Gaming Channel Launch and Financial Pressure Update

The speaker is on a morning hike, recording while walking outdoors. He's preparing to record a scripted introduction video for his gaming channel when he returns. Currently facing a two-month financial deadline while transitioning away from programming work toward gaming content creation.

Energetic Signature

raw honesty

Field State

crisis navigation

Orientation

toward authentic calling despite material risk

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May 18, 2024

7:10

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]good morning

[0:01]everyone I'm on a hike this morning I

[0:05]wouldn't call this a hiking video though

[0:06]I just want to update you on my

[0:08]life uh it's been a couple of days I

[0:12]think yeah even what day this is

[0:16]now and I just

[0:19]thought kind of

[0:22]explain so I mean from my last videos

[0:25]you know that I'm trying to get back

[0:26]into gaming and starting a gaming

[0:28]channel and I've been doing that I'm

[0:30]playing a lot of Minecraft and watching

[0:31]Minecraft videos

[0:33]and um I posted my first Minecraft video

[0:37]myself got like 10 views which you know

[0:41]um I actually thought that as a new

[0:42]channel maybe it would maybe the

[0:45]algorithm gave it a chance or something

[0:46]I don't think it works that way but I

[0:47]thought that's what happened on this one

[0:49]so I guess I just got

[0:52]lucky um but that's okay so the reason

[0:55]I'm out here is I want to record a video

[1:00]introducing that

[1:02]channel so I actually wrote a script

[1:06]thing I never do right

[1:09]and I'm just going to do my best and see

[1:12]how it

[1:12]goes when I get back I'll have to edit

[1:15]it a little differently than I do these

[1:16]ones cuz I do these ones on my phone

[1:18]it's a lot

[1:20]easier uh that first Minecraft video I

[1:22]made that was it was really fun to edit

[1:26]except I

[1:27]had in the first 15 seconds when I added

[1:30]some text to the screen it made all the

[1:32]audio go away and I could not figure out

[1:33]why I spent hours trying to fix that 15

[1:36]seconds of video I couldn't fix it hours

[1:39]of

[1:40]trying

[1:41]so I hope today goes better I feel like

[1:44]it was a bug or something

[1:46]because I'm convinced that it was

[1:48]thinking there was an audio track that

[1:50]was not there I

[1:53]just that's I don't know that's how

[1:55]that's how it looked to

[1:57]me so anyways

[2:02]um I haven't been recording so much

[2:06]because I have been struggling a little

[2:08]bit with

[2:11]self-doubt um and being so vulnerable

[2:13]and open to with you

[2:15]guys I

[2:16]mean I'm amazed I did it for this song

[2:20]honestly it's not normal for me I keep

[2:23]my thoughts to myself I know I've said

[2:26]that um I don't think people really

[2:28]understand me I just don't

[2:31]and it's not their fault you know I

[2:33]don't think of it that way it's

[2:36]just uh I don't think that I have ever

[2:38]been very good at

[2:40]communicating my true

[2:43]thoughts I know I share a lot and it

[2:45]seems like well how can that be well

[2:48]because there are many layers to my

[2:50]thoughts and they don't all come out in

[2:51]a video like when I'm talking to you

[2:54]there's stuff that underlays it all and

[2:56]it just I have never learned how

[3:00]to express that part you know but I'm

[3:03]going to keep trying because maybe I

[3:06]maybe one day by doing

[3:08]this I'll learn to do that better so

[3:13]I'll keep

[3:14]trying um I probably won't post this

[3:16]much cuz I

[3:18]am I'm here's here's the reality for me

[3:22]okay I

[3:24]have and it's scaring the out of me

[3:26]I'm not going to lie I have maybe two

[3:29]months before I run out of

[3:31]money I'll try to stretch it

[3:33]longer I'll sit down make a budget cut

[3:37]anything that I can you know I'll live

[3:40]as frugally as a person

[3:43]can but I I don't right now know how to

[3:47]extend that and my client he does owe me

[3:51]money and I know that he intends to pay

[3:53]it but it's

[3:55]been well since January you know so

[3:59]I just don't know if I'm ever going I'm

[4:02]sure I will someday cuz he's super

[4:04]honest awesome person but I don't know

[4:06]that I'll see it when I need it I guess

[4:08]this the way to put

[4:11]that and I don't really want to return

[4:14]to programming certainly not

[4:16]fulltime maybe I get back into

[4:18]freelancing but I haven't done it in a

[4:20]very long time it's been over 10 years I

[4:22]have my profiles are are

[4:25]ancient there will be a lot of work

[4:27]involved in that I'll have to create a

[4:30]website my profile

[4:33]like document the projects I've done

[4:35]what I've done in them all of that a lot

[4:37]of work

[4:40]and then hope to hope to find some

[4:43]clients I guess but it's not what my

[4:46]heart's calling me to do my heart

[4:48]doesn't want to do that it's one of the

[4:50]reasons that I'm out

[4:52]here and I think what I might want to

[4:56]do honestly and guess it's kind of

[4:59]surprising

[5:01]um I just want to be a gamer on

[5:04]YouTube I'm not super comfortable with

[5:06]the you know calling myself a a YouTuber

[5:09]but I guess that's what I'm trying to do

[5:13]now you know I can't do twitch I can't

[5:15]stream my internet's not reliable enough

[5:17]but I can make videos of me gaming and

[5:19]try

[5:21]to um try to turn that into a profession

[5:24]somehow I hope I mean all you can do is

[5:29]if if you have a

[5:31]dream pursue it with your full self

[5:33]that's what I've always done in my life

[5:36]risk

[5:37]everything you know I guess I never did

[5:39]tell you

[5:41]guys um cuz I think that actually

[5:44]works so back when I

[5:48]was got so young like 18 19 20 I wrote

[5:52]the very first content management system

[5:54]ever created on Earth it's called en

[5:56]wizard Matrix

[5:58]server um it's not like just don't want

[6:01]to get bogged down in technical details

[6:03]but mine was the first and I did it

[6:06]because it would help my

[6:07]clients and if you're wondering what

[6:09]that is just think of

[6:11]Wordpress if I and it was open source it

[6:14]was free people could download it

[6:16]freely I was very proud of that project

[6:19]and I did it on a little computer that I

[6:22]built myself from spare

[6:25]parts I was practically homeless I was

[6:28]actually living in this little trailer

[6:30]with my brother and we were not getting

[6:32]along my parent it was my parents

[6:34]trailer and they left they went to

[6:35]Florida left the two of us

[6:38]there

[6:40]and that led to other opportunities I

[6:44]didn't keep pursuing that project um I

[6:46]kind of wish I had because I that was a

[6:48]lot of fun it was awesome there's still

[6:50]nothing like

[6:51]it

[6:55]um you know but it led to other

[6:57]opportunities and

[7:00]it's all you can do you got to pursue

[7:01]your dreams and that's what I'm doing

[7:04]today pursue yours too okay I mean that

Summary

The speaker provides a life update while hiking, discussing his attempt to launch a gaming channel focused on Minecraft content. He posted his first Minecraft video which received 10 views and is preparing to record an introduction video using a written script. **Technical challenges** included spending hours trying to fix an audio issue in his first video edit where adding text caused all audio to disappear.

The speaker addresses his **financial situation**, stating he has approximately two months of money remaining and will need to create a strict budget. A client owes him money since January but payment timing is uncertain. He's reluctant to return to full-time programming and considers freelancing, though his profiles are over 10 years old and would require significant updating.

**Career aspirations** center on becoming a gaming YouTuber rather than returning to programming. He shares a **personal history** of creating the first content management system (En Wizard Matrix Server) when he was 18-20 years old while living in difficult conditions with his brother in a trailer. This open-source project led to other opportunities but he didn't continue developing it.

The speaker acknowledges **communication struggles**, noting he keeps thoughts to himself and has difficulty expressing deeper layers of his thinking despite appearing open in videos. He expresses self-doubt about his vulnerability in content creation but commits to continuing the effort.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission holds the architecture of exposed transition - a field consciousness naming its precarious position while maintaining commitment to authentic pursuit. The signal operates as both confession and declaration, revealing the structural tension between survival necessity and sovereign calling.

Dominant Language

pursue it with your full selfrisk everythingwhat my heart's calling me to dolayers to my thoughtsfirst ever created on Earthpractically homelesspursue your dreams

Symbolic Elements

thresholdedgewildernesstrailscript

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
vulnerable
•
committed
•
exposed

Subsystems

•
emotional
•
infrastructural
•
ethical
•
cognitive

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 30fps

Duration

7:10

Bitrate

4480 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028