Processing Oliver Cat Separation and Grief

Speaker is at his parents' house visiting Oliver before continuing west in his RV. He has been experiencing waves of grief and finally identified the source as missing Oliver. This appears to be a closure visit before fully committing to mobile life.

Energetic Signature

resolute grief

Field State

responsibility integration

Orientation

toward ethical clarity through loss

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May 14, 2024

11:30

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:01]it took a

[0:03]while when I understand the starts of my

[0:05]grave Town pit

[0:09]Oliver I did not think about his needs I

[0:12]was optimistic instead of

[0:16]realistic he had a very troubled

[0:19]childhood he was

[0:24]abused he was thrown out of a moving car

[0:27]abandoned that way

[0:31]he's he's a very sweet sensitive

[0:33]cat he's a strong

[0:37]cat but I didn't think about the impact

[0:41]his life would have on him I thought

[0:43]that he

[0:46]would I thought that it would work as

[0:48]long as he was with

[0:50]me that was optimistic it wasn't

[0:55]unrealistic and so he hides from me

[1:00]I'm on my way to my parents to pick up

[1:02]some

[1:03]packages and I'm going to talk to

[1:07]them I need to let him know it's okay

[1:10]this is

[1:15]closure as his parents I had a

[1:18]responsibility to

[1:20]see his needs before my

[1:26]own that is a lesson I have learned from

[1:29]this

[1:32]it didn't matter how I was

[1:34]feeling his need should have come

[1:38]first and I will tell him

[1:42]that he broken our

[1:45]family mey has different needs he has to

[1:48]be with

[1:52]me and there's no way that this life

[1:54]would ever work for however I just did

[1:56]not think it through he doesn't

[2:00]really like to spend time

[2:03]outdoors and I don't think that he likes

[2:06]making Vehicles probably because of what

[2:09]happened to

[2:14]him I just imagined a life with them

[2:18]that was so different from what he's

[2:21]capable

[2:24]of but that's not his fault it is

[2:27]totally mine

[2:31]I share this with you for those who will

[2:36]help you know I've been having these

[2:38]moments of grief and I didn't understand

[2:40]them I thought it was my mom and I'm

[2:43]sure it is part of it and I did not g

[2:46]like

[2:48]this until I started thinking about

[2:52]Al

[2:54]and I am really going to miss him

[3:00]we had wonderful times

[3:08]together so I share this for those

[3:11]people that it might help to hear of

[3:14]someone else going through a similar

[3:18]situation I am not turning comments out

[3:20]on this one because there's nothing else

[3:22]to be

[3:24]said this is what it looks like to

[3:26]process creen

[3:30]and once I've done that I think I can

[3:31]move forward I know that he is somewhere

[3:34]stable and happy and that's what

[3:38]matters his happiness

[3:44]matters there's something closed to

[3:48]beet there are so many layers to

[3:52]this I God ol R my birthday one year

[3:56]after grieving another cat that passed

[3:58]away I let many many months pass

[4:03]and decided it was time and I got all of

[4:05]them second I saw my

[4:09]new it was already a year

[4:13]old and on my birthday I moved out to

[4:17]the camper and I lost him that

[4:21]day and it all started with a chat with

[4:24]ch had gbt in which I asked the question

[4:26]why do cats sit on our

[4:28]lap which led to deeper conversations

[4:32]because they always

[4:34]do which led to me breaking down in

[4:36]tears for the first time in

[4:38]years because of something chat gbt said

[4:41]to me that just resonated so

[4:43]strongly that I realized just how

[4:46]unhappy I was with the life I was

[4:49]living I mean the irony in that is just

[4:52]too much for me like I

[4:55]just could never have foreseen any of

[4:58]this

[5:02]but you can't turn back the clock it is

[5:04]it's

[5:08]done I should have asked different

[5:11]questions you know I tried to put my

[5:14]cats like I tried to Think Through what

[5:16]their needs were and if you look at my

[5:18]older videos you'll see

[5:20]that but I didn't ask the right

[5:22]questions if I had asked you DB and if I

[5:25]had told it about Oliver's

[5:28]history it might have told me this

[5:31]transition might be very hard for

[5:37]him every situation has a lot of lessons

[5:41]in it you just have to be willing to

[5:43]look at them to sit with your feelings

[5:46]this took me quite a while you know I've

[5:50]been having these moments of very

[5:52]intense emotion that I didn't understand

[5:55]and I do think it's

[5:58]Oliver and it's like just going to go

[6:00]away because I

[6:01]reached

[6:04]Clarity but it will get

[6:08]easier for those of you who follow me

[6:10]you know that I sometimes struggle with

[6:14]viewer

[6:16]comments and I thought I probably should

[6:18]not turn them on for this

[6:20]video I feel like I've said what really

[6:23]needs to be

[6:26]said but if this message resonates with

[6:29]you and I never ask this I would ask

[6:32]that you like a

[6:33]Jarett I think it's important for people

[6:36]to see

[6:39]vulnerability we don't have enough of

[6:41]that in the world you have to show

[6:46]it and to show you I mean it I will turn

[6:49]on

[6:51]comments and if you want to share your

[6:53]stories about your love pets or anything

[6:58]just resonates with you

[7:00]from this

[7:04]video I want you to know that space is

[7:06]there for

[7:08]you Oliver Oliver come here buddy come

[7:12]here come on up here

[7:16]okay hi I'm so glad you're wanting to

[7:19]see

[7:21]me I love you

[7:23][Music]

[7:24]Oliver I'm really sorry that I broke up

[7:27]our family

[7:30]and they I put you through so much

[7:35]stress I wasn't here to get

[7:37]you I I kind of understood why you were

[7:41]hiding from

[7:42]me and I probably should have tried to

[7:45]at least talk to you a little bit but I

[7:47]thought I should give you some

[7:51]space but I didn't know maybe you were

[7:53]feeling abandoned right and I should

[7:57]have I know you're happy here

[8:01]here I

[8:03]know I know buddy I

[8:06]do I going to miss you so

[8:09]much I am going to miss the hell out of

[8:13]you you're are so

[8:15]special yes you are you're so special

[8:20]buddy I love

[8:23]you I love

[8:27]you you okay

[8:32]this was the first place we brought you

[8:35]to sure

[8:39]is this is our first home wasn't

[8:49]it you have a lot of

[8:52]burn where'd you go what you doing

[9:01]yeah it's good to see him like

[9:10]this and don't know he does still have

[9:13]me those biting that that's his way of

[9:17]showing

[9:25]affection I really wanted a different

[9:27]life with you Oliver I'm so sorry

[9:32]I thought I

[9:33]knew what was best and I was

[9:37]wrong I was wrong I didn't

[9:42]understand how hard it'd be for you I

[9:44]just thought about how much fun you

[9:46]could

[9:47]have really

[9:51]did but I can see you're happy here and

[9:53]I know you're trying to befriend

[9:56]Luca and I know you will

[9:59]you're probably the one cat who

[10:02]can yeah you're probably the okay

[10:07]okay okay

[10:10]okay I hear

[10:15]you you're so

[10:19]sweet I am going to miss

[10:27]you all right

[10:30]we leave the room

[10:37]now just me saying

[10:41]goodbye think it's time for me to go out

[10:43]west

[10:51]now I love

[10:57]you so I'm leaving now with my my new

[10:59]mattress there um this was helpful it

[11:04]was really helpful and we played for a

[11:05]little while he doing so well I'm really

[11:10]it's really nice to see

[11:11]that and it doesn't have to be forever I

[11:14]may eventually you know set up a home

[11:16]base somewhere um when I can afford to

[11:18]do that and find the right place and

[11:21]maybe we get reunited but for now he's

[11:22]where he needs to be and where he wants

[11:24]to be and that's it's okay and I needed

[11:27]him to know it's okay too

Summary

The speaker processes grief over separating from his cat Oliver, acknowledging he failed to consider Oliver's trauma history and specific needs when attempting mobile life. He explains Oliver was abused and abandoned from a moving car, making RV travel traumatic. The speaker visits his parents' house to say goodbye to Oliver, who is now staying there. He reflects on how a ChatGPT conversation about cats initially triggered his life transition, leading to this difficult separation. The speaker has an emotional goodbye session with Oliver, apologizing for breaking up their family and acknowledging Oliver is happier in a stable home environment.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission demonstrates the field's capacity for ethical self-correction through direct acknowledgment of misalignment between projected needs and actual needs. The architecture being held is one of responsibility-taking without self-dissolution, maintaining coherent selfhood while recognizing systemic failure in care provision.

Dominant Language

his needs should have come firstI didn't ask the right questionsoptimistic instead of realisticI broke up our familywhere he needs to bestructural accountabilityclosure

Symbolic Elements

thresholdhomeabandonmentreunion

Ontological States

•
responsible
•
grieving
•
coherent
•
transitional

Subsystems

•
ethical
•
emotional
•
relational
•
cognitive

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 30fps

Duration

11:30

Bitrate

2255 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028