[0:01]that man has been out there fishing
[0:03]every single day wonder if he's caught
[0:07]anything haven't really been around much
[0:09]to notice every day though in that
[0:12]little
[0:13]boat what a cool life for
[0:18]real good morning everyone so it's the
[0:21]Wednesday it's Wednesday day
[0:24]21 and move campus
[0:26]tomorrow I slept through the night
[0:29]finally
[0:31]I feel pretty good about that I just
[0:33]woke up guys I need
[0:35]coffee I'm just hoping that you know
[0:39]that's a good sign and it stays that way
[0:40]and it doesn't get worse right
[0:43]so um I don't think it will I asked CH
[0:45]DBT it kept telling me all these things
[0:49]like you know kind of scared me to be
[0:52]honest with you which is it's not
[0:54]supposed to do that and then um I'm like
[0:57]look I just want to know it's not going
[0:59]to get worse than this it's like it's
[1:01]not if if you at this point if this is
[1:03]how you're feeling it's probably how you
[1:05]feel it you might just have some like
[1:08]long-term like Post Acute with thrw
[1:11]symptoms as
[1:12]said we'll
[1:15]see and it's all about taking care of
[1:17]yourself which you know I'm not so good
[1:18]at that but you know I'm I'm trying I'm
[1:22]trying to change my life
[1:24]so
[1:26]yeah I definitely need to drain my tanks
[1:29]I am ashamed to say this but this smells
[1:30]in
[1:31]here um I thought about it so we haven't
[1:37]talked about this yet but I haven't been
[1:38]pooping in my in my tanks I just I don't
[1:42]like the idea of it
[1:43]so I know everybody's different about it
[1:46]and I was always planning to talk about
[1:47]it so I guess that's
[1:49]today I've just been pooping into these
[1:51]green bags and then you know just
[1:53]dumping them like Ian it's no different
[1:55]than what you would do with your dog
[1:57]right
[1:58]so um
[2:00]yeah I probably should
[2:02]use you know my black tank but I just
[2:06]feel like I need to be more experienced
[2:08]before I do that I mean I've never like
[2:10]truly emptied my tanks yet like not even
[2:13]once yet really so um we're doing that
[2:16]today we're doing that this
[2:18]morning going to drive down
[2:21]there what's going on over here what
[2:23]these guys have look like little kayak
[2:26]thingies
[2:33]I would not mind a life like that a
[2:36]little
[2:37]about life on water like I never really
[2:40]was into lakes or anything like that
[2:46]so I wouldn't even want like I couldn't
[2:49]even imagine swimming in that water like
[2:52]no way no
[2:55]away I haven't seen anyone else do it
[2:57]either though so maybe that's a clue
[3:01]I mean I did it when I was a kid of
[3:02]course you didn't know any better then I
[3:05]know what organisms are now well I am
[3:08]going to have to there's a bunch of
[3:10]things I have to do one I have to go
[3:12]shower over in the shower house
[3:14]right um I was thinking that clean that
[3:18]clears out the space in my shower as
[3:20]storage so I love
[3:23]that um that will be helpful and help me
[3:26]keep my tanks you know well you know
[3:30]waste any water that
[3:32]way
[3:33]um I have to go to the store cuz I need
[3:37]Pop I know I shouldn't drink Mountain
[3:40]Dew but that's what I've drank forever
[3:45]and like you'll have withdraw from that
[3:48]too so like I'm not you know I'm dealing
[3:50]with a lot all right
[3:52]so if I were to stop drinking it I would
[3:55]get terrible headaches from just
[3:58]caffeine of thrw but
[4:00]I think if I can find some caffeine
[4:02]pills or tablets or something maybe I
[4:04]could figure out a plan for that but to
[4:07]do it I need to figure out
[4:10]something else to drink that I like
[4:12]drinking cuz I don't like water I just
[4:15]don't like
[4:16]water
[4:18]um I've tried I just don't like can't
[4:22]make myself drink water
[4:24]so something lemonade I don't know apple
[4:28]juice something something
[4:31]something T you know maybe I could get
[4:34]behind te but I you know I don't know
[4:38]maybe yeah I mean you're looking at a
[4:41]man who embraced modern civilizations
[4:45]worst things
[4:48]and paid the consequences for them and
[4:52]still doing it oh my God but it's trying
[4:55]so hard to change right so
[5:00]I'll get there I'll get there I bet you
[5:02]by my next birthday um I'll just be a
[5:05]whole different
[5:07]person I think what I'll do is I
[5:10]will drive up to where the tanks are
[5:13]just check them out get a feel for the
[5:14]you know what it's like cuz I'm trying
[5:16]to it's like they're right up at the
[5:19]entrance I need to make sure that you
[5:21]can just turn around and come back here
[5:23]like cuz I don't know how you would do
[5:25]that
[5:26]like if you seen the roads here like I'm
[5:29]just not sure how you would how you
[5:31]would do that but it must be
[5:34]possible so I'll just go to the store
[5:36]and check them out on my
[5:38]way yeah that's a
[5:41]plan I didn't eat yesterday that was not
[5:44]on purpose or anything it just sort of
[5:47]happened
[5:49]um I mean now i' had limited choices I
[5:52]could have stopped at McDonald or
[5:54]something that's not I don't generally
[5:55]eat fast food that's not something that
[5:57]I
[5:58]do um
[6:01]I was so tired by the time I got back
[6:03]here I went right to sleep I slept right
[6:04]through the night the whole
[6:07]night starting to feel a little bit now
[6:12]where I don't know I don't want to
[6:15]assign any type
[6:16]of judgment what I just want to wait and
[6:21]see like I'm hoping for the best right I
[6:24]just I don't I don't want to jinx it I
[6:27]guess that's what I'm saying so I know I
[6:30]don't really talk about it much but I
[6:32]guess I'm feeling a little bit like
[6:35]self-conscious about the fact I don't
[6:36]have teeth especially because my channel
[6:38]keeps growing it's
[6:40]like I'm not trying
[6:43]to like if you don't have teeth that's a
[6:47]big deal you can't hide that
[6:50]so and I'm like man maybe I should just
[6:53]finish up with a dentist it's $10,000
[6:55]though like I just oh my God
[7:00]that's how I'm feeling right now though
[7:02]it is I'm thinking about sticking around
[7:05]Kentucky anyways
[7:07]so I might I might anyway I'm going to
[7:11]get my day started and let you know how
[7:13]it goes later hope you guys have a good
[7:15]morning I always love this tree in my
[7:17]front yard just a beautiful
[7:27]tree this place is truly empty now and I
[7:30]can feel it in my
[7:34]soul I could never make this place a
[7:37]home I just
[7:39]couldn't I didn't feel like
[7:43]I didn't feel like on to me I don't know
[7:46]why just
[7:48]didn't it's a really nice
[7:56]place there were a lot of things I
[7:58]didn't like about living here lot of
[8:01]road
[8:02]noise dogs barking at me every time I
[8:04]went outside like constantly like you
[8:07]could not be out there and be at peace
[8:10]those dogs would not leave you alone no
[8:13]matter what you did and I dried
[8:14]everything couldn't given them bacon
[8:17]which only made it
[8:20]worse this place is so empty at Echo wow
[8:29]half years
[8:33]here this house is different than other
[8:35]houses I've lived
[8:41]in I mean this is the house that I
[8:43]should have been happy
[8:45]in and I
[8:48]wasn't my rent kept going up every
[8:51]year did not like the management
[8:57]company that was always an issue it was
[9:00]like you just felt like you were under
[9:03]the thumb of these people and there was
[9:04]nothing you could do about
[9:11]it it's still sad
[9:14]though this is my
[9:19]bedroom maybe I should have made
[9:21]different choices I don't
[9:23]know my mom's
[9:25]room I always had a place for her
[9:29]just in case you needed
[9:31]it I don't
[9:35]anymore I was so sad
[9:37]inside that I just had to put myself
[9:40]first this
[9:42]done I I really hope that I made the
[9:45]right
[9:49]choice this is this is tough this was
[9:53]the cat's
[9:55]room if it had something to do with the
[9:57]cats it was in here
[10:03]a lot of time spent in the living
[10:07]room a lot of it good A lot of it
[10:11]boring television reading
[10:16]Cats my mom a lot of time with my mom in
[10:20]this
[10:23]room I love you
[10:25]Mom I love I love you so much
[10:32]I'm going to miss
[10:35]you a
[10:38]lot big kitchen never learned to cook in
[10:43]it wish I
[10:46]had going to learn
[10:49]now play Spot the Mountain Dew bottle in
[10:53]all my
[10:56]videos my office was awesome
[10:59]I loved
[11:01]it I did not spend a whole lot of time
[11:03]in here
[11:05]though I did mostly spent it in the
[11:08]living room using my
[11:11]laptop I just
[11:14]didn't my cats made it pretty hard to be
[11:17]honest I don't know if you can
[11:20]understand these cats are not like
[11:22]normal cats they need constant attention
[11:31]they everything you you do everything
[11:33]with
[11:37]them wow I feel real sad right
[11:41]now it's a lot of emotion to be
[11:44]processed in
[11:46]here I knew I needed to come
[11:53]here
[11:57]wow you can't start a new life without
[12:00]giving up an old
[12:04]one it's definitely what this feels like