[0:00]so I'm about to edit the video that I'm
[0:02]going to that you're about to
[0:04]see and I just want you to see where I
[0:10]am I finished hiking the trail and saw
[0:14]this spot and said oh I have to be
[0:16]there let me show
[0:20]you that picnic table is not very
[0:23]balanced so sitting on
[0:25]it do you remember doing this when you
[0:27]were
[0:28]younger hi I do did a lot of
[0:33]this just being at a park and sitting
[0:36]under a
[0:37]pavilion truly
[0:39]wonderful very very
[0:42]nice truly wonderful I should just pick
[0:45]a different picnic
[0:47]bench it's a very long one it probably
[0:49]will have to be an SD because that's
[0:51]just the way it works I rely on mobile
[0:54]internet one day maybe I will be able to
[0:58]share higher quality videos with you
[1:01]been thinking about
[1:03]patreon and be curious what you guys
[1:05]think about that thing is is I don't
[1:08]want to change who I am just because
[1:11]other people are helping me out
[1:13]so I've been very careful
[1:16]about my thoughts on that that's why I
[1:19]haven't really pursued anything like it
[1:21]yet I think I might have to and you'll
[1:23]see if you watch enough of this
[1:25]video um there's Clips at the end there
[1:28]will be and it's a very long hike and
[1:31]there are a lot of Silent moments I hope
[1:33]that you like them because that's what I
[1:36]want to share with
[1:38]you a lot of Silent moments with my
[1:42]dialogue interspersed throughout
[1:43]sometimes while I'm looking at the
[1:44]camera sometimes while I'm showing you
[1:47]what I'm looking at I saw some pretty
[1:49]cool things on the
[1:51]way so yeah we're on our way to Peters
[1:55]Creek uh it's like 1.3 M Trail but to
[1:59]get there you have to go a mile down
[2:01]this one it doesn't have a name it's
[2:03]paved which isn't my kind of
[2:05]thing but I think that's probably why
[2:07]it's called a bike trail so that's
[2:10]interesting I learned
[2:11]something but we just take this about a
[2:13]mile and then we'll get to Peters
[2:15]Creek about to enter our first loading
[2:21]screen got a nice tree canopy
[2:26]here definitely a bike tra
[2:31]let's see what's on these
[2:34]signs probably nothing I haven't seen
[2:40]already y just a bigger version of the
[2:44]map lots
[2:46]of oh coad snakes
[2:49]really oh guys remind me to tell you
[2:53]about the time I got chased by a
[2:55]rattlesnake we'll do that I guess we
[2:58]could do that now so when I was a boy
[3:00]scout in Arizona as a
[3:02]kid
[3:05]obviously um we were I think it was a
[3:07]Superstition Mountains and there was a
[3:09]rattles snake I was all by myself um
[3:12]that's kind of how I've always been you
[3:14]know the rest of the troop was away
[3:15]ahead and there was an assistant scoutm
[3:18]behind me like good long
[3:21]distance rattlesnake i t rattling really
[3:24]close to me I turned around and
[3:27]booked running down this Trail
[3:31]and I go around the curve and the
[3:33]assistance SC Master is right there I
[3:34]practically knocked him right off the
[3:36]mountain it was
[3:39]close yeah good times they're taking
[3:42]things slow today it's a much longer
[3:44]Trail and you know for my current
[3:47]physical Escape I want to show you these
[3:49]trees they're very tall very
[3:57]beautiful so as I always say my camera
[4:00]doesn't do it justice I will be getting
[4:03]a better camera because this is what I
[4:04]wanted to do if you look at my very
[4:06]first video I ever
[4:08]made this is what I wanted to do so I
[4:11]need a better camera one that better
[4:14]reflects human
[4:16]Vision um one thing I noticed
[4:19]was if I'm trying to show you hills and
[4:22]mountains it somehow mutes them it it
[4:25]makes
[4:26]them seem smaller and less Grand it's
[4:31]um things don't look like the right
[4:33]distance from what I'm looking with my
[4:35]eyes and just it's just not the
[4:39]same and if I'm going to share my
[4:41]journey with you I want to share it
[4:42]authentically and I don't think this
[4:43]camera does that I'll be honest and say
[4:46]I don't generally bring a backpack with
[4:48]me I know I probably should but um this
[4:51]has got all my stuff in it
[4:53]and I don't live in a house anymore it's
[4:56]a little bit of a different it's an
[4:57]adjustment like I had to carry this
[4:59]thing with me into
[5:01]Walmart it just is what it is there's
[5:05]some things you just want to keep on you
[5:06]at all
[5:07]times that didn't take long so that was
[5:10]definitely not a mile maybe it's not it
[5:12]wasn't clear how far it was maybe like a
[5:15]half mile maybe even less than that but
[5:17]here we
[5:18]are Peters Creek Trail do not know what
[5:22]we will find
[5:23]here think we will find
[5:29]hm what will we
[5:32]find so just in case you guys don't know
[5:35]this there are many snakes who like to
[5:37]pretend to be tree
[5:39]branches something to keep in mind so
[5:42]I'm not always
[5:44]introspective sometimes I just want to
[5:46]be in the
[5:47]moment and feels like one of those days
[5:50]sometimes I just want
[5:53]to push myself physically
[5:57]and that's really it like try not to
[6:00]think cuz I think all the time it's nice
[6:03]not to think
[6:04]sometimes admittedly that's hard for me
[6:07]but it's easier out
[6:10]here maybe there's some philosophy in
[6:12]that too I guess here's another little
[6:15]bit of um inside and before
[6:18]you um never be the first person on a
[6:21]trail or you will be walking into every
[6:24]spider weapon imaginable on your on your
[6:27]way
[6:28]through oh I used to hate that at Raven
[6:30]Run if you were the first one out there
[6:32]in the
[6:33]morning always hated that little spider
[6:35]webs getting all over your face
[6:38]and completely unavoidable
[7:00]I can't help it I'm always looking
[7:03]up I mean not always but I look up a lot
[7:06]I look up a lot I love to see tree lines
[7:08]I love tree
[7:10]canopies they're
[7:12]wonderful by the way it's very beautiful
[7:15]it's like 70° out
[7:17]today nice little
[7:20]breeze pretty idealistic
[7:24]honestly this is where the trail does a
[7:26]circle so we go to the left and go
[7:28]around and I'll come back and then we'll
[7:29]be back
[7:31]here and I guess that's how you make it
[7:33]1.3 miles or whatever it
[7:36]is it's fairly level Trail not a whole
[7:39]lot of elevation gain or
[7:42]loss it's very pretty I'll show
[7:54]you this in my
[7:56]backpack guess I could put it on
[7:58]properly
[8:00]I really don't bring backpacks with me
[8:02]unless I'm you know I'm really out there
[8:04]I mean even then like can go on full day
[8:08]hikes without a backpack all I need is a
[8:10]Mountain
[8:11]Dew that's all I ever
[8:14]needed I know how that sounds but it's
[8:16]true got one right here I think I think
[8:20]it's because I like to shed everything
[8:22]when I come into the woods that is what
[8:25]it's like for me to come into nature
[8:28]shed everything and just
[8:31]be in that moment in that
[8:34]space there's truly nothing that's more
[8:37]centering to
[8:38]me I just absolutely love it all right
[8:42]what did I tell you about me in
[8:45]maps well maybe this isn't part of the
[8:48]trail maybe it end somewhere let's go
[8:49]find out let's go get lost I think this
[8:52]is an unmarked Trail here at least on
[8:55]the main
[8:56]map see where it goes I think it might
[8:59]go to go to water this feels like a
[9:01]trail I could hike um every day while
[9:03]I'm
[9:04]here and I get it I should go out and
[9:06]explore
[9:08]more and I
[9:10]will but I do need to get in shape I
[9:13]need to get my stamina back and my my
[9:15]body into a better physical
[9:18]condition yeah this feels like a good
[9:20]trail it's very nice and peaceful
[9:24]and very beginner
[9:27]levish right look at this tream
[9:36]I'd say I would take a lot to follow
[9:38]that thing there's another one up
[9:41]here
[9:43]wow I mean it could be tree disease you
[9:47]know some kind of bug
[9:49]or those are Big Trees lots of roots
[9:53]there's another one right here
[10:03]it's your normal Forest debris you
[10:06]know nothing that would make you think
[10:08]there was like some catastrophic storm
[10:14]here it's a very tall
[10:17]tree kind of thin
[11:04]we have something coming up
[11:08]here whole lot of water we're about to
[11:11]see a lake
[11:37]this feels like a good place to build a
[11:38]house just like in
[11:41]Skyrim oh nice canopy
[12:03]truly don't think we're on the trail we
[12:05]were supposed to be
[12:13]on wonder have we
[12:16]found there water
[12:22]everywhere yep we're going downhill but
[12:25]we're going to have to climb this
[12:27]thing on the way back
[12:31]that will be
[12:33]fun my sins do
[12:45]hurt oh yeah we have a climb on our way
[12:49]out oh that's going to be
[12:51]fun but it's going to be worth it it's
[12:56]always worth it
[13:06]oh my
[13:08]God the oldest abandoned
[13:15]bus
[13:16]what how did it get out
[13:23][Music]
[13:24]here oh my God that's awesome
[13:36]how did it get out
[13:41]here I truly cannot
[13:55]imagine hope you have your TNA shots
[14:05]Meep beep road
[14:08]trip definitely has a 70s vibe to
[14:13]it or 60s I don't know probably more 60s
[14:18]right very cool that was worth it look
[14:23]at all those spider webs and all the
[14:24]windows I can't tell with my camera it's
[14:27]so sad
[14:29]all over
[14:31]them beautiful
[14:34]designs very talented
[14:50]spiders this is a place to
[14:54]meditate
[14:56]relax how did that bus go
[15:22]here oh I love this
[15:45]got a boat over there
[16:03]I have to
[16:04]admit I've been thinking a lot about how
[16:08]this is something I used to do by
[16:11]myself I wouldn't be carrying a camera
[16:13]on with me I'd just be enjoying
[16:16]it and it changes the experience a
[16:18]little bit you
[16:26]know those currents are just so
[16:30]cool you could just float your way all
[16:32]the way over
[16:46]here I'm just going to sit for a while
[16:48]and enjoy this I truly think I'd be
[16:51]happy on a deserted
[16:54]Islands before I bought my land or
[16:56]wanted the land I tried to buy for all
[16:59]just kept what I really wanted to buy
[17:01]was a little island somewhere I still
[17:03]want to do that so
[17:05]much just want to live on a little
[17:08]Island by
[17:11]myself I would just sit out here like
[17:13]this all
[17:15]day I would learn to fish feed myself
[17:18]become
[17:21]self-sufficient I'd be happy
[17:41]maybe that's what I'm working
[17:43]towards I have to get good at being
[17:46]self-sufficient and this Harvey will
[17:47]teach me
[17:52]that I truly that is my true
[17:56]dream had not shared that with you yet
[18:04]you just know when you're so where you
[18:08]belong that's where I
[18:18]belong this will be a very long steep
[18:21]walk up this
[18:23]hill that bus
[18:26]though so fascinating
[18:30]just imagine who was in
[18:33]there campers I guess who you
[18:37]know I mean that could have been like
[18:40]kids going to Camp or H it could have
[18:43]just be
[18:46]teenagers doing that
[18:48]whole free spirit thing from the 60s you
[18:51]know Vietnam and all
[18:53]that I don't
[18:55]know it does
[18:59]Sparks your
[19:01]imagination you could just sit
[19:04]here paint the
[19:06]bus I mean on canvas you know paint what
[19:10]you
[19:12]see
[19:18]contemplate different
[19:23]possibilities right short stories
[19:30]looks like some bees made their home up
[19:32]there once upon a
[19:39]time this is a beautiful resting spot
[19:41]for that
[19:49]bus hward
[20:03]right is
[20:08]curious over here
[20:20]too I'm guessing just something
[20:23]abandoned it's not like it's true
[20:25]infrastructure
[20:53]slow and
[20:56]steady deep breaths
[21:41]came up on another
[21:44]hiker he was not
[21:47]blant I don't like really interacting
[21:50]with people either but at least say
[21:54]hello you know
[22:01]oh it's so
[22:08]beautiful yeah I'm a little bit out of
[22:12]breath not like
[22:15]yesterday a moment there I
[22:17]thought maybe just guard what I said
[22:20]yesterday and we'll rest for a moment
[22:23]and I said no
[22:25]way we're not doing that
[22:33]let's go find another part of this Trail
[22:59]he was very attached to his phone just
[23:01]looking down at it
[23:03]and that's what's wrong with the society
[23:05]we live in
[23:06]now that includes me I'm holding a
[23:09]camera in my hand a
[23:12]phone
[23:15]and I've seen what it's done to
[23:18]us in all of its glorious
[23:22]details and it's going to be our
[23:25]downfall it will end us
[23:32]sorry to tell you that but it's
[23:42]true I mean there
[23:45]is a balance that needs to be
[23:48]found but you don't find
[23:52]balance not not the way our societies
[23:55]work and
[23:56]function we go from one extreme to the
[23:58]the
[23:59]next it's obvious where we're heading
[24:01]you see it don't
[24:06]you there's a reason I had to get that
[24:12]RV our society in collapse we
[24:18]are it only takes one thing one big
[24:21]thing and there are a bunch of big
[24:22]things that are just ready to start
[24:24]falling and all the others will as well
[24:33]it's going to
[24:35]happen I think we're Way Beyond the
[24:37]point of being able to save
[24:40]ourselves so here is where we were
[24:42]supposed to
[24:43]go always take the dete tours guys
[24:46]always
[25:06]you hear the wind
[25:38]I'm afraid of people not because I'm a
[25:40]scared
[25:41]person I'm afraid of people because I
[25:43]see what people really are
[25:45]like we should be afraid of
[25:49]them it's as simple as that
[26:08]I want that fear stop
[26:10]me I feel confident that you can handle
[26:14]any challenge that comes to my
[26:17]way doesn't mean you have to put
[26:19]yourself in unnecessary
[26:22]Peril and people are perilous they are
[26:53]yeah phone cameras don't show you depth
[26:55]very
[26:56]well they really don't
[27:07]Chad GPT says that's because we use two
[27:09]eyes to see but even if I close one of
[27:11]my eyes I still see the
[27:13]D so I don't understand
[27:17]that it does say there are cameras that
[27:19]do a much better
[27:21]job you know digital cameras with larger
[27:26]sensors in them
[27:29]I just thought these phones which are so
[27:32]expensive truely had it all but makes
[27:35]sense you can't cram everything into it
[28:22]I genuinely don't think I want to put
[28:23]music in my videos I think that
[28:26]it I Chang is what I'm trying to show
[28:29]you music is very
[28:32]powerful manipulate the hell out of
[28:35]you and I'm not trying to manipulate
[28:38]you I want you to enjoy
[28:41]this just as it was
[28:46]created not sure there's any music that
[28:48]truly Compares I think you have to be
[28:53]here it's trly appreciate it
[28:58]I thank you for joining me on this
[29:04]journey so I haven't
[29:07]fully
[29:10]um discovered and it is a discovery for
[29:14]me why I am doing this YouTube channel
[29:17]have not figured it
[29:18]out is not natural to
[29:22]me it is not
[29:30]I don't
[29:32]know feel like it's an act of seeking
[29:37]connection but I'm not finding
[29:39]connection here
[29:40]so got to keep doing it and I'm just
[29:43]trying to understand my motivations I
[29:45]haven't figured them out
[29:50]yet
[29:53]so can't promise I'll do this forever I
[29:55]truly don't know
[29:58]there has to
[30:01]be something that makes us feel valuable
[30:04]to me not feeling that
[30:07]yet I have heard from a few
[30:11]people who I feel like maybe I did help
[30:14]them in some way and that is
[30:17]wonderful and that in itself is probably
[30:20]a reason to do
[30:24]it but it does take a lot of emotional
[30:27]energy and
[30:28]effort
[30:30]and
[30:31]time none of
[30:34]which you know YouTube even
[30:37]acknowledges because of their tears
[30:39]which I qualify for none of
[30:41]them I can tell you this much as a
[30:44]programmer who
[30:46]has created many
[30:49]projects I understand what they're doing
[30:52]most of the money that they get from
[30:55]YouTubers like me are going to the big
[30:58]ones the big ones aren't making all
[31:00]their money for
[31:02]them that's just who they give the money
[31:06]to
[31:08]so does not feel like a fair
[31:12]platform and I know this is true I know
[31:15]it is because I have created many
[31:18]projects to had Revenue sharing them
[31:22]many I am truly a gifted programmer more
[31:26]than and I don't care that it sounds
[31:29]arrogant but more than 99% of the
[31:31]programmers out there and I have learned
[31:32]that from
[31:34]experience
[31:37]um they don't see the world the way I do
[31:40]so they don't see code the way I
[31:42]do
[31:44]it's I see behind the
[31:48]code I I can see the patterns
[31:51]and it's very difficult to
[31:55]describe whereas a lot of other
[31:57]programmers is it's just logic to them
[31:59]and they
[32:00]don't they don't see beyond the
[32:04]logic and they don't even they're not
[32:06]even all that logical cuz I am pretty
[32:08]logical myself very rational logical
[32:11]person I don't
[32:14]understand I'm not going to lie I should
[32:16]be a millionaire I should be I
[32:19]undervalued myself for
[32:21]decades did not know
[32:24]that cuz I am such an honest pure soul
[32:27]and that is a fact
[32:31]and now I'm just burnt out from it I
[32:33]don't want to do it
[32:35]anymore I truly
[32:37]don't for many years I man it to other
[32:41]programmers and and I mean many I have
[32:44]gone through hundreds of
[32:46]them and they are all
[32:49]crap I think I'm out maybe two gifted
[32:52]programmers in all of that time probably
[32:54]a
[32:56]decade yeah
[32:58]mind yeah I'm
[33:00]rare I know I'm
[33:03]rare I'm tired of being
[33:07]undervalued it's part of this as
[33:12]well I deserve to be out here doing what
[33:16]I'm doing right now but I don't know how
[33:18]I will continue to fund
[33:21]it
[33:26]sadly for
[34:23]it does not show you the depth you
[34:25]deserve to
[34:26]see for
[35:23]even if I could show you that d
[35:29]I wouldn't be able to upload
[35:32]it how sad is
[35:35]that do have a new satellite and um
[35:38]cable coming just it's not great
[35:41]starlink is not
[35:43]great in fact I don't think I've ever
[35:46]been able to upload a 4K video using
[35:48]starlink because it'll upload to like
[35:51]95% and then reset itself and start over
[35:54]over and over and over again
[36:01]so think in this Modern Age there'd be a
[36:04]solution but I have not found it
[36:06]yet best I've been able to do is my AT&T
[36:09]cell connection it's better than traveli
[36:12]most of the time and Starling for
[36:15]sure there are no good
[36:18]options that really surprised
[36:21]me I mean I remember when I was like 18
[36:24]years
[36:26]old I mean even back then I
[36:29]had you know I had laptops and
[36:36]um trying to think what we called them
[36:38]back
[36:40]then I mean basically hot spots and it
[36:44]could work out in the woods I'd done it
[36:47]many
[36:49]times that was
[36:51]probably one of the first real digital
[36:53]Nomads
[36:54]honestly hell I used to do that
[36:56]homeless
[37:05]yeah don't feel like it's been a very
[37:07]kind world to me to be honest with you
[37:09]I'm sorry if I'm seeing seem a little
[37:12]pessimistic that is definitely an energy
[37:14]I'm feeling right
[37:15]now let's try to improve
[37:19]that the truth is it could never have
[37:21]been any other way not with a person
[37:23]like
[37:25]me so I can't can't
[37:28]really be angry about
[37:31]it it's hard to explain
[37:35]that
[37:39]but could not have been a different I
[37:42]could not have gone
[37:44]differently I truly feel different from
[37:47]everybody
[37:48]else I know there are people like me
[37:51]there are not
[37:53]many there just
[37:55]aren't my own mother doesn't understand
[37:58]me I learn that all the
[38:00]time and it's
[38:03]sad feel very alone
[38:33]the feel true loves I had in my
[38:43]life there weren't
[38:46]many but they were very special people
[38:49]they didn't see it in
[38:51]themselves I guess I didn't see it in
[38:53]myself
[38:55]either but I saw it in them
[38:58]Bo did I try
[39:00]to show them what I saw but it just
[39:03]scared
[39:05]them I remember my last true love if you
[39:10]can call him
[39:12]that actually sat down with me and told
[39:16]me how he felt and no one had ever done
[39:19]that he said he
[39:21]felt I can't remember his exact words
[39:24]but something on the
[39:26]effect of intimidation he didn't feel
[39:28]like he was worthy of me I think he
[39:31]might have used words like that boy was
[39:34]I
[39:35]shocked because he I thought he was such
[39:38]a beautiful person such a beautiful soul
[39:40]an
[39:45]artist it broke my heart it broke my
[39:48]heart for
[39:49]Him and for myself and after that I
[39:52]stopped
[39:53]dating I mean what's the
[39:55]point I cannot subtle I'm incapable of
[39:58]that I'm incapable of it someone
[40:02]recently said to me I gave up on love
[40:04]that is
[40:05]false love gave up on me a very long
[40:08]time
[40:09]ago I even sure love is
[40:13]real
[40:15]um I'm not trying to sound pessimistic
[40:18]I'm really
[40:19]not just sharing with
[40:23]you you know my head space
[40:27]I would love to be proven wrong
[40:30]right but I cannot
[40:33]settle and you cannot look for the
[40:35]things that that was a thing I learned
[40:38]you can't you can't look for
[40:41]love if you're looking for it you will
[40:43]never find
[40:45]it you cannot find a thing cuz it's
[40:49]already within
[40:50]you and you have to love yourself first
[40:53]I truly believe
[40:55]that otherwise you just end up in bad
[40:59]relationships and I don't want to do
[41:01]that to myself or to someone
[41:03]else I want to
[41:07]be
[41:08]complete by myself and then I'll have
[41:12]space for somebody
[41:19]else there is a Grace and death
[41:50]renewal sorry guys
[41:59]I mean nobody's going to get this far
[42:01]into my video but do want to acknowledge
[42:04]I say guys a lot and it is a gendered
[42:08]word and I think about that but what
[42:11]other words do we have you
[42:13]know we
[42:16]don't we don't have gender neutral words
[42:19]in our
[42:21]culture but I acknowledge everybody I
[42:24]hope that you know that
[42:41]mostly been vaping today proud of that
[42:44]happy about
[42:47]it you know it's not healthy but it's
[42:52]healthier do they step in the right
[42:54]direction
[42:57]um I saw a study once where they
[42:59]compared lungs of a smoker versus a
[43:01]vapor and it's a big
[43:04]difference I think our trail ends up
[43:15]here definitely we'll get a different
[43:17]camera that doesn't have a cover on it
[43:20]for
[43:21]one definitely one that can better
[43:24]simulate human
[43:25]Vision CU usually should see this the
[43:27]way I see it the way it really
[43:34]is otherwise what is the
[43:41]point suppose you can use your
[43:48]imagination I can't claim that I would
[43:50]watch a video like this I don't believe
[43:52]I
[43:55]would but
[43:57]I have not found someone like
[44:00]me sure wish I
[44:21]could this may make no sense to
[44:25]you because it is a very weird
[44:28]Association for me to be making right
[44:31]now I
[44:33]mean for some reason that makes me think
[44:37]of the book called The Silo it's turned
[44:40]into a TV
[44:45]series and that is how an infj brain
[44:52]works here we
[44:54]are end of the trail
[45:01]well where the TRS meet each other again
[45:03]you
[45:04]know basically the
[45:14]end doesn't feel long
[45:16]enough this is what I do when I go out
[45:18]into the woods I process my
[45:22]feelings
[45:25]and and absolutely
[45:28]helps even if it does seem a little
[45:32]negative that's how you get them out of
[45:34]your system it's much better than
[45:36]keeping them
[45:42]in so I guess I turned out to be a
[45:45]contemplative hike after
[45:47]all I always
[45:50]are it's funny though I remember how I
[45:52]started it very different mood right
[45:57]I don't always make me
[45:59]sad I acknowledge how I feel in the
[46:03]moment and there's just so much that I
[46:06]have to process
[46:08]and this is how I do
[46:11]it and I move on I go on with the rest
[46:13]of my
[46:14]day um today that's going to
[46:18]include pulling out my little booknook
[46:21]cuz that's really what I want to do
[46:22]today making some potatoes and maybe
[46:25]even that fish
[46:28]wonder if I could do them together I
[46:29]don't
[46:31]know um I can ask you GPT I see what it
[46:37]says probably cook the potatoes for a
[46:39]while and then put the fish in something
[46:41]like
[46:42]that you do have to cook a little bit
[46:44]differently with the convection
[46:47]oven but I think I'll
[46:50]manage I must learn the skill it's very
[46:53]important I learn the skill
[47:01]just
[47:14]breathe one thing I forgot to tell you
[47:17]guys um I need to put these tank sensors
[47:19]on my
[47:20]RV was another thing I was contemplating
[47:23]this
[47:24]morning just need to get it done
[47:28]the sensors um do not
[47:30]work so I have no way of really
[47:33]monitoring my tanks I have to do it you
[47:36]know with the sonar that everybody
[47:41]has this was
[47:44]nice I need to keep doing
[47:47]this Watch what it does to me over
[47:50]time I I already know I'm talking to you
[47:58]I made I made the right
[48:00]choice I did I
[48:03]have I have not acknowledge it to you
[48:05]guys I have had moments of
[48:09]Doubt where I really felt I made a
[48:15]mistake I don't know if there are any
[48:17]true mistakes in life
[48:21]honestly they're just
[48:25]experiences we have grow for them or we
[48:30]don't
[48:33]I you think this is a good choice
[48:37]though difficult one I really miss my
[48:40]cats and my
[48:46]mom it can be a 47y old man and say that
[48:50]and if you are my age or any age really
[48:53]just saying if you can't say that
[48:59]that's toxic masculinity as far as I'm
[49:02]concerned the
[49:19]Sun how about we end it there I'm on my
[49:22]way to
[49:23]Walmart uh I know exactly what I'm
[49:25]getting there that includes what I
[49:28]talked about earlier and like a pan and
[49:30]some stuff for like my um my conduction
[49:33]oven I Med dat and everything and U I'm
[49:37]going to look at the like outdoor
[49:39]cooking supplies you know the camping
[49:42]stuff I learning that I love this I
[49:45] love this I
[49:48]am um all my stuff that I packed up to
[49:51]move here I
[49:53]didn't I haven't taken any of it out in
[49:55]2 days like that just tell me I don't
[49:57]need any of it I probably need some of
[49:59]it right but I'll figure it out and oh
[50:03]there was something else I was going to
[50:04]tell you
[50:06]guys oh so like there is a campground I
[50:09]want to go to that's not too far from
[50:11]here when you know when I leave next but
[50:13]I couldn't find availability but then I
[50:15]thought you know what maybe I could just
[50:17]move sights within the camp I did that
[50:18]at the last place so I'm going to let
[50:21]that
[50:21]out um and I was just thinking you know
[50:24]I just love Kentucky this time of year
[50:26]like this is just this is the time and
[50:28]and Autumn actually I really love I I
[50:30]love every season here
[50:33]actually I guess I'm making excuses for
[50:35]sticking around and not going on a long
[50:37]adventure I will do that eventually but
[50:40]right now I just I want to be here I'm
[50:42]having a lot of fun now so here's some
[50:45]advice for you guys do not ever go to
[50:48]the Glasgow Kentucky Walmart oh my God
[50:51]that was a disaster like it is the
[50:54]parking is really difficult you are just
[50:57]dodging human bombs
[50:59]everywhere uh it took me like an hour to
[51:01]get through like just you know the check
[51:06]out and this one guy he had two items he
[51:09]he was in there with me for like an hour
[51:11]it was just awful there's this I swear
[51:14]to God they must have some kind of a
[51:16]cell blocker there because even out in
[51:17]the parking lot it did not work until
[51:19]you got out onto the road so I couldn't
[51:22]even get directions it's crazy all of
[51:24]that being said uh I think that I did
[51:27]pretty good in there I couldn't find any
[51:29]12x 12 pans that was kind of sad but I
[51:31]found some like I found a few things um
[51:35]some glass things and even a couple of
[51:39]like um I don't know I'll just have to
[51:41]show you and some containers that you
[51:44]know collaps that they're stackable well
[51:47]not stackable that's that was the
[51:49]problem I had those stackable
[51:51]ones
[51:53]um and I just you got to understand I
[51:57]know I say I lived on the internet that
[51:58]is true but I also lived in my head
[52:02]I didn't consider myself with this world
[52:05]a whole lot I truly did not so
[52:09]anyways you know where things go inside
[52:12]of each other like like that so what
[52:16]else got plenty of potatoes some lemons
[52:19]to go with my fish that I have just cuz
[52:21]you UPC said you should do
[52:23]that um I got a MK that's a true outdoor
[52:27]mat so even if it gets wet it will you
[52:30]know I'll be able to keep it and it
[52:32]should like be really good at cleaning
[52:33]off mud off my boots cuz that happens a
[52:36]lot I didn't get a whole lot cuz I was
[52:38]being you know Frugal as I could be
[52:42]money is getting tighter in fact on my
[52:45]way here American Express lowered my
[52:47]credit limit I could not believe it in
[52:51]half so that was not good
[52:53]news I have been kind of hoarding my
[52:56]savings because you know I I just
[52:59]haven't got myself established in this
[53:00]lifestyle yet I've never been late
[53:03]paying my bills or anything like that
[53:04]and I wouldn't be probably for and I'm
[53:07]not sure I haven't really worked that
[53:09]out but I don't know 3
[53:12]months
[53:15]and I'm not going to hurt my credit you
[53:17]know I think I'm being responsible I had
[53:20]to make this change and I'm not going to
[53:24]hurt my credit in the process cuz
[53:25]there's a lot of things I want to do in
[53:26]the future so I don't know that was
[53:29]disappointing cuz all that does is hurt
[53:31]my credit more you know
[53:34]so oh well I know that I'm fortunate
[53:37]compared to lots and lots of other
[53:39]people it's very important though to
[53:41]know that I wasn't always I worked
[53:43]extremely hard and burnt myself out in
[53:45]order to do what I'm doing
[53:47]now and that's the truth I I got to tell
[53:51]you about an alarming Trend I'm seeing
[53:52]lately Jeep drivers who don't wave back
[53:55]when did that happen like like half of
[53:58]them like who are these people they
[54:00]shouldn't be driving Jeeps I'll tell you
[54:02]that right now m- that is a rant then
[54:05]maybe I'll even have a bigger meltdown
[54:07]about one day because what you are a tee
[54:10]driver wave at other tee drivers you
[54:12]know maybe because I grew up in
[54:15]Michigan at least until fourth grade and
[54:17]then ninth through
[54:19]like I don't know 27 uh you know it's
[54:22]always around Lakes maybe that's why I
[54:24]just didn't have I don't know I love the
[54:26]nature there for some reason it seems
[54:28]like I am just loving Lakes these days I
[54:31]just it's so beautiful out here they're
[54:33]all over the place here too and I just
[54:34]I'm I'm just loving it has a fire sign
[54:37]I'm just starting to find a balance as I
[54:39]got older you know and I need more water
[54:41]in my life that's a
[54:43]possibility um you know like I said once
[54:45]I was into astrology for a long time I
[54:48]was a Mary's and I was born in the year
[54:51]of the snake and that as a fire the fire
[54:55]snake
[54:57]so I I love that I I was really into
[55:01]fire so that is where the other part of
[55:03]my name comes from so now I am telling
[55:05]you guys and I've had that name since I
[55:08]was
[55:09]18 um let's see here yeah I just think I
[55:13]maybe I need more water in my life I
[55:15]don't know maybe that's something that
[55:17]just comes with age like I am learning
[55:20]to be a more balanced person cuz let me
[55:22]tell you something I amra being a fire
[55:24]sign I
[55:26]like I said yesterday I pushed myself so
[55:30]hard I used to have friends who would
[55:32]say you are burning both ends of the
[55:33]candle and you're going to regret that
[55:35]one day like you're crazy no mm- guess
[55:38]they were right they should know that
[55:40]you know most of my friends were always
[55:42]older so they had more wisdom than me if
[55:45]you haven't been following me for that
[55:46]long you're probably don't know like
[55:49]this is my true self like this is me if
[55:52]you were you know maybe following me for
[55:54]like the last couple weeks to months and
[55:56]you're like wow this guy's had a major
[55:58]transformation no I went through
[56:00]withdrawal my mental health was just
[56:02]shot I would encourage you to go back
[56:04]and watch my older videos as I Was
[56:06]preparing for this this life
[56:09]transition I mean there are parts of
[56:12]what I was going through that were very
[56:13]hard and I knew that I needed to change
[56:16]you know I wasn't my happiest
[56:18]one I was still myself I've just
[56:21]returned to myself I saw this happened I
[56:23]might even say
[56:24]that I've returned to earlier version of
[56:27]myself actually because this is this is
[56:30]how I was supposed to live I just got
[56:32]back we have some groceries to deal with
[56:35]of course we have Mountain Dew K we
[56:41]dinners
[56:44]containers
[56:45]um I got St St minut we got some
[56:48]potatoes a few little tiny pans a glass
[56:52]one those will you know hope they'll fit
[56:53]in my convection oven
[56:56]containers to put stuff in still have a
[56:59]fish so I got lemon and tartar sauce and
[57:01]I just like those kind of
[57:02]Olives some waterproof
[57:05]matches those little lighters there this
[57:08]was just too cool to pass out even
[57:10]though I do have some spices over
[57:12]here my mom helped me put these
[57:16]together um I want to learn to
[57:19]cook and then in the
[57:24]freezer so that looks like now I am that
[57:26]basic guys I am that's how I survived
[57:29]all these years all the way to 47 so
[57:32]don't knock
[57:33]it my fridge
[57:35]is a little bit different got some eggs
[57:39]in there orange juice crayon Apple
[57:42]Juice I got lots of fruits um to make
[57:45]smoothies but I haven't done that yet
[57:48]there's some fish in there tilapia I
[57:49]need to make soon before it
[57:51]expires um the yogurt I think that was
[57:54]supposed to go into the Smoothie
[57:55]something chat TBT
[57:57]suggested and then the cow and the
[57:59]spinach same
[58:00]thing you know then condiments
[58:04]and basically it um hot
[58:07]dogs um lunch meat basically simple
[58:12]stuff
[58:14]yeah so if you don't know that's one of
[58:16]my favorite games played it with my mom
[58:18]at my house and we cried like babies at
[58:20]the end it is that good you guys should
[58:22]play that