopath
[0:57]too right in front of my face I tell you
[1:01]all the time how perceptive I am
[1:03]intuitive all of that could not see it
[1:06]in my
[1:07]parents my mother on the other
[1:11]hand she's just emotionally
[1:13]unavailable due to her own
[1:16]issues and she has used those
[1:20]issues to manipulate me emotionally my
[1:23]whole
[1:25]life when she wants something she knows
[1:28]exactly how to get it out of me and she
[1:30]does it all the
[1:31]time while also being unavailable to me
[1:35]emotionally she was at my house two or 3
[1:38]days every single week for years and I
[1:41]don't think we ever had a serious
[1:42]conversation on her side I'm constantly
[1:46]talking about my feelings she's not
[1:49]validating them she's not discussing
[1:51]them with
[1:53]me I'm not even sure she's listening
[1:55]half the
[1:57]time these Dynamics
[2:02]made made it feel impossible to live
[2:05]there because how do you tell your
[2:08]mother I don't know that you should be
[2:09]coming over anymore because every time
[2:12]the day approaches I have anxiety about
[2:15]it how do you tell your mother that
[2:18]especially someone you you truly love
[2:21]profoundly and have spent
[2:24]decades
[2:25]supporting my father gave up on life
[2:28]quite a long time ago and I have been
[2:30]financially helping them ever
[2:33]since
[2:35]so the day that I cut ties with her
[2:38]there were some other things I didn't
[2:40]mention in my my video about
[2:42]this I was going to get Oliver back my
[2:45]cat because I'm stationary for another 2
[2:48]and A2 months and I thought that's a
[2:49]pretty good period of time to try to
[2:51]acclimate him to this
[2:54]environment I knew my mother was going
[2:56]to fight me on this I just knew
[3:00]and she
[3:01]did when it was clear that I wanted to
[3:04]go and get him the first thing she said
[3:06]to me was please don't take him from
[3:08]me this is my cat and she's saying that
[3:12]to me in that way to emotionally
[3:15]manipulate
[3:16]me later because I told her I said
[3:20]choose choose him or me because I was
[3:23]the only choice you was going to get out
[3:25]of me at that
[3:28]point she pretended to choose me because
[3:30]that's how she is and she said I'll
[3:33]abide by your
[3:35]decision well just to say that I'm
[3:37]putting her in a situation where she
[3:39]doesn't have a
[3:42]choice and she's just emotionally
[3:44]manipulating me that way this is how she
[3:47]is and I didn't see that either I didn't
[3:49]see that my whole life that she was
[3:52]emotionally
[3:53]unavailable and emotionally manipulating
[3:56]me she didn't share her emotions and she
[3:59]used mine against me I am
[4:02]infuriated I am just angry
[4:05]now because this has been the pattern my
[4:08]entire life with them so today my mother
[4:12]had credit cards that they were my
[4:14]accounts but you know she had her own
[4:16]cards I cancelled those and there was a
[4:20]couple other things like a service with
[4:22]Nintendo that they both use I cancelled
[4:25]that they didn't even need it right
[4:28]because they played this one game
[4:30]as far as I know this membership I had
[4:32]was irrelevant to that but I saw a
[4:36]notification on my phone that my mother
[4:39]or my father tried to use my credit card
[4:42]in order to renew that subscription
[4:44]right after I had canceled
[4:46]it that is a betrayal of
[4:49]trust and that sealed their fate with me
[4:53]because I will never speak to either one
[4:55]of them ever again for the rest of my
[4:58]life the only thing that I'm still
[5:00]paying for is my mother's phone and I
[5:02]will continue to do that because I don't
[5:05]want to talk to her and because it is a
[5:08]pretty vital service and I have no idea
[5:10]what she uses it for and I can pretty
[5:12]much put that in the back of my mind and
[5:13]never think about it but I'm
[5:17]done I moved into this camper to get
[5:19]away from them to be independent to get
[5:22]on with my life to to focus on my
[5:25]well-being and my
[5:26]happiness and I will not let and I won't
[5:29]sacrifice for them and ever again cuzz
[5:31]that's what I've been doing my whole
[5:32]life sacrificing my happiness for them
[5:35]all my life they have been making me
[5:37]feel like I'm the problem if there's
[5:38]something wrong with
[5:40]me they are broken I am broken because
[5:44]of them but I'm trying to fix myself and
[5:47]the only way to do that is to cut ties
[5:51]goodbye mom goodbye Dad you will never
[5:55]hear from me again