Processing Withdrawal and Reassessing Life Transition

Speaker is driving through Tennessee on a long journey, experiencing ongoing medication withdrawal symptoms on the third night. He has recently left his house and is reassessing his transition to mobile living.

Energetic Signature

raw processing

Field State

velocity adjustment

Orientation

toward sustainable pacing

01HWRVBTW83JG9ECM4YFVW58TQ

May 1, 2024

5:29

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:01]this is such a long drive 6

[0:04]hours I got like an hour to

[0:08]go working on this I really need to get

[0:10]my GoPro in here that was the whole

[0:12]point of setting that thing up and then

[0:14]I don't even ever use

[0:16]it so yes guys I am being hard on

[0:20]myself but not on purpose I'm just you

[0:23]know I'm an emotional person I'm very

[0:26]sensitive and I don't

[0:30]I don't censor my emotions and I'm going

[0:32]to share them with you openly and

[0:34]honestly that's who I am so I hope that

[0:36]you w resetting and just get used to it

[0:39]doesn't mean I need comforting or

[0:43]anything like that I'm just going to be

[0:45]the real me and this is the real me

[0:49]I I'm just processing what I'm feeling

[0:52]you know in the moment that's just how I

[0:55]am um it was really hard being in that

[0:59]house it was empty that was my life in

[1:02]there it was really hard seeing my mom

[1:04]she spent she spent 2 to 3 days a week

[1:07]at my house she she slept there she had

[1:09]her own bedroom you

[1:13]know I was so focused on

[1:17]what I wanted to do that I didn't even

[1:20]stop for a second to think about what I

[1:21]was giving up and that hit me

[1:23]today so I hope that doesn't happen to

[1:26]you guys take this as a lesson if you

[1:29]want to live this kind of life look at

[1:31]your life now

[1:34]and just be sure there aren't some

[1:37]things you're giving up that you you

[1:39]know just be prepared for that I

[1:41]guess I have been contemplating on my

[1:44]drive what am I going to do and I kind

[1:47]of come up with some thoughts on this

[1:50]number one I decided I'm going to go and

[1:53]this is shocking to me but I'm going to

[1:55]sign up on betterhelp.com because I just

[1:57]I need to talk to somebody

[2:00]uh number two I am talking to my doctor

[2:03]he is telling me there was a big

[2:05]misunderstanding I

[2:07][Music]

[2:08]guess I mean if if that's what you could

[2:11]call this

[2:14]um he he he he's a very good man like I

[2:19]will probably keep seeing him and maybe

[2:20]he can help me through the withdrawal

[2:22]process cuz I am not getting back on

[2:24]those things ever like anything that

[2:26]does this to your body is evil this is

[2:29]just unreal real how bad it is uh number

[2:32]three I think I'm going to stick around

[2:34]Kentucky for a while I'm not there now

[2:35]I'm in Tennessee but you know when I

[2:37]move the next place I move to is in

[2:39]Kentucky I I don't have this part

[2:40]planned now like so for the next week or

[2:42]two I don't really know I'm going to

[2:45]probably hop around the campgrounds in

[2:46]Kentucky for a while cuz I'm not ready

[2:48]to leave my mom I'm just not I'm off

[2:51]her um and now my cats are there with

[2:55]her so see if we can work something out

[2:58]it it won't be the same you know it's

[3:00]not like she's going to be be staying in

[3:03]my campera with me um I did need a

[3:07]change I needed this I wanted this I

[3:10]still want this but I'm moving too fast

[3:13]I'm definitely moving too fast so I'm

[3:16]just kind of reassessing what I'm doing

[3:19]and you know it'll work itself out like

[3:23]when I'm processing what I'm feeling I'm

[3:26]just being honest about it I'm not I I

[3:29]don't censor myself if

[3:32]I feel a certain

[3:35]way I just accept that I accept that

[3:38]that's there's a reason for it and then

[3:40]I just need to ex you know kind of just

[3:43]sit with it and try to process

[3:46]it understand it whatever that's just

[3:48]who I am guys I'm a very sensitive

[3:50]person you can look it up um there are

[3:53]two things you can look up you can look

[3:54]up i n

[3:56]FJ I I will get it wrong if I try to

[3:59]tell you what it means just look the

[4:00]letter i n

[4:03]FJ um or look up highly sensitive person

[4:06]HSP I'm both of those things and we

[4:09]process the world a little differently

[4:11]than most people so I get why people

[4:13]always misunderstand me this has been a

[4:15]running thing through my my whole life

[4:19]um I'm hoping I'm really hoping that I

[4:25]will find a crowd on here who gets me

[4:31]and just wants to share my life with

[4:34]me

[4:36]without trying to change me in any way

[4:39]cuz I'm fine I really am fine even when

[4:41]I'm not fine I'm fine so that's all I

[4:44]have to say for now this will probably

[4:45]take like forever to upload because let

[4:48]me tell you something Tennessee has the

[4:49]worst Self Service of anywhere I have

[4:52]ever been so I'm doing pretty good um

[4:56]definitely still a little bit you know

[4:57]withdrawals happening for some reason at

[4:59]night my right arm turns heavy it's so

[5:03]weird it was both the first night but

[5:05]this is the third night the second and

[5:06]third night that happened think I'm

[5:08]going to have trouble sleeping again but

[5:11]I would say it's probably getting better

[5:14]cuz I don't feel like I'm getting worse

[5:16]so it's a good sign I'm I'm hoping

[5:20]because I definitely don't want to go

[5:23]through any more craziness I've had

[5:25]enough for now you guys have a good

[5:27]night

Summary

The speaker is driving through Tennessee on a 6-hour journey with one hour remaining. He reflects on the difficulty of leaving his empty house and seeing his mother, who had spent 2-3 days per week at his house with her own bedroom. He realizes he moved too fast in his life transition without considering what he was giving up.

He outlines three decisions: signing up for BetterHelp therapy, continuing to work with his doctor through medication withdrawal (refusing to return to the medications), and staying in Kentucky longer than planned to remain near his mother. His cats are now with his mother.

The speaker describes himself as a highly sensitive person (HSP) and INFJ personality type, explaining that he processes emotions openly without censoring himself. He experiences ongoing withdrawal symptoms, particularly his right arm becoming heavy at night, but believes the symptoms are improving. He expresses hope for finding an understanding audience who will accept him without trying to change him.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission holds the architecture of real-time course correction while navigating somatic disruption. The field is asserting its processing methodology as structurally sound while simultaneously acknowledging the need for deceleration and proximity recalibration with relational anchors.

Dominant Language

real meprocessing what I'm feelingmoving too fasthighly sensitive persongets mewithout trying to change meI'm fine even when I'm not fine

Symbolic Elements

thresholdwithdrawaldriveempty housecats

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
self-aware
•
recalibrating
•
vulnerable

Subsystems

•
somatic
•
emotional
•
relational
•
cognitive

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 30fps

Duration

5:29

Bitrate

2253 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028