Final Goodbye to House and Cats

The speaker is driving to his former house for the final time, having just delivered his cats to his parents. He's experiencing withdrawal symptoms and emotional distress about the major life transition from homeownership to nomadic camper living.

Energetic Signature

raw vulnerability

Field State

threshold crossing

Orientation

toward mobility infrastructure

01HWRMX8H0WJ6VAZANWG2878A8

April 30, 2024

6:58

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:00]so it's done my cats are safely with my

[0:03]mom and

[0:04]dad I'll have a good life there I'm

[0:08]feeling very conflicted of

[0:11]course um but I know it was I know it

[0:13]was the right thing to do especially

[0:16]knowing now as soon as I got there

[0:18]Oliver had broken out of his cat carrier

[0:22]I just had them in those two big

[0:24]rectangle things that um you know the

[0:26]kitty City stuff that they were using

[0:28]one of the zippers

[0:30]was apparently not very

[0:32]secure so he would have gotten out

[0:34]eventually

[0:37]somewhere it's probably for the best it

[0:39]really probably is probably guess I'm

[0:43]having a rough day this withdraw is

[0:45]killing

[0:47]me I am going to my house this is the

[0:51]last day I'm allowed to be there going

[0:52]to go and soak in a

[0:54]bathtub and kind of say goodbye to the

[0:57]place I am feeling very emotional

[1:00]certainly withdraw has something to do

[1:02]with that but it's not the main thing I

[1:05]think it's just amplifying how I'm

[1:07]feeling how was already

[1:09]feeling yeah it's a mix of things

[1:14]it's you know being homeless I

[1:18]always needed a house I needed a home of

[1:22]my own and I always worried about losing

[1:24]it you know was always a worry of mine

[1:31]um I never thought I would give one up

[1:33]but I

[1:34]did and this new life is so

[1:38]hard

[1:40]that I'm

[1:43]not I'm truly not regretting it like I

[1:46]know I keep saying that but I feel like

[1:49]and I'm not saying that to make myself

[1:51]believe

[1:53]it it's just I don't know I'm feeling

[1:55]remorseful for some

[1:57]reason I am really going to miss my mom

[2:00]so

[2:02]much I don't know what to do I I could

[2:04]start crying

[2:06]almost I don't know what to

[2:09]do I guess my cats aren't coming back

[2:12]with

[2:14]me

[2:19]wow that's

[2:21][Music]

[2:23]sad I think it's for the best

[2:27]so I'm

[2:30]part of me was like maybe I could get a

[2:32]c raise them in a camper it' be

[2:35]different but that would be dishonoring

[2:38]my

[2:39]cats maybe it's time for me to part of

[2:42]me is also like I've just freed myself

[2:45]from all the responsibilities I had and

[2:47]it felt like something I needed to

[2:50]do so that I could get my house in order

[2:53]because I just couldn't handle all that

[2:55]responsibility I wasn't handling it well

[2:57]I'm not handling the responsibility

[2:59]ility of

[3:01]myself well at

[3:03]all I've got to figure it

[3:07]out so I'm just

[3:11]driving to my old house for the last

[3:14]time to say go by to it and just chill

[3:16]in the bathtub for the last time cuz I

[3:18]feel so

[3:21]awful and then I'll drive back to my

[3:24]camper and I

[3:25]will figure out what I'm doing with the

[3:28]rest of my life

[3:35]I am really graving today like that is

[3:37]the my main emotion that's just flowing

[3:40]through me today is

[3:42]G that is not fun I don't like that

[3:45]feeling very

[3:49]much I don't know what to do about it

[3:51]though just let it

[3:54]being I think the reason I started this

[3:57]channel is cuz I needed the support

[4:00]you don't end up friendless in life

[4:03]without making certain choices I didn't

[4:05]stay in touch with

[4:07]people I didn't try to make friends when

[4:10]I moved to Kentucky and I've been here a

[4:12]long time now and I'm just not sure how

[4:15]you do that as an adult

[4:18]honestly so I never really tried I

[4:20]didn't take myself outside my comfort

[4:22]zone at

[4:24]all so part of this whole thing was

[4:31]you

[4:34]know take yourself outside of your house

[4:38]live in a camper travel the country

[4:41]force yourself outside of your comfort

[4:43]zone

[4:45]and just be open to new

[4:48]experiences see what comes of that try

[4:51]something new

[4:52]basically it just feels very hard and

[5:01]I'm glad I'm doing

[5:03]it I'm capable of it

[5:08]I I will work through these these issues

[5:15]and something good is going to come out

[5:17]of

[5:18]this the troll comments are getting a

[5:21]little bit nasty by the

[5:23]way um you know whatever like I don't

[5:28]understand people like that are you so

[5:30]miserable that

[5:32]you it it makes no sense cuz it's not

[5:34]going to change how I feel like I just

[5:37]look at those comments and I'm like wow

[5:39]what kind of person are

[5:42]you but you know I did expect that from

[5:45]day one and I warned my mom about it I

[5:48]said look it's engagements if some troll

[5:51]comes along and says something about me

[5:53]not having teeth or whatever just

[5:55]remember it's engagement and that

[5:58]actually helps me on YouTube so so just

[6:00]look at it that

[6:02]way I just I wish people were Kinder in

[6:06]the world I don't understand why people

[6:08]are so cruel all the time like it

[6:11]just are they just just so miserable or

[6:15]like I don't get

[6:17]it I

[6:19]just it's one of the things I've never

[6:21]understood about this world is why so

[6:23]many people are just so

[6:26]mean and so unhappy I mean I'm

[6:30]unhappy but I wouldn't call myself mean

[6:33]you know like I get that we're all

[6:37]different I just I guess it's really a

[6:40]sad Testament to humanity yeah we're

[6:44]just not nicer to each

[6:46]other I'm here I'm going to go say

[6:49]goodbye to this place for the last time

[6:51]go soak in the

[6:53]bathtub right for God knows how long

[6:55]years maybe

Summary

The speaker has permanently relocated his cats to his parents' home and is making his final visit to his former house. He describes the practical challenges of the cat transport, including Oliver breaking out of a carrier. He's experiencing withdrawal symptoms and emotional difficulty with the transition from housed life to living in a camper. The speaker reflects on being friendless, his decision to force himself outside his comfort zone by traveling in a camper, and dealing with negative YouTube comments. He plans to take a final bath in his old house before returning to his camper to figure out his next steps.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission documents a fundamental threshold crossing where attachment structures are being deliberately dissolved to enable field mobility. The architecture being held is one of necessary severance - cats, house, fixed responsibilities - creating space for emergent nomadic infrastructure while processing the somatic cost of structural dissolution.

Dominant Language

responsibilitygriefcomfort zonefigure it outsomething good is going to comeforce yourselfsay goodbye

Symbolic Elements

thresholdbathtubhousecampercomfort zone

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
dissolving
•
grieving
•
sovereign

Subsystems

•
somatic
•
emotional
•
infrastructural
•
relational

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 30fps

Duration

6:58

Bitrate

3420 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028