Morning Drive to Parents House During Withdrawal

Early morning drive on highway, day eight of RV living (counting from April 11th birthday). Cats left at camper. Heading to parents' house first, then to his former house to collect items including coffee maker. Currently staying at campground with power hookups.

Energetic Signature

resolute under pressure

Field State

threshold crossing

Orientation

toward embodied sovereignty

01HVRVXD6RW91NEMQVGA5A2Q3Y

April 18, 2024

10:03

View on YouTube

Author

rswfire

Status

ARCHIVED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

[0:01]good morning guys sorry for any road

[0:03]noise I wasn't really planning to record

[0:05]a video this morning I'm on my way to my

[0:08]parents house I just got on the highway

[0:10]it's like 8:00 in the morning cats are

[0:12]at the

[0:14]camper uh I'm just picking up some

[0:16]packages I really need my internet

[0:17]something that works there all the time

[0:20]I basically given up on starlink at this

[0:23]point I'm going to I just paused my

[0:25]service and maybe I'll try it again

[0:27]later they gave me some suggestions that

[0:29]may help but I am a programmer all of it

[0:32]sounded like silly nonsense

[0:35]honestly but you know whatever I just

[0:38]think their

[0:39]services could be so much better and I

[0:42]know how to make it better I don't know

[0:43]why they they haven't so

[0:46]anyways um I had a rough night I am

[0:51]going through withraw for sure now which

[0:54]is a little crazy to me

[0:56]because I'm tapering like I'm not

[0:59]completely off my m but I have been

[1:00]taking way less I'm cutting them in half

[1:03]and just doing the best I

[1:06]can and it'll get better like I'm not

[1:09]letting it ruin my day stuff like that

[1:11]I'm just going to keep going on with my

[1:13]life of course but man last night was

[1:16]bad I tore my bed apart lost my necklace

[1:19]on there I think the cats were like

[1:21]we're not dealing with this and they

[1:22]just went in the cab area or

[1:25]something um it's a lot for all three of

[1:28]us to be in that bad

[1:30]so anyways I'm think we're doing pretty

[1:34]good like I'm loving this new life so

[1:37]much I am just so grateful to have this

[1:40]chance and I am documenting what I'm

[1:43]calling my second life and I wanted you

[1:45]guys to know that you know I've given up

[1:48]on any YouTube dreams I don't really

[1:50]care like I love that there are 90

[1:52]people who want to follow me I think

[1:54]that's amazing and I hope my video I

[1:57]made about that I I messed up I didn't

[2:01]tell you that and I should have it's to

[2:03]me it wasn't about the numbers it's to

[2:07]YouTube it's about the numbers not to me

[2:09]you know so that's what I was trying to

[2:12]say is that you know YouTube makes it

[2:14]very difficult for

[2:16]you you know unless you have the numbers

[2:18]and like I'm happy with the numbers I

[2:20]have why isn't that enough for YouTube

[2:22]that's how I look at it um and so at

[2:25]this point though I'm just you know I

[2:27]want you to know I'm just going to keep

[2:28]doing this

[2:30]and cuz I want to document my second

[2:33]life and I want to share with you guys

[2:35]um there's a guy named Carl out

[2:38]there when I can I'll I'll link you to

[2:41]him in the comments he left a message to

[2:43]me in one of his videos it was just the

[2:46]most shocking thing of my life to hear

[2:48]someone talk about me on

[2:50]YouTube and it was so kind I just wanted

[2:54]to say thank you so kind Carl thank you

[2:57]I feel the same way by the way if feel

[3:00]like you're just we started together

[3:03]you're kind of like you're kind of like

[3:05]my brother out there somewhere who was

[3:07]just we're navigating this new life

[3:10]together right I mean that was such a

[3:13]cool message I I want to share it with

[3:15]you guys I'm going to I'll I I'll post

[3:16]it to you

[3:18]somehow so I mean I don't have a lot to

[3:21]talk about it was a rough morning I got

[3:23]up I wasn't sure like I wasn't planning

[3:26]to come back um to you know my house

[3:29]house and my parents' house

[3:32]today I don't want to say home it's not

[3:34]my home anymore um so I'm just going to

[3:36]stop by my parents house get some things

[3:38]there then I'm going to go to my house

[3:40]get some things there including my

[3:41]coffee maker cuz I can use that on a

[3:44]campground I didn't even think about you

[3:46]know you're on a campground you've got

[3:48]power so use your

[3:50]things

[3:52]um I definitely want a Boondock when I

[3:54]get out west though so I I'm I still

[3:56]have a lot to learn about how to

[3:58]conserve energy I still haven't found my

[4:00]shaving

[4:02]kit um I was able to shower though thank

[4:06]God the shower stopped draining though

[4:09]and for a minute there I thought maybe

[4:10]my tanks were full but they're not um

[4:12]that was the one place where I didn't

[4:14]snake so I'm thinking maybe I need to do

[4:18]that um the cats are good like I think

[4:21]they're really embracing this too they

[4:23]would love to be outside I'm still

[4:25]debating that because the second I do

[4:27]anytime I open that door they're going

[4:28]to be like well why aren you taking us

[4:30]that's what it was like at the house and

[4:32]I made that mistake and I'm like maybe I

[4:34]shouldn't make it again so really

[4:37]debating that one I want my cats to have

[4:39]the best life they can have but it has

[4:42]to be within

[4:44]reason you know so and then there's a

[4:47]couple other things I'm going to do I'm

[4:48]just going to do some shopping I

[4:50]realized that we really need paper

[4:52]plates because Oliver eats wet food and

[4:56]he sometimes doesn't eat all of it and I

[4:58]have to get rid of it like

[5:01]it's just you learn to live differently

[5:03]and you don't really understand what you

[5:05]need until you've been doing this for a

[5:08]while and I'm starting to get that

[5:10]feeling so I this is week one I think

[5:13]today's day eight if you count April

[5:16]11th my birthday and I think that's I

[5:18]think I should be counting that day so

[5:20]I'm going to um so I have another week

[5:23]at this Campground I had reservation I

[5:25]do have reservations to go to Tennessee

[5:27]to stay at like uh Army cor of engineer

[5:31]place but they have these giant warnings

[5:33]about bears there frequenting the area

[5:37]and how Bears can smell through cans of

[5:40]food and I'm like you know I have cats

[5:42]their food is out you know all the time

[5:45]probably I shouldn't be going there so

[5:47]I'm going to try to figure something

[5:49]else out I did leave a message for the

[5:51]campground I'm at I just ask could I

[5:53]please stay longer I'm really trying to

[5:55]adjust to a New Life we'll see what they

[5:57]say you know they may not have have a

[6:00]choice like there's you know regulations

[6:02]or whatever if they you know if it's

[6:04]something like that it's like you can

[6:06]only stay for 2 weeks then okay but

[6:09]can't hurt to

[6:11]ask um and if I can't then I'll just

[6:14]find something else nearby hopefully you

[6:17]know I still haven't filled up my

[6:19]propane I'm a little afraid to do that

[6:21]that's one of the fears I'm still

[6:23]dealing with like is just how to

[6:24]navigate

[6:26]that um I don't have a lot of other ones

[6:29]so like I'm not terribly concerned about

[6:32]driving or towing or any of that I even

[6:35]this is crazy guys I started seeing the

[6:38]class A's out there and started

[6:40]imagining my life in them like what I

[6:44]just got my Class C camper in my brain

[6:47]has already decided it's not good enough

[6:49]like what um and and that I can just tow

[6:53]this giant bus around with my Jeep I

[6:56]don't think so so I'm telling my brain

[6:58]to stop that right now now maybe in a

[7:01]few years I don't know let me you know

[7:03]let me get used to this place that I put

[7:04]so much work

[7:06]into um I'm loving it it's my home now

[7:10]it's my cat's home we're just it's just

[7:13]great I was sitting outside this morning

[7:16]after that rough night and it was like

[7:18]all the PE the peace that I felt just

[7:22]walking out my my door was

[7:26]just amazing it's like it took away all

[7:29]of the ANS of that night

[7:32]and I can't imagine living differently

[7:35]because you don't get that in the house

[7:37]you just

[7:38]don't

[7:40]so I'm I'm really thrilled there are

[7:44]challenges we'll talk about those I'm

[7:46]working through

[7:48]them um you know like like small tanks

[7:51]like cuz I think my tank is pretty much

[7:54]full um and I've only been there a week

[7:56]and I haven't used a lot of water

[7:59]man like I

[8:01]don't like you just I thought I was

[8:04]conserving water really well so I just

[8:07]you know and I don't have a hookup for

[8:08]that so I got to pull in my slide drive

[8:11]it

[8:11]somewhere drain the tanks bring it back

[8:14]relevel it like all of that like that's

[8:16]a pain right but that's part of the life

[8:18]I guess and I'll just do it uh I'll do

[8:22]whatever I have to

[8:23]do I don't want to be stationary like I

[8:27]just I don't think I'd like that I think

[8:30]I really want to just and I also don't

[8:34]want to like just be in my camp or on my

[8:37]campsite like I do want to get out there

[8:39]exploring um let me get through this

[8:42]with raw part I don't think it's going

[8:44]to take that long like I'm cuz I'm doing

[8:46]it the cold turkey way pretty much um

[8:49]you go through a lot of pain real fast

[8:52]and then it's over and then and I'd

[8:53]prefer that oh so I lost one follower

[8:58]and when I posted my video about being

[9:00]high last night I just want to say one

[9:03]thing to that I understand if you don't

[9:06]agree with my choices the best thing for

[9:08]you to do is to unsubscribe I'm totally

[9:10]cool with that I am a little surprised

[9:13]that someone would be so judgmental

[9:15]though like it's legal a lot of places

[9:18]now and what I was smoking was legal and

[9:22]it's not something I do all the time and

[9:24]I do it safely I would never do it if I

[9:26]was like going to drive somewhere like I

[9:28]knew I was going to be home for the rest

[9:30]of the night so it was fine you know I'm

[9:33]just I just um really feel that it helps

[9:37]with some of the issues that I have um

[9:39]it helps with anxiety it helps with pain

[9:42]management it helps with withdrawal I'm

[9:45]not going to you know like I say in all

[9:47]my videos really I'm done being judged

[9:49]by people I'll tell you that right now

[9:51]I'm going to live my life I'm going to

[9:53]live my best life my second life and

[9:56]that's what I'm doing and for those of

[9:57]you who are here for the ride with me I

[10:00]love you and thank you

Summary

rswfire drives to his parents' house on day eight of RV living to pick up packages and supplies. He reports experiencing withdrawal symptoms from tapering medication, describing a difficult night where he tore apart his bed and lost his necklace. He discusses giving up on Starlink internet service due to technical issues and his programming background making their suggestions seem inadequate.

He expresses gratitude for his "second life" and mentions documenting this transition, clarifying that his previous video about YouTube numbers was misunderstood - the issue is YouTube's requirements, not his satisfaction with his current follower count. He references a supportive message from another YouTuber named Carl.

Practical RV living challenges include shower drainage problems, tank management, and learning to conserve resources. He's considering staying longer at his current campground rather than moving to a Tennessee location with bear warnings that could threaten his cats' safety. He mentions already fantasizing about upgrading to a Class A RV despite just getting his current setup.

He addresses losing a subscriber after posting about cannabis use, defending his legal and responsible usage for anxiety, pain management, and withdrawal symptoms. He emphasizes living authentically without judgment from others.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission operates as real-time field calibration during acute transition stress. The architecture being held is one of sovereign boundary-setting while navigating withdrawal, infrastructure challenges, and external judgment - establishing new operational parameters for embodied autonomy.

Dominant Language

second lifeI'm done being judgedmy home nowwithdrawaldocumentingbest liferough nightnew life

Symbolic Elements

thresholdwithdrawalhomeroadcatssecond life

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
sovereign
•
embodied
•
integrating

Subsystems

•
somatic
•
infrastructural
•
relational
•
ethical

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 30fps

Duration

10:03

Bitrate

2893 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028