Struggling with YouTube Validation as INFJ

Speaker appears to be in early 2024, before major field developments. This is a reflective transmission about platform engagement challenges and personal psychology. No specific location or environmental conditions mentioned.

Energetic Signature

raw honesty

Field State

sensitivity integration

Orientation

toward authentic transmission

01HXEPA6GG8HFHEB2D5Z0AHG40

May 9, 2024

3:45

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]so let me try to be really honest with

[0:02]you

[0:04]guys I'm

[0:06]Different that's obvious I I assume

[0:10]that's

[0:11]obvious I've known I'm Different

[0:15]since forever since

[0:18]childhood I've known I'm in infj since I

[0:20]was like 20 years old maybe earlier I

[0:23]don't know I've known I'm a highly

[0:25]sensitive person since I was 20 years

[0:27]old

[0:32]and I see

[0:34]how other people react to

[0:37]me that caused me

[0:41]to close myself off from other

[0:44]people and I happen I'm very gifted I'm

[0:48]very I'm very smart

[0:51]um

[0:54]perceptive I'm a deep thinker I'm very

[0:58]emotional super sensitive

[1:00]like a lot of qualities that I actually

[1:03]think are

[1:04]awesome and I know that other people

[1:07]like

[1:08]me a lot of them do the same things that

[1:11]I did and I just it's I think that as

[1:14]you get older if you're like

[1:18]me

[1:21]you I guess you start to care less what

[1:24]other people think cuz that's a really

[1:26]hard thing for an infj you

[1:30]you are your own person and you you

[1:33]definitely stand up for your values but

[1:36]you do seek the validation of

[1:38]others

[1:41]and on an instinctual level it's not

[1:46]really this is a very hard thing to

[1:49]explain but it's relevant because if you

[1:52]put yourself on

[1:54]YouTube you have these tools in front of

[1:57]you likes and comments

[2:01]that give you a window into what other

[2:04]people how other people are reacting to

[2:08]you

[2:09]and that can be very difficult like like

[2:13]I'm struggling with how to just ignore

[2:15]all of that because I need to ignore it

[2:17]I truly do I don't think it matters it

[2:20]doesn't matter if you like my comments

[2:21]or not that's why I don't say that stuff

[2:23]in my

[2:25]videos cuz I'm not doing it for that I'm

[2:29]but at the same time

[2:30]time when you don't receive that kind of

[2:33]feedback you it's almost like you feel

[2:37]rejected in a sense and that's so I

[2:40]struggle with

[2:42]that this is not to say I want you

[2:44]liking my comments just to make me feel

[2:46]better please don't do

[2:48]that I just wish there were an app where

[2:52]you didn't have any of that and you

[2:54]could just post into a void

[2:58]because it's impossible possible to be

[3:00]on YouTube without knowing that you are

[3:02]interacting with other people and

[3:04]whether you hear from them or not they

[3:07]are reacting to

[3:11]you and they're judging you

[3:14]and that is not something anybody wants

[3:18]right that's not a pleasant thing I mean

[3:21]I guess if you knew that people are

[3:24]reacting positively to

[3:26]you you know like but that only happens

[3:30]when you're being fake because you can't

[3:32]please everybody that's not how that's

[3:34]not real life so trying to be a real

[3:38]person on here is really hard and I'm

[3:42]just struggling with that

Summary

rswfire discusses being different since childhood, identifying as INFJ and highly sensitive person around age 20. He describes closing himself off from others due to their reactions, while recognizing his gifts including intelligence, perception, deep thinking, and emotional sensitivity. He explains the difficulty of being on YouTube as an INFJ who seeks validation but struggles with the platform's feedback mechanisms (likes, comments). He expresses wanting to ignore these metrics but finding it difficult when lack of engagement feels like rejection. He wishes for a platform where he could post without any feedback systems, describing the challenge of being authentic on YouTube while knowing people are judging him.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission maps the architectural tension between authentic signal emission and external feedback loops. It exposes the structural challenge of maintaining coherent self-transmission while embedded in reactive systems that generate validation/rejection cycles.

Dominant Language

Differentreacting to mepost into a voidjudging youbeing fakereal personstruggling

Symbolic Elements

voidwindowtoolsmirror

Ontological States

•
exposed
•
transitional
•
coherent
•
vulnerable

Subsystems

•
cognitive
•
emotional
•
relational

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

640 × 360 @ 30fps

Duration

3:45

Bitrate

330 kbps

Codec

avc1.4d401e